Ode to Mama Pig!

[fifilabelle]

Ode to “Big Mama”


The local village known as Reay
is giving press a lot to say
Its residents are all in shock
A murderer has run amok

The public, though, has ‘nowt to fear
no need to buy protective gear
The target wasn’t you or I
but something found inside a sty

Yes, we’re talking pink AND big
and known by all as “Mama Pig”
a rusty trailer isn’t great
for any pig to meet its fate

But die she did, this breeding sow
the questions are just Who? and How?
Did someone from the butcher’s shop
decide that “Mama’s” for the chop?

Suspects made a motley crew
Her pony pals called Pip and Blue
Did either one decide to slash her?
Hoping for a tasty rasher

Perhaps a crazed, psychotic sheep
caused Mama Pig’s eternal sleep
or jealous hogs with mighty sword
just ran her through to claim reward

We just don’t know, we never will
so in the words of Benny Hill........................

“Mama” was only 25(stone), she didn’t want to die
and now she’s just ‘cooked breakfast’ for that deep-freeze in the sky
where the customers are angels and ferocious ‘wogs’ are banned
and a piggy’s life is full of fun in that fairy-dairy land
but a piggy’s brain remembers so Mama hatched a plan
she’d haunt who was responsible for turning her to spam
was that the trees ‘a rustling or the ‘inges of the gate
or Mama’s ghostly gammon a sizzlin’ on the plate

They won’t forget Mama! MaaaaaaMaaaaaa
and she gave the best of bacon in the West

The End

[mi16]

Well done

[Tubthumper]

Superb! Mama pig is immortalised!

[Dogsrcool]

Poor Mama Pig - what a way to be remembered. But what budding poets and story writers we have - perhaps you should all get together and write them all down and have a good launching session.

[special tartan]

Could do better.

[mi16]

Could do better.

Feel free to try

[Dogsrcool]

Is that a bit of racism in the poem? Ferocious 'wogs'?

[fifilabelle]

Is that a bit of racism in the poem? Ferocious 'wogs'?

Not at all, its a pun on the original Benny Hill song...."ferocious dogs" and refers to the previous owner of said pig.

[Dogsrcool]

So glad I don't live in Reay - sounds like a sad place to live if people make up poems and stories when something horrible happens to animals.

[Westward]

Not at all, its a pun on the original Benny Hill song...."ferocious dogs" and refers to the previous owner of said pig.

Excuse me, but who was the previous owner?

[dodo]

with all due to (portgower) is the any comparison to the on going discussion???

[special tartan]

Westward , the pig only ever had two owners .

[Westward]

Westward , the pig only ever had two owners .

Yes, that is right.

[camor]

So glad I don't live in Reay - sounds like a sad place to live if people make up poems and stories when something horrible happens to animals.

Seem to know a lot about Reay and the people if you don't live there!!

[camor]

fifilabelle, excellent work.

[special tartan]

camor , you seem very dogmatic in your replies .

[camor]

camor , you seem very dogmatic in your replies .

Dogmatic no, I am not the only one to enjoy a bit of poetry. Only expressing an opinion on a piece of written work.

[special tartan]

Expressing opinion is one of the freedoms we can all still enjoy .

[Bobinovich]

Expressing opinion is one of the freedoms we can all still enjoy .

Tell that to Tangerine Dream!!

[special tartan]

There is a massive difference between expressing opinion and expressing intent .