Limerick

[Tubthumper]

There was an old man called Tubthumper
Who drove into his neighbour's bumper
It wasn't a joke
The car was all broke
He had to get Speedy's to dump 'er

Guess who's back...

[Lavenderblue2]

There was a young lassie from Mey
Who went for a lark in the hay
She started to sneeze
Then to cough and to wheeze
Antihistamines came into play.

[Lavenderblue2]

There was a young lassie from Ham
Her boyfriend was known as young Tam
He took her to Brough
Where they lay by the loch
Now they may have to purchase a pram.

[trinkie]

The man from the Castle o' Mey
Hopes till be King one day,
When they asked the fine filla
Why he merried Camilla
He said, he'd loved her forever an' ae

[trinkie]

A lady by the Pentland Firth
Was full of jollity and mirth
When asked why she laughed
She said 'Och dont be daft -
This is better than living in Perth !''

[trinkie]

A lassie from Latheronwheel
Fell doon on the ground quite unweel
Two men tried to lift her
But they couldn't shift her
Cos she's just had a very big meal.

[trinkie]

A grumpy ould mannie from Keiss
One day hed till call the Police
When they asked 'Fit's wrong ?'
It took him so long
To say he'd been chased by some g-g-geese.

[trinkie]

A sensible man wis Jock Bain
He never went oot in the rain
When asked ' Why d'ye stay in?'
He said 'I'm far too thin
An micht fall doon ai drain!'

[trinkie]

There was a young lady from Bower
Who lived in a golden tower
When asked how she got there
she replied 'Plenty hot air
and a balloon, for almost an hour'

[Lavenderblue2]

A sporting young girlie from Dunn
entered a marathon run
she managed the miles
but there weren’t many smiles
when the prize was a cinnamon bun.

[Lavenderblue2]

A gluttonous lady from Forss
So ravenous she ate up a horse
She swallowed it whole
Along with its foal
And now she is dead of course.

[trinkie]

Great Fiddler that son of a Gunn
Plays music like no other one
When he picks up his bow
Start tapping your toe
Cos you're in for a night full of fun.

[trinkie]

A poor little Scottie from Sordale
While suffering a very bad sore tail
Would snarl if you neared him
The bairnies all feared him
So they ran off and played with the Airedale.

[trinkie]

A funny ould wifie from Skirza
Went on the bus up till Thursa
But when she got there
She wondered just where
She'd been - here or vice versa ?

[Sporran]

On days when the rain's really pourin'
And things around you are borin'
Just come to this site
With piccies so bright
And post on the Caithness Org forum!

[golach]

On days when the rain's really pourin'
And things around you are borin'
Just come to this site
With piccies so bright
And post on the Caithness Org forum!

Sorry Sporran could'na resist

And when things around ye are borin'
Just come to this site
if your looking for a fight
and post on the Caithness Org forum

[Kenn]

There was a young man from Australie,
Who painted his a r s e like a dahlia,
The colour was fine . the picture sublime,
The smell. AH there was the failure!

With apologies to our antipodean friends.

[Sporran]

A peedie wee lassie named Heather
Ventured out in Caithness wild weather
She put up her brolly
But that was her folly
For the wind wheeched her off like a feather!

[Sporran]

There was a young lad in Auld Reekie
Whose behaviour was always quite cheeky
One day while at school
He broke every rule
Now he's grounded at home for a weekie!

[Sporran]

There was a young woman from Ormlie
Who went on a daily walk norm'lly
She sauntered downtown
In a cute summer gown
And the lads all smiled at her warmly!