Did I read that sign right?


"TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW"


In a Laundromat:


AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT


In a London department store:


BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS


In an office:


WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN


In an office:


AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD


Outside a secondhand shop:


WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?


Notice in health food shop window:


CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS


Spotted in a safari park:


ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR


Seen during a conference:


FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR


Notice in a farmer's field:


THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.


Message on a leaflet:


IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS


On a repair shop door:


WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)


Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter


This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.


Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says


Really? Ya think?


Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers


Now that's taking things a bit far!


Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over


What a guy!


Miners Refuse to Work after Death


No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!


Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant


See if that works any better than a fair trial!


War Dims Hope for Peace


I can see where it might have that effect!


If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile


Ya think?!


Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures


Who would have thought!


Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide


They may be on to something!


Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges


You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?


New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group


Weren't they fat enough?!


Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft


That's what he gets for eating those beans!


Kids Make Nutritious Snacks


Do they taste like chicken?


Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors


Boy, are they tall!


And the winner is....


Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead