the genie.

[johno]

A couple were golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million pound houses. On the third tee the husband said, “Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball dont knock out any windows. Itll cost us a fortune to fix.”
The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said, “I told you to watch out for the houses. Alright, lets go up there, apologise and see how much this is going to cost.”
They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, “Come on in.” They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the hall. A man on the couch said, “Are you the people that broke my window?”
“Uh, yes, sorry about that.” the husband replied.
“No, actually I want to thank you. Im a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You,ve released me. Im allowed to grant three wishes- Ill give you each one wish, and Ill keep the last one for myself.”
“OK, great!” the husband said. “I want a million pound,s a year for the rest of my life.” “No problem-its the least I could do. And you, what do you want?” the genie said, looking at the wife.
“I want a house in every country of the world,” she said.
“Consider it done.” the genie replied.
“And whats your wish, genie?” the husband said.
“Well, since Ive been trapped in that bottle, I havent had sex with a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife.”
The husband looks at the wife and said, “Well, we did get a lot of money and all those house,s, honey. I guess I dont care.” The genie took the wife upstairs for five hours.
After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said, “How old is your husband, anyway?”
“35.” she replied.
“And he still believes in genies? Thats amazing.”

[angela5]

Good one....

[angela5]

A guy walks into a tavern. As he walked up to the bar he noticed a twelve-inch man playing the piano, so he asked the bartender, "What's that all about?"
The bartender told him he that would tell him later. So the guy asked the bartender for a drink. The bartender said, "Before you get your drink, you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make one wish."
"Okay," said the guy. He went over to the magic beer bottle and rubbed it. Poof. Out came a genie. The genie, of course, said, "You have one wish."
The guy thought about it and then wished for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke filled the room, and then both the genie and the guy disappeared. In a few minutes, the guy reappeared back in the bar with a million ducks all around him.
The guy was astounded and said to the bartender, "Hey! I didn't want a million ducks." The bartender replied, "Do you think I wanted a twelve-inch Pianist?"

[angela5]

One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously and a genie appeared.

"I'll grant you your fondest wish," the genie said.
The man thought for a moment, then said, "I want a spectacular job--a job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever attempted to do." "Done!!" said the Genie, "You're a housewife."

[angela5]

A man is walking on the beach, and finds a bottle. He picks it up, and dusts it off. A genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, but he needs to be aware, that everything he wishes for, his ex-wife will get double. The man says "OK, for my first wish, I want a million dollars. For my second wish, I want a new red corvette. And for my third wish, I want you to scare me half to death!"

[angela5]

A poor little lonely old lady lived in a house with only her cat as a friend. One day, the lights went out as she sat knitting; she had been unable to pay the electric bill. So, she went up to the attic and got an old oil lamp from her childhood. As she rubbed it clean a genie appeared and allowed her three wishes.

"First, I want to be so rich I never have to worry about money again.''
"Second, I want to be young and beautiful again.''
"And last, I want you to change my little cat into a handsome prince.'' As you would expect, there was a loud explosion, with a lot of thick smoke. As the smoke cleared she saw she was surrounded by big bags of coins, and that in the mirror was a young beautiful woman. She turned as the handsome prince walked in the door, held her in his arms and said, "Now I'll bet you're sorry you took me to the vet for that little operation."

[johno]

liked all of these, but the 3rd one ,thats real cool. heh heh,