a chinese hotel brochure. was a real brochure . not a joke.

[jacko]

A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious. She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed. Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English……….


Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

The hotel:
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.

The Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

Your Room:
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.

Bed
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

Above all:
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it."

[DunnetKnowe]

And you would do better translating into Chinese would you. How patronising having a snigger at 'foreigners'.

[mi16]

And you would do better translating into Chinese would you. How patronising having a snigger at 'foreigners'.

Lighten up bud, you are a serial grumbler.

[Alrock]

And you would do better translating into Chinese would you. How patronising having a snigger at 'foreigners'.

& this from one of the most patronising posters of recent (see the council house thread)....

Besides, I don't see it as patronising, just having a laugh at this hotels lack of understanding that a brochure like this should have been translated properly by someone who actually spoke the language & understood it.

[jacko]

Lighten up bud, you are a serial grumbler.

agreed .

yep some folk have to have something to moan about. just cant see the fun side of thing s.

[DunnetKnowe]

(see the council house thread)

And you were quick to excuse yourself from that when you were found to be spouting rubbish.

[orkneycadian]

- Its almost too wrong to be right. The brochure wording, that is....

[shazzap]

I thought it was funny.

[Tilly Teckel]

Way to spoil a funny thread!

My fave 'lost in translation' was the Pepsi ad from years back: in English it said "Pepsi; the New Generation"; translated from Chinese it became "Pepsi; brings your ancestors back from the dead".

[jacko]

Way to spoil a funny thread!

My fave 'lost in translation' was the Pepsi ad from years back: in English it said "Pepsi; the New Generation"; translated from Chinese it became "Pepsi; brings your ancestors back from the dead".

lol, i found that funny also.

[billmoseley]

great made me chuckle

[Iffy]

Thanks for sharing that jacko ! Today, I really needed a smile !

[joxville]

And you would do better translating into Chinese would you. How patronising having a snigger at 'foreigners'.

Oh, the irony!

[jacko]

And you would do better translating into Chinese would you. How patronising having a snigger at 'foreigners'.

if i had to translate, yes i think i would do better actually. i would aproach someone fluent in that language and ask for their help.
then i would get it confirmed before i had it published .

but it s still a fun thing on here . and should be taken as just that. ps. im glad i dont have to carry the chip you have on your shoulder

[joxville]

Thanks Jacko, it made me laugh, and that's from someone who's had a sense of humour bypass ;-)

[billmoseley]

一个中国酒店小册子。是一个真正的小册子。不是闹着玩的。
一位朋友最近去了北京，并给予这本小册子由酒店。这是宝贵的。她保持它，阅读它，每当她情绪低落。很显然， 它已直接翻译，字一个字从普通话英语..........




乘车路线：
我们的代表将让你在机场等候​​。巴士到酒店沿着湖边。不久，你会感到高兴在通水。你会知道你越来越近的酒 店，因为你会发疯。基金经理将等待着你在入口大厅。他总是试图与所有新客人性交。


酒店：
这是一个家庭旅馆，所以孩子们都非常欢迎。当然，我们总是欣然接受通奸。高度熟练的护士在晚上放下你的孩子 。欢迎客人在酒吧灵活运用自己暴露给别人。但是请注意，女士们不允许有婴儿在酒吧。我们组织社交游戏，所以 从来没有客人单独留在家中自我和他们一起玩。


餐厅：
我们的菜单都经过了精挑细选，普通平平无奇。晚餐时，我们的四重奏桌到桌分发，摆弄你。


你的房间：
每间客房均拥有一流的设施，为你的私处。在冬季，每个房间都热。每个房间都有一个阳台，可欣赏优秀淫秽！你 不会被交通噪音的干扰，酒店和湖之间的道路以来仅用于pederasts的。


床
按照当地传统，已经取得了你的床。如果您有任何其他想法，请环女仆。请趁她。她会很高兴壁球恤，衬衫和内衣 。如果问，她也将挤压你的裤子。


总之：
当你离开我们你的假期结束时，您将没有希望。你将很难忘记它。“
there we go translated back lolol. feel free to check for spelling mistakes lololol

[joxville]

感谢法案，它让我笑 :-)

[DunnetKnowe]

feel free to check for spelling mistakes

Unreadable due to fundamental error - it's in Mandarin; they only speak Cantonese in that area.

[billmoseley]

i did it in simple Chinese just for you DunnetKnowe. Jox your welcome

[wavy davy]

Unreadable due to fundamental error - it's in Mandarin; they only speak Cantonese in that area.

Cantonese in Beijing - not the last time I was there.