A Blonde Joke!!!

[angela5]

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island.

For years, they live there, and one day they find a magic lamp.

They rub it, and sure enough, out comes a genie. The genie says "since I can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one."

So the brunette goes first, "I have been stuck here for years, I miss my family and my husband and my life - I just want to go home."

POOF, she is gone.

The redhead makes her wish, "This place sucks, I want to go home too."

POOF, she is gone.

The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.

The genie asks, "What is the matter?"

The blonde said, "I wish my friends were here."

[Piglet]

What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.


What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

[angela5]

A blonde goes for a job interview in an office.

The interviewer starts with the basics.

"So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?"

The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying. "Um ... 22."

The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice.

"And can you tell us your height, please?"

The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag.

She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, "Five foot two!"

This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics, something that she won't have to count, measure, or lookup.

"Just to confirm for our records, your name please?"

The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about fifteen seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, "Cindy!"

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, "What were you doing when I asked you your name?"

"Oh, that!" replies the blonde," I was just running through that song, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear...'"

[willowbankbear]

Q. How does a Blondes braincells die?
A. Alone

[angela5]

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas.

With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting:

"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!"

[connieb19]

I want to be judged for my personality. Plenty of redheads and brunettes aren't intelligent aswell you know.

This is the funniest thing I have read on the org in a long long time lol..

[Piglet]

Why are there no dumb brunettes?
Peroxide.

[krieve]

Q. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

[krieve]

Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. You can't, they have always been like that.

[George Brims]

htwood wrote:
UK has best system, there is no mistaking 999!

Nowadays it's good - but on the old rotary dialling phones your house could burn down while you were trying to dial it!

[Dusty]

A blonde dials 911 and says "My house is on fire, please hurry up".
The dispatcher says "What is your address"?
The blonde replies "I don't know, I just moved in last week"
The dispatcher says "Well how do we get there"?
The blonde replies "Duh, in the big red engine thingy".

[angela5]

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.

The doctor asked her "What happened?"

She answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to your other ear?"

"The person called back."

[Piglet]

There was 3 girls on the run being chased by cops, they went in a barn and hid in 3 seperate potato bags.

The cops picked up the 1st bag and the auburn says "meow meow".
The cops said there's nothing in this bag except kittens they picked up the 2nd one and the brunette says, "woof woof" The cops say there's nothing but puppys in this bag they picked up the 3rd one and the blonde says, "THERE"S NO-ONE IN HERE!"

[gothlife420]

this one killed at wickhighschool well to everyone that heard it here it go's

blondes wake up in the morning and pour themselve a big glass of orange juice and sit there and stare at it u know y



" its says concentrate on the box"

[angela5]

this one killed at wickhighschool well to everyone that heard it here it go's

blondes wake up in the morning and pour themselve a big glass of orange juice and sit there and stare at it u know y



" its says concentrate on the box"

gothlife420, welcome to the org, nice to see your first post was a blonde joke.

[Piglet]

congrats gothlife420.

A young man marrying a redhead asked his father for some marital advice. The father said, "Just remind her who wears the pants in your family." The evening arrived, the new husband tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here put these on." She did and said "I don't fit into these." "That's right!" he said, "and don't you forget who wears the pants in this family!"

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He looked at them and said, "I can't get into your panties!" She said, "That's right - and you won't until your attitude changes!"

[gothlife420]

gothlife420, welcome to the org, nice to see your first post was a blonde joke.

thanku i always wanted my first something to be blonde lol hey i just made another blonde joke on eh spot there lol

[Billy Boy]

Q. Did you hear about the blonde man who had 8 vasectomies?
A. He had to -- his wife kept getting pregnant!

[Tickle]

Q: Why do blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.

[golach]

A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde passenger that she paid for Economy and that she will have to go and sit in the back.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!"

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she is only entitled to an economy place and she will have to leave and return to her original seat.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I' m staying right here!"

Exasperated the co-pilot tells the pilot that it was no use and that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen to reason. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this, I'm married to a blonde, and I speak blonde!"

He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says "Oh, I'm sorry - I had no idea," gets up and moves back to her seat in the economy section.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

The Pilot replied "I told her First Class isn't going to Melbourne ".