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Thread: Visit to the Doctor

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  1. #1

    Default Visit to the Doctor

    I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive
    lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.

    A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him,
    "Do you think I'll live to be 90?"


    He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?"

    "Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either."



    Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

    I said, "No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"


    "Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"



    "No, I don't," I said.


    He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

    "No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."

    He looked at me and said, "Then, why do you give a damn?"



    "A family tree can wither if nobody tends it's roots"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    Wick
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    Default

    Good one Kingetter

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
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    Default Old couple visit the doctors

    An old couple go to the doctor. The old man goes first to have his physical. When the doctor is done with him, he sends the old man back into the waiting room and calls the old woman in.

    The doctor tells her, "Before we proceed with the examination, I would like to talk to you about your husband first."

    The old woman says, "Oh, no, it's his heart. I told him to lay off the eggs."

    The doctor says, "Well, I asked your husband how he is feeling and he told me he felt great. He said that when he got up to go to the bathroom, he opened the door and God turned the light on for him. When he was done, he would shut the door and God would turn the light out for him."

    The old woman responded, "Damn it, he's peeing in the fridge again!"

  4. #4

    Default

    An 'oldie' but a 'goldie' Angela.


    "A family tree can wither if nobody tends it's roots"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Wick
    Posts
    3,335

    Default

    A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.
    "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.
    "You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman.
    "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."
    The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Owe, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ouch, even THAT hurts", she cried.
    The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis; "You have a broken finger."

  6. #6

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by angela5 View Post
    A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.
    "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.
    "You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman.
    "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."
    The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Owe, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ouch, even THAT hurts", she cried.
    The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis; "You have a broken finger."
    Yup! That's a:-
    2nd letter of alphabet,12th,15th,14th,5th (if I've counted right - my abacus is being defragged). Mustn't mention B jokes, right?


    "A family tree can wither if nobody tends it's roots"

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