pining dog

[Fran]

What can I do to help bobby my dog who is pining, have any of you been through this. His Dad died last week and though he was on the bed and knew what happened then next day jumped up looking in the coffin a lot, and so hasnt looked for him at the door etc, he is pining. I have hardly left him and keep cuddling him. He lies in his bed and cries, or sits in a corner and cries it is so sad.I should mention also he put a lot of his toys under the coffin the day of the funeral.
If any of you have experienced this I would really appreciate your comments.

[carasmam]

Aah Fran, dont have any experience but my heart goes out to you and Bobby. Have you tried putting a t shirt or something that smells of his master in his bed with him?
Sorry I cant help but didn't want to read and run. Take care x

[corgiman]

I would agree give him something with his masters scent on it and you could maybe try some rescue remedy for a few days to calm him a bit.

[brandy]

ohh hun, i dont know what to tell you. i would guess it would be like a small child who has lost a parent but dosent understand everything.. yet knows something is horribly wrong. they cant understand why daddy isnt coming back.
you may want to call the vet and ask for advice.. and wasnt their a link on here about an animal behaviorist?
i know it may sound completley bonkers.. but they may be some sort of grief councilling they can offer. obviously not like we would have.. but something to help him get past this hard time. *HUGE HUGS*

[brandy]

Can dogs and cats grieve after the loss of a loved one? I have seen some interesting and sad cases recently where this does seem to be the case and when you think about what’s important to dogs and cats, it’s obvious that the loss of an animal companion, or of a human companion, can evoke ‘emotions’.

However, when it comes to an animal’s perception of grief, the emotions stem from different origins than grief in humans. Humans have the ability to think and reason at a level much higher than that of animals so we are able to conceptualise aspects about the loss of a loved one that are just not possible when pets experience a loss.

As humans, when we lose a loved one, the feeling of grief is overwhelming. We experience disbelief, anger, guilt and that cavernous sense of emptiness. Much of our grief involves memories of the little things that our loved ones use to do and the fact that such joys will never be experienced again in the future.

Pets have difficulty with the concept of ‘future'. To conceptualise a sense of 'future' requires a level of cognition that pets are incapable of. Thus, their sense of loss when loved ones pass on is very different. To pets, the present and to a lesser extent the past is more important.

So how do pets grieve?
What effect does the mood of the grieving owner have?
What can be done to help pets that are grieving?
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So how do pets grieve? Top
The most important aspect of a dog’s life is its attachment to its pack which includes its owner and other valued companion animals. Therefore, for a dog, one of the most dramatic effects of the loss of an owner or another companion pet is the change in pack hierarchy.

If the deceased owner or companion pet was a 'leader' in the pack, a dog can be like a rudderless ship with the engine on 'full steam ahead'. Thus grieving dogs lack direction and become 'mentally lost' or, in other words, anxious. For such pets, if another person, or sometimes another animal, steps in to provide strong leadership, grieving pets often improve.

Another effect of the death of an owner or in-contact animal is the dramatic break in established routine that the pet is used to. Dogs recognise repetitive events easily and therefore, changes in expected routines are often upsetting for them.

For instance, if a dog is used to a nightly walk with an owner, the time-tabled daily joy leads to a strongly reinforced habit. The dog has an expectation of the set event at the known time. If that doesn’t occur, because of the death of the owner, the dog can become anxious or confused.

Similarly when a dog shares it life with another dog, the games they play and the continual companionship they share are essential joys that disappear when this in-contact dog dies.


What effect does the mood of the grieving owner have? Top
Dogs are also very perceptive of their owner's moods. Naturally, a dog's owner will grieve, very visibly, when a loved one passes on and also when a beloved pet passes on too.

This grief will certainly be visible to the pet and it has a variety of effects on it.

Many dogs will move close to try to comfort the owner, but some dogs show other behaviours. Some will shun the owners and become less affectionate, and I have seen several dogs that, because of their 'confusion' at the owner's grieving behaviour and the stress-related effects of loss of a mate, have become aggressive towards their owner. In other cases, dogs and cats have become quite introverted, reclusive and depressed. Grieving cats will often wail and meow mournfully as if calling their mate to them.


What can be done to help pets that are grieving? Top
There are many things that can be done to help a pet through the grieving process.

1. Establish Strong Leadership
Providing leadership gives the animal direction and purpose. Practice some gentle obedience routines by looking for opportunities where you can give your dog a gentle command. Use the 'Pay Up Pooch' routine where, for instance, you ask your dog to 'sit' when it wants to come inside or go outside. Do the same when you are feeding it and even when it seeks your affection. Then be much more demonstrative in rewarding your pet responding to these commands.

If you see your dog becoming anxious or slipping into an introverted mood, distract it by asking it to respond to some obedience commands.

2. Establish New Routines
Within reason, change your daily routine with your dog by adding more joyous interactions. Take the dog for walks at different times of the day. Feed it at different times and change the type of food. Give the dog part of its daily food when you are not going to be home with it by placing the food inside a Kong Toy or Roller Treat Ball or a Giggle Ball when you are leaving the dog.

3. Increase the Joys of Life
Play 'brain games' with your pet in and around your house, your yard and out on the street. Consider taking your dog to dog parks for exercise with other dogs.

Try teaching the pet a new trick or two. 'Hide and Seek' is a useful game. Put your dog in a STAY position, sneak off to another part of the house and yard and command COME. When your dog finds you, praise it enthusiastically and romp around the yard for a short while before repeating the game.

It is likely that the therapies listed will help your pet with its grieving. However, if your pet is so upset that it cannot respond then low side-effect anti-anxiety medications could be considered. Please see your vet for advice.

[nanoo]

Fran, when my own father died many years ago, he and Mum had a German Shepherd Dog called Kymm, like Bobby she was pining for my Dad. If i remember correctly my brother put things that smelled of Dad into her big basket bed and it helped a little but like a human grieving, it just takes time. Eventually, Kymm returned to her normal self and within six months she came to live with my other half and me because Mum was'nt so fit to look after her. I lived across the road from my Mother and took Kymm to her house every evening with me. Kymm lived to be an old lady. My advice would be ,just let Bobby deal with his grief in his own way and things will get better for him with time and patience and a lot of love from the family.LOLxxxx

[Thumper]

Hi Fran,I would definately give the poor wee soul something that smells of his Dad,it really will help.Apart from that there's only time that will help,the wee thing is grieving,it is hard for both of you and I hope it will get a bit better soon,give it time and have lots of cuddles with the dog x

[Fran]

pleased to say bobby is eating and wagging his tail,he follows me everywhere and hasnt cried for the last two days, so he is really on the mend. He carries his dads slippers about and sleeps on the bed with me, we are comforting each other. He knows his dad wont come back as he was with him when he went. thankyou all for your suggestions, so much appreciated.

[cuddlepop]

I'm so glad the wee dog has managed to come to terms with his masters loss.
You'll probably find Fran he's going to be like your shadow for a while.
I'm sure you'll find alot of comfort in each other