Dunnet Bay (may be sung to the tune of Galway Bay)

[Tubthumper]

Dunnet Bay
(may be sung to the tune of Galway Bay)

Loose threads of fog hang ghostly o’er the strandline
An oystercatcher screeches overhead
We pick our way between dog-turds like landmines
Walk gingerly past something not long dead

To stroll along the beach reminds us why we live right here
The power of Atlantic, with bold Dunnet Head severe
And though the weather’s grim and there are midges on the wing
We feel our hearts are rising and we feel we’ve got to siiiiing….

Dunnet Bay, Oh bonny Dunnet Bay
Fishboxes lying on the shore
There are nappies, bottles, dead dogs, tampons
Oil cans, nets, old beds and condoms
Living jellyfish and something like a large hay-bale
Fishing nets galore and what looks like a rotting whale
Dunnet Bay, Oh bonny Dunnet Bay
We love to take a walk round Dunnet Bay

The rubbish on the beach adds to the piquancy of air
It doesn’t really matter, wear your wellies if you dare
Or clad yourself in wetsuit, with your buttocks clenched in tight
Then run straight in the water, but prepare to get a friiiight….

Dunnet Bay, Oh bonny Dunnet Bay
Fishboxes lying on the shore
There are nappies, bottles, dead dogs, tampons
Oil cans, nets, old beds and condoms
Living jellyfish and something like a large hay-bale
Fishing nets galore and what looks like a rotting whale
Dunnet Bay, Oh bonny Dunnet Bay
We love to take a walk round Dunnet Bay

The beach would like the benefit of cleaning if you please
Remove the piles of clag and that odd smell of aged cheese
But look, a gang who’re game to scrub the beach I hear them say
On Friday June the 8th, a beach-clean by staff at Dounreaaaaaay…..

Dunnet Bay, Oh bonny Dunnet Bay
Clean sand lying on the shore
There are happy birds and seals
And no more rotting old car-wheels
The fishing nets have gone and though the whale is lying still
He’s had a little polish and so now he just looks ill
Dunnet Bay, Oh bonny Dunnet Bay
We love to take a walk round Dunnet Bay

[Tubthumper]

It's come to my attention that I'm living in the past
And so I've made amendments to this sweet wee song at last
While I was stuck in wintertime and quoted February
I should have said it was in June they'll do the beach-clean spree

Dunnet Bay, Oh bonny Dunnet Bay
Dounreay workers on the shore
There are monitors and office staff, some are bright and some quite daft
Lifting all the rubbish and the fishing nets with eeeeease
Polishing whale carcass with some Dettol if you pleeeeaaaasse-ah
Dunnet Bay, Oh bonny Dunnet Bay
We're picking up the cr*p from Dunnet Bay

Friday June 8th, alright?