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Thread: Proud to be Scottish

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    8,203

    Talking Proud to be Scottish

    Being Scottish is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or ,aTurkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

    And the most Scottish thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

    Only in Scotland can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

    Only in Scotland do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    Only in Sotland do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

    Only in Scotland do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

    Only in Scotland do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

    Only in Scotland do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

    Only in Scotland are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

    NOT TO MENTION..

    3 Scots die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

    142 Scots were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

    58 Scots are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

    31 Scots have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

    19 Scots have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

    Scottish Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.

    18 Scots had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

    A massive 543 Scots were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.

    5 Scots were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.

    and finally...

    In 2000 eight Scots were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.

    SCOTLAND - Love it, or Leave it!

    Proud To Be Scottish
    Once the original Grumpy Owld Man but alas no more

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Halkirk
    Posts
    1,510

    Talking V V Good!

    Loved that..class!
    Spring has sprung, the grass is ris', I wonder where the birdies is, the birdies is on d' wing, now thats absurd, everyone knows d' wing is on d' bird

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Nr Bremen Germany
    Posts
    329

    Default

    you missed one out Golach
    only scots go to work abroad because of various reasen and feel homesick all other nationalities go to work abroad to get away from their government ...loved the topic

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Not Wick
    Posts
    1,702

    Default

    Only Scots aren't big headed about thinking they can win at everything.

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