Limerick

**trinkie** · 23-Jul-07, 06:52

A sweet bonnie lass by the Trinkie
Met a handsome young, virile young Tinkie
Oh the look on his face
As he untied her lace
Then beckoned her doon with his pinkie.

**trinkie** · 23-Jul-07, 06:55

Div ye mind young Louis Cabrelli
Whose ice-cream delighted wur Nellie
That warm glow insider her
As she licked her big slider
That slid richt doon till her belly.

**trinkie** · 23-Jul-07, 07:29

The folk here on the forum
With their brand of homespun decorum
Have stories and rhymes from The Sun to The Times
Sure, there's nothing here to bore 'em.

**Sporran** · 23-Jul-07, 12:05

There was a a young chappy called Andy
Who was a bit of a dandy
He looked in the mirror
Said "Boy, you're a winner!"
Then dashed off to meet his date Mandy.

**Sporran** · 23-Jul-07, 13:02

There was a rich man from Toronto
Who demanded his meals be served pronto
His Italian chef was slow
Therefore he was forced to go
Now he's heading back home to Sorrento.

**Sporran** · 23-Jul-07, 13:33

There wis a mannie owld Hughie
Who lek'd a dram o' Drambuie
He drank his bottle dry
An' he wis a thursty guy
Noo he's headed doon o'er 'e Struie.

**trinkie** · 23-Jul-07, 18:00

A bonnie young lass from Cairndhuna
Fell for a laddie from Huna
When they got wed
And lay doon on their bed
She thought she had landed on Puna

**Sporran** · 23-Jul-07, 20:03

There wis a fair lassie fae Mey
Who wis in the family way
When asked "Who dunnit?"
She said "A lad fae Dunnet
An' noo he's gone far, far away!"

**Sporran** · 23-Jul-07, 20:25

Up by Scrabster Hill Polo
A wifie went walking solo
And though a strong wind blew
It wis such a lovely view
Fae that roond steen folly wi' the hole-o.

**Sporran** · 24-Jul-07, 04:00

There wis a mannie fae Murkle
Whose wife chased him wi' a spirtle
He'd missed his aim
At a darts board game
And broke her very best crystal.

**Kingetter** · 24-Jul-07, 21:35

There once was a feller called Carl
Like a Viking he'd a fearsome snarl
He worried dogs and scared the cats
And even frightened great big rats
So his neighbours renamed him The Jarl.

**Kenn** · 24-Jul-07, 22:41

There was a young man from Australia
Who painted his rear like a dahlia,
The colour was fine,
The picture sublime.
The smell ahh there was the failure!

**trinkie** · 25-Jul-07, 09:32

There once was a mannie from Kaitness
Who suddenly thought he was weightless
He sat on a chair
Which really wasn't there
Now lies in perfect peace and quaitness.

**trinkie** · 25-Jul-07, 14:18

Lear wrote - ( I call them Learmanicks)

There was an old man with a beard
Who said 'Just as I feared
Two Owls and a Hen
Four larks and a Wren
Have all built their nests in my beard.'

There was a young lady from Ryde
Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied;
She purchased some clogs
And some small spotty dogs
And frequently walk around Ryde.

There was an old man of Dundee
Who frequented the top of a tree
When disturbed by the crows,
He abruptly arose
And exclaimed ' I'll return to Dundee.'

There was a fat lady of Clyde
Whose shoelaces once came untied
She feared that to bend
Would display her rear end
So she cried and she cried and she cried.

There was a fat lady of Bryde
Whose shoelaces once came untied
She didn't dare stoop
For fear she would poop
So she cried and she cried and she cried.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lear was Drawing Master to Queen Victoria.
It was said of Lear -

There once was an artist named Lear
Who wrote verse to make children cheer,
Though they never made sense
Their success was immense
And the Queen thought Lear a dear .

**Sporran** · 25-Jul-07, 16:33

Edward Lear is also famous for writing that well known poem, "The Owl and the Pussycat". You can read more about him here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Lear

**Sporran** · 25-Jul-07, 16:46

There wis a young chiel fae Scrabster
Who fancied himsel' as a rap star
But he got 'e goat
O' 'e men on 'e boats
'At aspirin' young rapper fae Scrabster.

**trinkie** · 25-Jul-07, 17:58

That reminds me ..... do you know this one ?

Sinking poem by Mal Peet

The Owl and the Pussy cat went out to sea
In a poem by Edward Lear
After a while Owl said with a smile
'This poem is sinking I fear .'

'Oh Pussy dear Pussy, I really must fly
There's water got into this verse
'Besides I've a hunch I was meant for your lunch
Or breakfast, or dinner or worse.'

**Sporran** · 25-Jul-07, 19:30

Ah lek a Scots actor named Ewan
He's in several movies fur viewan'
He wis born in sma' toon o' Crieff
Choost look at him noo, guid grief!
Til see him perform folks are queuan'!

**trinkie** · 25-Jul-07, 19:34

A Scotsman who ate mince and tatties
Two boiled eggs and three fish patties
Went off to be sick
Then continued his trick
By eating four greasy chapattis.