Limerick

[trinkie]

There was an ould wifie fae Croxter
Who ran fae a sheepie 'at boxed her
If it wisna for tinks
'At were crossin' ai Links
She'd be blue fae her heels till her Oxter !!

[Sporran]

Thanks for starting this thread, trinkie! I love limericks!! Here's one I've just made up aboot masel'!

There wis a young lassie fae Thurso
Who married a Yankee some years ago
He then whisked her away
Fae that toon by the bay
An' noo she's a lang way hame til go!

[Sporran]

There wis an ould mannie fae Week
Got so drounk that he hardly could speak
When he got hame til bed
His ould wife she saw red
So he slept in 'e dowg hoose all week!

[Sporran]

There wis a young laddie fae Haster
Who choost couldna run ony faster
He put on roller skates
An' o'er took his young mates
An' waved at his mam as he passed her!

[trinkie]

A long legged lassie from Reay
Got on her bike one fine day
With all of her will
she pedalled until
She landed up in Dounreay....Hoo-ray !

[trinkie]

That silver-haired man from the Org
Got lost one dark night in the forg
He'd forgotten his key
Then stumbled, and he
Tripped over his shaggy-haired dorg.

[trinkie]

A strange little lassie from Week
With a nose just like that of a Peke
Got on the bus
And made such a fuss
When she thought she wis goin' till be seek !

[trinkie]

An Arty-farty from Lyth
Whose drawings were usually nythe
But I nearly fainted
When I saw what she'd painted -
A Bowl of Red Goo and some Rythe !

[Sporran]

There once wis a wifie fae Keiss
Whose bairns widna gie her some peace
She packed up her beach bag
As she puffed on a fag
Then she wheeched the bairns all off till Reiss!

[Sporran]

There once wis a mannie fae Forss
Who rode into Thurso by horse
Dobbin sped to a gallop
Chiel fell doon wi' a wallop
Wis he sair? Yes indeed, aye of course!

[Sporran]

There wis a young groom fae Glengolly
Whose beautiful bride wis named Molly
They got married in June
Then went on honeymoon
And the very next year wis born Polly!

[trinkie]

A poor ould mannie fae Watten
Went oot in the sun - hat forgotten
His head turned bright red
So he went till his bed
Wi me - and sheets of soft cotton.

[trinkie]

A smart young lady from Dunnet
Was fond of wearing a Bunnet
She'd one with a rose
But it tickled her nose
So she stuck some daisies upon it.

[Sporran]

There once lived an artist in Paris
Who sported a beard like Rolf Harris
His name was Lautrec
Not born in Quebec
And he painted a woman named Alice.

[trinkie]

That venerable Old Man of Hoy
One day when only a boy
Stood out in the water
Though he knew he didn't oughter
Then stayed, for the birds to enjoy.

[trinkie]

There was an ould mannie fae Milton
Who went out one day wi' his kilt on
The kep on his heed
Was pure Harris Tweed
His slippers, the finest Wilton.

[trinkie]

A strange little man from Dunbeath
Had only two or three teeth
When asked how he ate
he replied 'I lick my plate
and catch all the bits underneath.'

[Lavenderblue2]

There was a young man from Clyth
Who cut off his toe with a scythe
To the doc he did hobble
Without ne’er a wobble
And now he is merry and blythe.

[Lavenderblue2]

There was an old woman of Forss
Near pensionable age of course
She cleared out a press
Got in a terrible mess
And now she is full of remorse.

[Lavenderblue2]

There once was a little white doggie
Fell in love with an old tabby moggie
The tabby let fly
Nearly took out her eye
Now doggie’s decidedly groggy.