Sonnets

**Gleber2** · 26-Sep-06, 15:22

On Love is the second Italian sonnet I have posted from my own collection. Are there no others trying this very difficult sonnet form. You will note that I have used two different rhyme schemes for the second, six line stanza.
Come on, give it a bash!!!!!

**Sporran** · 26-Sep-06, 18:06

Originally Posted by Gleber2

On Love is the second Italian sonnet I have posted from my own collection. Are there no others trying this very difficult sonnet form. You will note that I have used two different rhyme schemes for the second, six line stanza.
Come on, give it a bash!!!!!

Gleber2, I love your "On Love" sonnet, it is brilliant! I have enjoyed all your sonnets - you are the Bard o' Dunnet Heid!

I will have a go at writing an Italian sonnet masel' , but it will take me a wee whilie to come up with something. Folks, here are the rules for Italian sonnets and other types.

**Gleber2** · 26-Sep-06, 18:42

Originally Posted by Sporran

Gleber2, I love your "On Love" sonnet, it is brilliant! I have enjoyed all your sonnets - you are the Bard o' Dunnet Heid!

I will have a go at writing an Italian sonnet masel' , but it will take me a wee whilie to come up with something. Folks, here are the rules for Italian sonnets and other types.

An excellent link which says it all. I love the sonnets of Drayton. Twas he who set me off.

**canuck** · 26-Sep-06, 22:57

Originally Posted by Gleber2

On Love is the second Italian sonnet I have posted from my own collection. Are there no others trying this very difficult sonnet form. You will note that I have used two different rhyme schemes for the second, six line stanza.
Come on, give it a bash!!!!!

Be patient. You have a collection. We have to start from scratch.

I appreciate the link, but I need confirmation from the person marking my project that I have the rhyme scheme to his liking. So, we are after ABBA ABBA CDECDE?

Trinkie, I think that we can do this!

**Gleber2** · 27-Sep-06, 00:29

Originally Posted by canuck

Be patient. You have a collection. We have to start from scratch.

I appreciate the link, but I need confirmation from the person marking my project that I have the rhyme scheme to his liking. So, we are after ABBA ABBA CDECDE?

Trinkie, I think that we can do this!

Yes, one pattern among several and it will do for a start. I will have to start writing some new ones for you. Watch this space.

**canuck** · 27-Sep-06, 04:48

The Italian rhyme scheme is a bit of a challenge!
In my first attempt I discovered that it really doesn't lend itself to things Biblical. I decided that it must be a poetic form for expressing love and things romantic. So, in following the pattern set by Saveman in his excellent piece on Infatuation and teacher's own reflection on Love, I have written about my first born child whose birthday we celebrate next week. In my first line I have borrowed a few words from Saveman setting the tone of infatuation, growing into love and finally parenthood.

A Birthday Approaches

Friendship blessed with soul’s soft song to sing
Love flowing strong within the lives of two,
Motherhood its dance began gently, through
The days and nights of one unsuspecting.
At first it was a shock that God should spring
Life anew where one had not been planned,
But God does that within a scheme so grand
The season turns to time of nurturing.

The child-to-be brought joy to every heart.
Days grew long as due date passed us by.
Then came the rush of doctor, nurses, son.
The cries of life linger, the pains depart.
Now with the years the dance steps seem to fly.
Mother watches, an adult life begun.

**trinkie** · 27-Sep-06, 08:00

Some beautiful words here. Well done everybody.

Canuck I love yours, it touched something in me, the mother part no doubt. I hope your son has a great birthday next week.

I am finding it very difficult. It is not coming naturally.

I'll have another go before 'going public'

Trinkie

**Gleber2** · 27-Sep-06, 13:29

Originally Posted by canuck

A Birthday Approaches

A friendship blessed with soul’s song to sing
Love flowing strong within the lives of two,
Motherhood its dance began gently, through
The days and nights of one unsuspecting.
At first it was a shock that God should spring
A new life where one had not been planned,
But God does that within a scheme so grand
The season turns to time of nurturing.

The child-to-be brought joy to every heart.
Days grew long as due date passed us by.
Then came the rush of doctor, nurses, son.
The cries of life linger, the pains depart.
Now with the years the dance steps seem to fly.
Mother watches, an adult life begun.

A fair first, Canuck. The sentiment beautiful and the rhyme fine. However the metre is not always right. In line one 'souls' and 'song are accented which is not right. Insert 'soft' betwee the two words and the line then scans. Line six starts with an accent. 'Life anew' would scan. On first look that's all I would suggest. The are a couple of more clumsy lines which skirt the boundaries of Iambic pentameter but can't make up my mind if they are right or wrong. Keep up the good work!!!

On Family.

I walked so long alone throughout this life,
Until my son was born before my eyes,
And with his birth, for me and my dear wife,
Time was dictated by his infant cries.

And when two years had passed as if on wings,
My second son arrived to bless my home,
We had no time to waste on other things,
I had no longer a desire to roam.

My life was full. I could not ask for more,
But then the sweetest little girl was born,
Who stole my heart and taught me to adore,
And made me love the life I once had scorned.

My family now complete, I am content,
Regretting not the way my life was spent.

A father's sentiment in answer to your mother's feelings, Canuck

**canuck** · 27-Sep-06, 14:05

Thanks. I've made the changes.

"On Familty" is real, so very real.

**phoenix** · 27-Sep-06, 14:12

Originally Posted by Gleber2

A fair first, Canuck. The sentiment beautiful and the rhyme fine. However the metre is not always right. In line one 'souls' and 'song are accented which is not right. Insert 'soft' betwee the two words and the line then scans. Line six starts with an accent. 'Life anew' would scan. On first look that's all I would suggest. The are a couple of more clumsy lines which skirt the boundaries of Iambic pentameter but can't make up my mind if they are right or wrong. Keep up the good work!!!

On Family.

I walked so long alone throughout this life,
Until my son was born before my eyes,
And with his birth, for me and my dear wife,
Time was dictated by his infant cries.

And when two years had passed as if on wings,
My second son arrived to bless my home,
We had no time to waste on other things,
I had no longer a desire to roam.

My life was full. I could not ask for more,
But then the sweetest little girl was born,
Who stole my heart and taught me to adore,
And made me love the life I once had scorned.

My family now complete, I am content,
Regretting not the way my life was spent.

A father's sentiment in answer to your mother's feelings, Canuck

Nice one Gleber2! Liked that very much!

**Sporran** · 27-Sep-06, 18:53

Canuck and Gleber2, your latest heartfelt sonnets are beautiful!

**Saveman** · 28-Sep-06, 16:59

On A Departure

I owned a boat of silver blue with sail,
Around the bay in freshening winds to go,
And when the sky was dark and wind would blow,
Alive I’d feel and live inside the gale,
Inspired I’d feel and want to tell the tale,
Of all the wonders that my eyes could know,
Of secrets held in darkening nights below,
The stars of heaven and the moon so pale.

Till then one night when wind was but a sigh,
The sail it left me, drifting to a stand,
I cast my eyes to heaven way up high,
And saw a shooting star against the sky,
As if by winds in space propelled and fanned,
I left my boat behind and said goodbye

**Gleber2** · 28-Sep-06, 17:04

Nice one Saveman.!!

**Saveman** · 28-Sep-06, 17:07

Thank you......it's a different discipline for that one, a very interesting exercise, thanks for introducing it to me!

**canuck** · 28-Sep-06, 17:27

You have mastered it well. The poem is beautiful.

**Gleber2** · 28-Sep-06, 17:58

Originally Posted by Saveman

Thank you......it's a different discipline for that one, a very interesting exercise, thanks for introducing it to me!

Try the alternative rhyme scheme for your next one. See the earlier post about sonnets from Sporran. There are several alternatives.

**Sporran** · 28-Sep-06, 18:56

Saveman, your sonnet is superb! Well done!

**Kenn** · 28-Sep-06, 22:26

I sat and gazed across the stormy bay,
The sea so angry shakes it's spumey mane,
The wind so cold it seems to pierce my brain.
My face and hands turned raw by salty spray.
The lowering clouds now turn to shades of grey
And as the darkness falls my eyes I strain
To pierce the growing darkness all in vain,
For night has come and driven off the day.

Now nothing can I see but still I hear
The thundrous roar of surf upon the sand,
The of piping call of seabirds as they sheer
Along the cliffs , above the waves they veer.
And with them now I soar above the land.
Spirit freed,no more the night I'll fear.

Ok .ok gleber2 I just know you are about to make mince meat of this!