Sorry but it just does not add up,
A mathematics teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of maths instruction.
'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.'
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'.
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, 'If God had wanted us to have better weapons of maths instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes..'
White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow.
Sorry but it just does not add up,
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.
Edgar Allen Poe
Hopefully they get to the root of the issue, and said terrorist group doesn't multiply. After some prison time I'm sure the man will integrate back in to society.
I shall be telling this with a sigh, somewhere ages and ages hence. Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. - Robert Frost
It is to my shame that I have to admit to being a member of Al-Gebra back in my school days.
I quit after a couple of weeks though - there were too many radicals, and I just couldn't understand the point.
"It makes my blood burn with metal energy..."
I've got a slide rule somewhere, d'you think I can hand it in under a weapons amnesty?
I'm think about getting a new abacus but will it be considered a weapon of mass calculation?
I remember being at school when calculators first appeared and promised to be the answer to all maths solutions.
Sadly was proven wrong when our Maths teacher had a severe bout of constipation - and had to go back to basics and work it out using a pencil and paper......
Don't just say it - do it!!!
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