i am actually thinking of using the telephone on on my voicemail.


I dialled a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep.If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."
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( I LOVE THIS ONE!) My wife and I had words, But I didn't get to use mine.
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Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
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The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.
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God made man before woman...........so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.
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I was always taught to respect my elders. But it keeps getting harder to find one.
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A woman asks a man who is traveling with six children, "Are all these kids yours?" The man replies, "No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints".
Nominated as the best short joke this year...
A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?" "Not yet," she replied.