Advice from Caithness people

[mike.mckenzie]

Hello

Situation : the ex won't let me see my kids or speak to them on the phone...whats the best way to sort this out? Bearing in mind she is the most unreasonable person ever born...

Whats the score legally and how long does it take to get it sorted out?

[Eve M]

Gaawd what a situation. What did you do to deserve that? Have you been to a solicitor? There is something called family Mediation here in Scotland, not sure about England though. Are you married to her? I think its all much easier if your married? I wouldn't hang around, get legal advice asap.

Good luck

[Tristan]

Bearing in mind she is the most unreasonable person ever born...

The unreasonableness may not be as one-sided as you think! In my experience the problems that crop up around a break-up can be based on a power struggle, as people try to come to grips with it.

Have you tried counselling? There are some good ones up here - look in the phone book. It's cheaper than a lawyer, and the best thing for the kids is if you two can come to some sort of amicable arrangement.

Best of luck

[mike.mckenzie]

Without going into it, I have tried to be reasonable and accommodating but every weekend she goes crazy and starts screaming mad at me. This is the latest in a long line of things to make my life as difficult as possible. Really starting to annoy me now.

[Angela]

Hi Mike,

Im sorry to hear about your troubles and it may sound really naff but what about sending her a letter explaining everything, at least then you will get your say without causing another argument.

Might be worth a try, and explain that no matter what has gone on between the two of you its shouldnt be taken out on the kids, Im sure they are suffering not seeing you too.

Explain as well that by giving you the kids sometimes will give her a chance to do her own thing, go shopping, go out with her friends etc. That would appeal to me if I was a single mum.

Good Luck

A

[htwood]

Not sure about English law, but if you were married and are now divorced, there should be something in the final divorce decree that outlines your visitation rights. If you were not married, you may have to go to court to establish paternity rights, and take it from there.
Family counseling would be good too, less expensive than a lawyer and more likely to smooth out the rough edges. Good luck, and dont give up.

[mike.mckenzie]

Thanks to you all for your advice. You're all good people!