There was an ould wifie fae Croxter
Who ran fae a sheepie 'at boxed her
If it wisna for tinks
'At were crossin' ai Links
She'd be blue fae her heels till her Oxter !!
There was an ould wifie fae Croxter
Who ran fae a sheepie 'at boxed her
If it wisna for tinks
'At were crossin' ai Links
She'd be blue fae her heels till her Oxter !!
Thanks for starting this thread, trinkie! I love limericks!! Here's one I've just made up aboot masel'!
There wis a young lassie fae Thurso
Who married a Yankee some years ago
He then whisked her away
Fae that toon by the bay
An' noo she's a lang way hame til go!
Last edited by Sporran; 21-Jul-07 at 03:52.
I am living for today, always remembering yesterday, and looking forward to tomorrow!
There wis an ould mannie fae Week
Got so drounk that he hardly could speak
When he got hame til bed
His ould wife she saw red
So he slept in 'e dowg hoose all week!
I am living for today, always remembering yesterday, and looking forward to tomorrow!
There wis a young laddie fae Haster
Who choost couldna run ony faster
He put on roller skates
An' o'er took his young mates
An' waved at his mam as he passed her!
I am living for today, always remembering yesterday, and looking forward to tomorrow!
A long legged lassie from Reay
Got on her bike one fine day
With all of her will
she pedalled until
She landed up in Dounreay....Hoo-ray !
Last edited by trinkie; 20-Jul-07 at 07:54. Reason: error
A strange little lassie from Week
With a nose just like that of a Peke
Got on the bus
And made such a fuss
When she thought she wis goin' till be seek !
There once wis a wifie fae Keiss
Whose bairns widna gie her some peace
She packed up her beach bag
As she puffed on a fag
Then she wheeched the bairns all off till Reiss!
I am living for today, always remembering yesterday, and looking forward to tomorrow!
There once wis a mannie fae Forss
Who rode into Thurso by horse
Dobbin sped to a gallop
Chiel fell doon wi' a wallop
Wis he sair? Yes indeed, aye of course!
I am living for today, always remembering yesterday, and looking forward to tomorrow!
There wis a young groom fae Glengolly
Whose beautiful bride wis named Molly
They got married in June
Then went on honeymoon
And the very next year wis born Polly!
Last edited by Sporran; 21-Jul-07 at 03:56.
I am living for today, always remembering yesterday, and looking forward to tomorrow!
That silver-haired man from the Org
Got lost one dark night in the forg
He'd forgotten his key
Then stumbled, and he
Tripped over his shaggy-haired dorg.
An Arty-farty from Lyth
Whose drawings were usually nythe
But I nearly fainted
When I saw what she'd painted -
A Bowl of Red Goo and some Rythe !
That venerable Old Man of Hoy
One day when only a boy
Stood out in the water
Though he knew he didn't oughter
Then stayed, for the birds to enjoy.
There was an ould mannie fae Milton
Who went out one day wi' his kilt on
The kep on his heed
Was pure Harris Tweed
His slippers, the finest Wilton.
Last edited by trinkie; 21-Jul-07 at 16:00. Reason: spelling
A strange little man from Dunbeath
Had only two or three teeth
When asked how he ate
he replied 'I lick my plate
and catch all the bits underneath.'
There was a young man from Clyth
Who cut off his toe with a scythe
To the doc he did hobble
Without ne’er a wobble
And now he is merry and blythe.
There was an old woman of Forss
Near pensionable age of course
She cleared out a press
Got in a terrible mess
And now she is full of remorse.
There once was a little white doggie
Fell in love with an old tabby moggie
The tabby let fly
Nearly took out her eye
Now doggie’s decidedly groggy.
There was an old man called Tubthumper
Who drove into his neighbour's bumper
It wasn't a joke
The car was all broke
He had to get Speedy's to dump 'er
Guess who's back...
Working On Behalf Of The Community!
There was an owld mannie from Dunnet
Who loved to wear his best bunnet
One day in the wind
His bunnet god binned
An' he searched and he searched 'til he funnet
A man went into a cafe
And decided to have a laugh-e
Put banana skin on the floor
The waitress skidded into the door
And then he went back to his coffee
I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore
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