Just announced - discovery of new element

[j4bberw0ck]

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element has been named "Governmentium". Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75 assistant neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no protons or electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years.

It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time since each organisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

[JAWS]

That is the most accurate definition I had seen in many years!

[JimH]

Can you get an ology in it??

[ywindythesecond]

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element has been named "Governmentium". Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75 assistant neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no protons or electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years.






It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time since each organisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Brillig Jabberwock!!

[KittyMay]

This is pure conjecture - there are gaping holes in this theory. Where is the scientific consensus? (First class!!)

[pat]

Many thanks for making me laugh late on a Sunday night, so accurate.

[Angela]

Just saw this now -spot on and very funny.

Bravo jw0ck!

[_Ju_]

Excellent! Now I find I understand political science alot better

[Sandra]

This is excellent, certainly made me laugh

[cuddlepop]

Brought a smile to my face and lightened my mood.

[johno]

hope you hav,nt signed the official secrets act.
they wont like this leaked out lol

[Kenn]

Clever and very funny..I like it!