Sonnets

[trinkie]

Pheonix , That was so moving. really lovely, thank you.
I dont know if it was technically correct either - I am completely lost and confused in all of this de da de da de da de da , but I am so enjoying it.
Now - On With the Show, Gleber 2 , you were saying ? something about Milton...
We are waiting, please continue.

[Gleber2]

Phoenix, I won't rain on your past-life witches parade. As a poem it is lovely but it is not a sonnet. This of course does not matter. Quite a talent for Haiku and other forms you seem to be developing. Keep it up. I hope this post doesn't sound patronising. I am really enjoying watching the poems come together and hope that, sometime in the future, we can compile an Anthology of Org Poetry.

Canuck , in previous posts, gave us two of Milton's best known sonnets in a form that is much more difficult to write than the Elizabethan.

[phoenix]

Phoenix, I won't rain on your past-life witches parade. As a poem it is lovely but it is not a sonnet. This of course does not matter. Quite a talent for Haiku and other forms you seem to be developing. Keep it up. I hope This post doesn't sound patronising. I am really enjoying watching the poems come together and hope that, sometime in the future, we can compile an Anthology of Org Poetry.

Canuck , in previous posts, gave us two of Milton's best known sonnets in a form that is much more difficult to write than tha Elizabethan.

Thankyou Sir! My doctor did tell me years ago when the bairns were little Id be good at poetry, I thought he was mad! Its been locked away in a wee cupboard all this time waiting for someone to come along with a key. BTW everytime I see you come in at my back after Ive posted something I shudder and think whats he going to say now, I slowly scroll down and look with one eye ......its worse than school! And its not my past-life Ive no fear of fire {although I do often get the smell of wood burning} must be somebody else out there or a memory floating around from the past! :}

Brilliant idea about the Anthology of Org poetry!

Forgot to say thanks Trinkie!:}

[Sporran]

Here's my first sonnet - I hope I got it right!


Summer's End

As summer shines its last warmth upon us
We remember the happiness it brought
Days at the beach, carefree and fabulous
Sand castles, paddling and watching the yachts.

Now autumn's cool fingers wave to us all
Beckoning us to wear jacket or coat
The leaves will change colour, next they will fall
And Halloween guisers sweet treats will tote.

Snowy winter days follow at year's end
Pristine snowflakes fall like feathers from sky
The joy of Christmas, the parcels we send
Gifts tied with ribbon, toy, trinket or tie.

The new year dawns after the old one sets
For auld lang syne, a cup o' kindness yet!

[Gleber2]

Sporran, the length, the rhyme was fine but the meter(metre?) is a bit not right. Liked the sentiment. Remember, unaccented accented, five times.

[Sporran]

Glad you liked the sentiment, G2! I thought that the ten syllables in each of my lines were the equivalent of five iambic feet. But evidently that is not the case, so I will keep on trying!

[trinkie]

Golden Glories
by Christina Rossetti

The buttercup is like a golden cup
The marigold is like a golden frill
The daisy with a golden eye looks up
And golden spreads the flag beside the rill
And gay and golden nods the daffodil
The gorsy common swells a golden sea
The cowslip hangs a head of golden tips
And golden drips the honey which the bee
Sucks from sweet hearts of flowers and stores and sips.

I rather think this is not a Sonnet, I think it has the right meter but
no couplet.
Please can you explain the difference G2?

[loo-b-loo]

Surrounded by nature I look at the sea,
I feel the cold breeze, chilling my core,
Watching the waves, it always moves me,
The scene always changes, never like before.

As the tide comes in, and moves up the sand,
I walk slower so the sea splashes my feet,
I feel close to nature, part of the land,
No-one around, no-one to greet.

Another hour gone and still I can’t leave,
No-one to see, alone on this land,
The sea gives me space, room to breath,
My tears can run down and melt in the sand.

Yet from the sea you gain new spirit, a new strength
To have it near you, you’d go to any length.


Not sure if I stuck to the rules?

[phoenix]

Deep underground in Amethyst Cave
There lives an Old Man who's set in his ways
He lives in the past much of the time
And never will listen to Old Father Time.

His day has come now, no more shall he reign
When the sun will eclipse on Amethyst Cave
The Moon she'll be new when all is revealed
And the Old Man shall die, end of his time.

Theres an Old Woman too who will not give in
But this time she will have to go with the sun
And when the Moons full and the New way has come
All will be happy with their new lives re-born.

The Old Ways must go now no more of the same
When changes they come they are born out of pain.

[Kenn]

Where Pentland's emerald waters swell,
Blue Orkney frames an azure sky,
A story weird I have to tell.
Did my dazzled eyes witness a lie?

Upon the dry stone wall a cat is dozing,
Butterflies like jewels flashing by,
Sweet honeyed clover perfume wafting
As fulmars silent updraft lifted fly.

The camera's posed the shutter set to fast.
The moment captured like a passing dream.
The image trapped,for ever it will last
Though silenced is the falcon's scream.

Now the picture's processed, images unseen
Swirl wraith like 'cross the grass so green.

[Gleber2]

Golden Glories
by Christina Rossetti

The buttercup is like a golden cup
The marigold is like a golden frill
The daisy with a golden eye looks up
And golden spreads the flag beside the rill
And gay and golden nods the daffodil
The gorsy common swells a golden sea
The cowslip hangs a head of golden tips
And golden drips the honey which the bee
Sucks from sweet hearts of flowers and stores and sips.

I rather think this is not a Sonnet, I think it has the right meter but
no couplet.
Please can you explain the difference G2?

This is not a sonnet although it has aspects in common with a sonnet. It has an ABABBCDCD and is in Iambic pentameter but it only has nine lines. I don't know the technical term for a nine line poem which is quite unusual.

[Gleber2]

All of the sonnets and attempted sonnets in this thread have been encouragingly good and some have been excellent. However, the biggest problem seems to be the Iambic pentameter.

Since there's no hope come let us kiss and part
u l u l u l u l u l


The u is an unaccented sylable where as the l is accented.

The second line of this sonnet is:

Nae I have done you get no more of me. This line scans exactly like the first line Each line must start with an unaccented sylable and end with an accented sylable. Any other rhythm might be good poetry but not good sonnet.

[Gleber2]

Where Pentland's emerald waters swell,
Blue Orkney frames an azure sky,
A story weird I have to tell.
Did my dazzled eyes witness a lie?

Upon the dry stone wall a cat is dozing,
Butterflies like jewels flashing by,
Sweet honeyed clover perfume wafting
As fulmars silent updraft lifted fly.

The camera's posed the shutter set to fast.
The moment captured like a passing dream.
The image trapped,for ever it will last
Though silenced is the falcon's scream.

Now the picture's processed, images unseen
Swirl wraith like 'cross the grass so green.

I cannot tell what vision here was seen
What passing spirit lingered long enough
To be so clearly etched upon the screen
An image written clear in mist like fluff.

Now it could be a giant spectral owl
Perhaps the figure of an ancient God
With beak wide open just about to howl
In Egypt or on distant Andean sod.

Perhaps a flash of light accross the lens
Has caused the camera to record this sight
Thus says the sceptic Gleeber's Commonsense
And who can tell, the doubter could be right.

A flash of light, a spirit or a ghost
Who knows what lurks around the Caithness coast .

Lizz, maybe you should post the image for all to see?

[gleeber]

Wow, what a thread. It must be one of the all time classic threads on
Caithness.org. It had everything from birth to death with a bit of snarling thrown in for good measure.
For some reason I dont allow myself to appreciate poetry but I can see how cool it is.

[Kenn]

Hey gleeber why don't you give this poetry a try? You are erudite enough and I am sure you have pen and paper.You have a keen eye for your surroundings and a more than whimsical attitude to life, you'd be a natural!

[Kenn]

Have posted the photo that sparked all the controversy onto the photo thread so you can all see what gleber2 and me are wittering on about.

[canuck]

I saw the photo last night and I think that my first response was the same as gleeber's. But I am also prepared to accept that it was a ghost.

[Saveman]

On A Lasting Infatuation


Her voice so tender in the night of life,
Shines like the sun upon my darkened day,
I talk to her to feel the cold dark knife,
Of lonely days fade to gray, fly away.

Her hair is like the sun at dawn when storms,
Are coming to the land to soak the earth,
And like the healing that the rain performs,
My soul renews again in joyous birth.

Don’t let me lose fair nature’s gift of song,
Or watch the distant clouds invade the sky,
Her life is precious and her heart is strong,
And in her smile away my troubles fly.

Oh fair red blossom rose with petals fine,
What miracle could ever make you mine?

[Gleber2]

Fine stuff!!! The fourth line doesn't scan very well, days and fade both accented. Apart from that I really like this sonnet.

[Gleber2]

On Love.


When poets write of love, what do they mean,
This one small word can mean a million things,
From unrequited pain to wedding rings,
So many different things that come between.
To some the tree of love is evergreen,
The hearts of some who love forever sing,
And revel in the hope that true love brings,
Together, hand in hand, to live love's dream.


For some the path is dark and leads to pain,
Exquisite pain forever to be borne,
And in that hurt is nothing left to gain,
And he or she, once loved, becomes love's bane,
The line twixt hate and love forever torn,
And no-one in the end can take the blame.