Husband and Wife

[angela5]

Through a scheduling mix up, a man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. It's late, the train is full, and everyone else is already asleep. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.

In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea ... let's pretend we're married."
"Why not," giggles the woman. "Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."

[angela5]

A husband and wife who have been married 20 years were doing some yard work. The man was working hard cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife was bending over, weeding flowers from the flower bed.

The man says to his wife, "Your rear end is almost as wide as this grill." She ignored the remark.
A little later, the husband takes his measuring tape and measures the grill, then he goes over to his wife while she is bending over, measures her rear end and gasps, "Geez, your butt really IS as wide as the grill!" She ignores this remark as well. Later that night while in bed, her husband starts to feel frisky. The wife calmly responds, "If you think I'm gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, you are sadly mistaken."

[angela5]

Wife says to her husband "You are going to have to work more hours, we are running out of money at the end of the month."

"But I'm working all the hours god sends as it is, we'll just have to cut back" replies the husband.

"OK then, when you get home you have 10 cans of lager, you can cut that out" says the wife.

"What about you, what are you giving up? You spend money on make-up, lipstick and stuff, you'll have to give that up."

"That's to make me more attractive" says the wife.

"What do you think the lagers for?"