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Thread: Three Grandmas

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2005

    Default Three Grandmas

    Three old mischievous Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home.
    About then an old Grandpa walked by, and one of the old Grandma's yelled out saying,
    'We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.'

    The old man said, 'There ain't no way you can guess it, you old fools.'
    One of the old Grandmas said, 'Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts
    and we can tell your exact age.'

    Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped his drawers.
    The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times.
    Then they all piped up and said, 'You're 87 years old!'

    Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, 'How in the world did you guess?'
    Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, all three old ladies happily yelled in unison--
    'We were at your birthday party yesterday!'

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2005

    Default Three Gifts

    Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting together for Christmas, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
    The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."
    The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes."

    The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."

    Soon thereafter,
    Mom sent out her letters of thanks:

    Dear Milton," she wrote one son, "The house you built is too huge. I live in only one room, but I have to keep the whole house clean!"

    "Dear Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay at home most of the time, so I rarely use the Mercedes."

    "Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "You have the good sense to know what your Mother likes.
    The chicken was Dee-licious!"

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