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Thread: Miscellaneous - Idiot Olympic Questions

  1. #1

    Default Miscellaneous - Idiot Olympic Questions

    Here are some of the classic questions that were asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee via their Web site, and answers supplied where appropriate.

    Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)

    A: Upwards, out of the ground, like the person who asked this question, who themselves will need watering if their IQ drops
    any lower...

    Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)

    A: Depends on how much beer you've consumed...


    Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)

    A: Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in Sydney.

    Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)

    A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, so you'll need to have started about a year ago to get there in time for this October...

    Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
    A: And accomplish what?


    Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)

    A: I'm not touching this one...


    Q: My client wants to take a steel pooper-scooper into Australia. Will you let her in? (South Africa)

    A: Why? We do have toilet paper here...


    Q: Are there any ATMs in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)


    Q: Where can I learn underwater welding in Australia? (Portugal)


    Q: Do the camels in Australia have one hump or two? (UK)


    Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)

    A: Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest of us...


    Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)

    A: No. Everybody stinks.


    Q: Do tents exist in Australia? (Germany)

    A: Yes, but only in sporting supply stores, peoples' garages, and most national parks...


    Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)

    A: This HAS to have been asked by a blonde...


    Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

    A: Yes. Gay nightclubs.


    Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
    A: Yes. At Christmas.


    Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (Germany)

    A: Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious.


    Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)

    A: Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when you get here.


    Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)

    A: What's this guy smoking, and where do I get some?


    Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

    A: Another blonde?


    Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)

    A: I love this one...there are no rattlesnakes in Australia.


    Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)

    A: Face North and you should be about right.


    Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

    A: Americans have long had considerable trouble distinguishing between Austria and Australia.


    Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)


    Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)

    A: From Liz Taylor, perhaps?


    Q: Are there places in Australia where you can make love outdoors? (Italy)

    A: Yes. Outdoors.


    Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help?
    (USA)


    Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

    A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.


    "A family tree can wither if nobody tends it's roots"

  2. #2
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    LOL Kingetter. There is some funny ?'s out there & loads of funny people that ask them.

  3. #3

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    So right - just look at some of the TV commentators eh?


    "A family tree can wither if nobody tends it's roots"

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    I've always wondered how Australians don't fall off the Earth - especially when they do the pole vault.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiger Jones View Post
    I've always wondered how Australians don't fall off the Earth - especially when they do the pole vault.

    I wonder if they have similar sorts of thoughts about Northern Hemisphere dwellers disappearing up to er - maybe cant mention the H word.


    "A family tree can wither if nobody tends it's roots"

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