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Thread: Adam & Eve eventually

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    8,203

    Default Adam & Eve eventually

    God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for me".
    Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?"
    God said, "Go down into that valley."
    Adam said, "What's a valley?"
    God explained it to him.
    Then God said, "Cross the river."
    Adam said, "What's a river?" !
    God explained that to him, and then said, "Go over to the hill......."
    Adam said, "What is a hill?"
    So, God explained to Adam what a hill was.
    He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave"
    Adam said, "What's a cave?"
    ! After God explained, he said, "In the cave you will
    find a Woman."
    Adam said, "What's a woman?"
    So God explained that to him, too.
    Then, God said, "I want you to reproduce."
    Adam said, "How do I do that?"
    God first said (under his breath), "Geez....." !
    And then, just like everything else, God explained
    that to Adam, as well.

    So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river,
    and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman.

    Then, in about five minutes, he was back.
    God, his patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What
    is it now?"

    And Adam said

    *

    *

    "What's a headache"?
    Once the original Grumpy Owld Man but alas no more

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Wick
    Posts
    3,335

    Default

    Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to God's kids. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was, "Don't."

    "Don't what?" Adam replied. "Don't eat the forbidden fruit," God said. Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve...we got forbidden fruit!"

    "No way!"

    "Way!"

    "Don't eat that fruit!" said God.

    "Why?"

    "Because I am your Father and I said so!" said God (wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants). A few minutes later God saw his kids having an apple break and was angry. "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

    "Uh huh, " Adam replied.

    "Then why did you?"

    "I dunno" Eve answered.

    "She started it!" Adam said.

    "Did not!"

    "Did too!"

    "DID NOT!"

    Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. If God had trouble handling children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Wick
    Posts
    3,335

    Default

    A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
    "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
    "What have you got there, dear?" His mother asked.
    With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!"

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