Mary and Jane are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time. Mary is upset because she thinks her husband doesn't find her attractive anymore. "As I get older he doesn't bother to look at me!" Mary cries.
"I'm so sorry for you, as I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day." replied Jane.
To which Mary added, "Yes, but your husband's an antique dealer!"
One Tuesday evening, two confirmed bachelors were talking when the conversation eventually drifted from sports to politics, and then on to cooking.
The first guy said, "I got a cookbook once, but I could never do anything with it."
"Too much fancy stuff in it, eh?" asked the other bachelor.
"You said it." the first guy replied. "Every one of those recipes began the same way, 'Take a clean dish . . .' "
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