Limerick

[Sporran]

The hot, humid days over here
Are making me wilt, I fear
"The temp is too high!"
I say with a sigh
As hubby drinks down a cold beer

He asks if I'd fancy some wine
Says I, "That sounds divine!"
"It would be very nice
In a tall glass with ice
That would suit me just perfectly fine!"

[Invisible]

A man went into a cafe
And decided to have a laugh-e
Put banana skin on the floor
The waitress skidded into the door
And then he went back to his coffee

[raymac]

When out with my darling shopping
Between woolies boots and reids we'll be hopping
Up and down every isle
just makes me feel vile
This activity I'll surely be dropping

[Sporran]

My husband likes to shop for tools
While I'd rather look at fine jewels
Pretty stones I adore
Those tools are a bore
But hubby thinks they are so cool!

[raymac]

a wifie that's got a sore head

from lying to long in her bed

woke at one o'clock with a fright

cos it was day and not night

did not get up just turned over instead

[trinkie]

A lassie who just turned over
Dreamt she lay in a bed of clover
Well, it’s not very nice
If your crispies of rice
Are all soggy, and don’t Crackle moreover

[trinkie]

I lay in my bed one fine morning
Just as the day was a-dawning
My fella - good looking-
Had started the cooking
With bacon he sure has a calling.

The eggs he has fried to perfection
Yolk runny, delightful delection!
I dip in my toast
Pardon me if I boast,
It sure does enhance my complexion.

The mushrooms are cooked in some butter
The taste of it all makes me flutter
You’ve spotted I’m sure
I’m a real epicure
‘This is good’ I manage to utter.

The tray is now taken away
And down on the pillow I lay
My head, Oh so happy
My handsome old chappie
The dishes he'll do sans delay.

Much later, I really must rise
Rub the sleep from my eyes
But I haven’t a hunch
What he’ll cook for my lunch
I await my culinary surprise .

[raymac]

craig was giving some lip
so kate gave him a nip
if he tries it once more
he'll be lying on the floor
cos becky's going to give him a hit.

[trinkie]

Now Craig don’t do that again
Your causing poor Becky much pain
If Kate goes to nip
Just give her the slip
Then kiss and be good friends again.J

[trinkie]

I remember so fondly, my dad
In his youth a most handsome lad
His games and his joking
How I wished he’d stop smoking
For life now without him is sad.

[Sporran]

Be proud of your own dear old dad
He's there for you in good times and bad
Supportive and giving
He works hard for a living
A good man to look up to - your dad.

[Sporran]

The photos taken by North Light
Are such a visual delight
They're a treat to the eye
We cannot deny
They're a truly wonderful sight!

And then there are the pics by Dellwak
With his new camera, he's got the knack
He takes pics of Germanee
For the likes of you and me
They're so beautiful, I want to go back!

[trinkie]

There once was a lassie called Cyd
Dancing with style ‘s what she did
With Astaire and Gene Kelly
On big screen and telly
No one could beat her – our kid !

[Sporran]

Cyd Charisse was stunning and danced with grace
She had a beautiful body and face
With Fred and Gene
She stole the scene
Now she's with them in a Heavenly place.

[Sporran]

There's a young lad fae Thurso called Lyle
He plays guitar with fabulous style
His talent he can't disguise
On TV he won a prize
His guitar riffs really do beguile!

[Sporran]

I love the photography forum
So picturesque and never borin'
Photos of land and sea
Fill me with so much glee
Castles and flowers - I adore 'em!

The pics of all creatures great and small
A source of enjoyment to us all
Whether animal that's wild
Or a favourite pet of child
They certainly manage to enthrall!

[Sporran]

I've got to hand it to "jockplastic"
His old photos are fantastic
He posts a superb pick
Of Thurso and Wick
Time to go, before I get bombastic!

[Sporran]

Percy asks where we'd like to migrate
What place do you think is first rate?
Would it be far away
Or somewhere in UK?
Are you happy within your own gate?

[trinkie]

A lad who once kept us amused
With his pictures of Thurso’s great views !
The stories he told of the new and the old
Helped many who were rather confused.

The history he knew of the place
He’d put a name to many a face
Old streets and locations – your faither’s relations
He’d tell ye with style and with grace.

We welcome ye back Thirsaloon
It’s so good to have ye aroon
We hope you have more of the scenes we adore
Of your lovely old quaint Thurso Toon !

from a Weeker !!

[Sporran]

Welcome back Thirsaloon, long lost pal
Ye've bin missed too by this Caithness gal
Lookin' forward til mair photies
O' aald Thirsa scenes an' folkies
An' 'e stories aboot them that enthraal!