Limerick

[Sporran]

One leap year a woman proposed
To her man as he quietly dozed
"Yes dear" he said
Half asleep in his bed
But he wished he'd said "No" when he rose!

[Anne x]

He Rose up and said !!
what is this within my head
what was her question I did answer
feed the cows or tend the sheep ?
I did not know in one fair Leap
what this year meant to Man or Boy
now reap the cost of what I have sowed !!

[Sporran]

A limerick has five lines
With each other, one, two and five rhyme
Three and four are short
And just for good sport
Together they rhyme every time.

[Sporran]

Is March madness a thing that exists?
If it does can it ever be fixed?
Does it come with the wind?
And can it be binned?
It's a matter that has me perplixed!

[golach]

A limerick has five lines
With each other, one, two and five rhyme
Three and four are short
And just for good sport
Together they rhyme every time.

Ooh have we got the Limerick polis here now Sporran?

[Sporran]

Yes, and you should see how good I look in my uniform, golach!

Actually, I was trying to be helpful by explaining some of the main rules of limerick writing. Just want to keep our budding poets on track!

[Sporran]

There wis a mannie in Auld Reekie
He wis born in Thurso, no Weekie
Golach wis his name
O' nearby Scrabster fame
Hope he comes back here til tak' a peekie!

[trinkie]

There was an ould wifie fa’s muse
Sank to the depths o’ her shoes
So hard did she try
With a tear in her eye
But her muse did refuse to carouse.

‘Oh fit can I do to amuse ?’
Said the wifie wi’ things in her shoes
So off to the shop
With a limp and a hop
Not meaning t’others to confuse.

‘Can I help ?’ Said the maid in the shop
As she saw how the wifie did hop,
‘There’s a muse in my shoes –
I wish to abuse’
Then she fell to the floor with a flop !

The maid in the shop got a scare
An ran to get a nice chair
But the wifie refused
The maid unamused
Said ‘Get stuffed – see if I care!’

by Trinkie (sadly )

[golach]

There wis a mannie in Auld Reekie
He wis born in Thurso, no Weekie
Golach wis his name
O' nearby Scrabster fame
Hope he comes back here til tak' a peekie!

Sporran
I hed a wee look, just a wee peek,
and then scarpered queek

[honey]

not as good as the others, but heres my go....

er is a wee site in e net
wher a few crazy fowlk i hev met
But if am feelin a bit lo
an missind good ol Thurso
they rally roond till make sure i dont fret..

[Sporran]

There wis a mannie in Auld Reekie
He wis born in Thurso, no Weekie
Golach wis his name
O' nearby Scrabster fame
Hope he comes back here til tak' a peekie!

Sporran
I hed a wee look, just a wee peek,
and then scarpered queek

Och come back here, golach, mate! I think I see a bit o' the poet in ye!

[Sporran]

Well done, Trinkie! That's a super 4 verse limerick you wrote, and it really a-mused me!

Honey, nice to see you joining in too.

[golach]

Och come back here, golach, mate! I think I see a bit o' the poet in ye!

Spooran, nae chance is Golach's cry
your invitation I must give a bye
because of all the talent that posts here I am shy
I am no poet Sporran, and weel I know it.

[trinkie]

There was a young laddie who thought
His words were less than they ought.
But it’s not in the Bad
And it’s not in the Good
But the Trying that we all should.





Keep at it !

[Sporran]

Golach, we're glad to hear from you,
What dear Trinkie says is true.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained,
And as she has explained,
Every effort's worth a view!

[trinkie]

A generous lad Oh so bountiful
Shared his knowledge and jokes Oh so wonderful
Is he one of a kind? Hey do you mind ?
In Caithness of such we’ve a County-full !!

[trinkie]

A lassie whose voice did delight
A concert hall night after night
From Brahms to Liszt
A quaint little twist
Was construed with all of her might.

She sang while doing her shoppin’
Whether Bach or Mr Chopin
Ye can’t hold a candle
To her singing of Handel
An encore is what we are hopin’.

In church it’s hymns and psalms
The trill notes she crams and crams
Her voice is vibrating
Such an undertaking
Then the Meenister hands roon ‘e drams .

She sings while scrubbing the floor
Doesn’t hear the knock at the door
It’s a strange little man
With a big black van
Now need I say any more ??

[Sporran]

Trinkie's lim'ricks are such a treat
Her four verses just can't be beat
The wifie's right clever
With ev'ry endeavour
She does a great job - they're so neat!

[2little2late]

There was a young cruiser from Wick
He really was very thick.
He went for a cruise
With a neck full of booze
and ended up in the nick.

[trinkie]

To Cedric who made me blush,
If I tell you – will you keep it hush hush ?
My folks think I’m mad
A wee bittie sad,
I get carried away in the rush.

There is something I’d like to endorse
My scribblings could be much,much worse
When I pick up a pen
I never know when
To stop, or consider remorse !

I think I must blame my dad
He too - and this makes me glad-
Had an ode or a sonnet
Beneath is tweed bonnet
And drove all around him quite mad !

But now I am too old to change
Instead I will widen my range
I’ve purchased a Note Pad
For my next anec-dote fad
And fill it with verses so strange !