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Thread: A Blonde Joke!!!

  1. #1
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    Exclamation A Blonde Joke!!!

    Engineers Patrick and Seamus ( Dublin mechanical engineers
    were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

    A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

    We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Patrick
    "but we don't have a ladder."

    The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts,
    and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her
    pocket, took a measurement, announced, 5 metres, and walked
    away.

    Seamus shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a blonde!
    We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"



    Revenge of the blondes.....

  2. #2
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    Q: How do you tell if a bleach blonde did your landscaping?
    A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

  3. #3
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    A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

  4. #4
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    Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk.

    When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order.

    Gloria came to the door, and Alan said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"

    Gloria said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."

    Alan asked, "Oh, alright, would you like it pasteurized?"

    Gloria replied, "No, just up to my waist."


  5. #5
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    Q: How did the blonde burn her ear?
    A: The phone rang while she was ironing.

    Q: There are 17 blondes standing outside a disco but why couldn't they get in?
    A: The sign said "must be 18 to enter".

    Q: What do you call 24 blondes in a cardboard box?
    A: A case of empties.

  6. #6
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    How do you know when a blonde has been using a computer?

    Correction fluid on the VDU!!!!!!!

  7. #7
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    Angry Blonde joke

    Er, actually my joke was in favour of blondes; deliberately! (Hope there are no Irishmen looking in, lol!)

  8. #8
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    dont know many blond jokes, but i know an irish one.

    paddy was on a 4 engine plane, when suddenly there was a bang. the captain says over the anouncer, "ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has stopped. we are able to continue flying, but we will be 20minutes late"

    10 mintues later there was another bang, and the captain was on the anouncer again, "ladies and gentlemen, our second engine has gone, but we are able to continue flying. however, we will be 1hour late"

    another 10 minutes pass. the captain again on the anouncer, " ladies and gentlemen, our third enigine has gone. however we are still able to fly. we will be 2 hours late though."

    after this anouncment, paddy turn to the guy beside him, taps him on the shoulder, and says, "if the fourth goes, we'll be up 'ere all nite..."
    "We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance, and wealth with happiness. We are monkeys with money and guns." ~ Tom Waits


  9. #9
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    It's ironic that you post a joke in favour of blondes and you get people right away posting jokes against blondes, they just can't resist to do it. It's quite sad really that in the 21st Century people are still being judged by colour, and something so meaningless as hair colour too. These jokes are not funny to me having been bullied at school and called Barbie for years for being blonde. I want to be judged for my personality. Plenty of redheads and brunettes aren't intelligent aswell you know. The blonde stereotype is an unproven theory, made up decades ago by the media who love to label people. I hear comments about blondes day in day out by bitchy and malicious women who seem to hate blondes and love they have the stereotype to use against us. And men who are chauvinists and want to feel intellectually superior are bad for it too. The people who are small minded enough to believe and partake in this rubbish are the stupid ones - believing hair colour defines your intelligence and personality?!
    Last edited by RockChick84; 11-Sep-06 at 09:15. Reason: Added more to what originally wrote
    Blonde is a hair colour, not a personality trait (Unless you're half the users on this board...)

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by RockChick84 View Post
    It's ironic that you post a joke in favour of blondes and you get people right away posting jokes against blondes, they just can't resist to do it. It's quite sad really that in the 21st Century people are still being judged by colour, and something so meaningless as hair colour too. These jokes are not funny to me having been bullied at school and called Barbie for years for being blonde. I want to be judged for my personality. Plenty of redheads and brunettes aren't intelligent aswell you know. The blonde stereotype is an unproven theory, made up decades ago by the media who love to label people. I hear comments about blondes day in day out by bitchy and malicious women who seem to hate blondes and love they have the stereotype to use against us. And men who are chauvinists and want to feel intellectually superior are bad for it too. The people who are small minded enough to believe and partake in this rubbish are the stupid ones - believing hair colour defines your intelligence and personality?!


    As a blonde, I have no objections to blonde jokes. We have to have humour in the world - all jokes have to be aimed at someone.

    You don't mention that the initial joke was derrogitory to Irish people!?

    A world without humour would be a world full of sadness.

  11. #11
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    I would have to agree with henry.(Even tho im not a blonde)
    But hey lets get back to the jokes.

    Q. What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
    A. Invisible.

    Q. What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
    A. A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.


    Last edited by Piglet; 11-Sep-06 at 10:14.

  12. #12
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    I would have to agree with henry.
    but hey, let's get back to the jokes.


    Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
    A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.

    Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: "What's a lightbulb?"

  13. #13
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    There was a blonde and a brunette walking down the street and the brunette said oh look a dead bird and the blonde looks up.

  14. #14
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    How does a redhead change a light bulb?
    She doesn't, she bitches until someone else does.

    What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
    Normal


  15. #15
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    How do you get a redhead to argue with you?
    Say something.

    How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
    Wait 10 seconds.

  16. #16
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    Why is brunette considered an evil color?
    When was the last time you saw a blonde witch!

  17. #17

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    [quote=RockChick84;133004]

    21st Century
    The people who are small minded enough to believe and partake in this rubbish are the stupid ones - believing hair colour defines your intelligence and personality?!

    That's right, it's the 21st century.
    These jokes made me laugh, they've been around for ages.
    Here's mine.

    Two blondes are walking down the road, when one says, "Look at that dog with one eye!"

    The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, "Where?"

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by RockChick84 View Post
    It's ironic that you post a joke in favour of blondes and you get people right away posting jokes against blondes, they just can't resist to do it. It's quite sad really that in the 21st Century people are still being judged by colour, and something so meaningless as hair colour too. These jokes are not funny to me having been bullied at school and called Barbie for years for being blonde. I want to be judged for my personality. Plenty of redheads and brunettes aren't intelligent aswell you know. The blonde stereotype is an unproven theory, made up decades ago by the media who love to label people. I hear comments about blondes day in day out by bitchy and malicious women who seem to hate blondes and love they have the stereotype to use against us. And men who are chauvinists and want to feel intellectually superior are bad for it too. The people who are small minded enough to believe and partake in this rubbish are the stupid ones - believing hair colour defines your intelligence and personality?!
    lol get a grip,i would say your getting a bit paranoid about the blonde thing,it's called a JOKE if your so against these joke's why did you come and look at a thread called a" blonde joke",i dont see you in ranting in other joke threads or is it you are just "paranoid" i suggest you get some help lol,ps stop sending me ranting pm's about blonde joke's unless there good lol

  19. #19
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    I find it disappointing if RockChick84 has been sending ranting PM's to Mr & Mrs BB.

    Jokes are jokes - not aimed at certain people.

    If you have to voice your feelings about jokes being in bad taste - it should be done on the forum - as you already have done RockChick84.

    Have you never found a joke funny?

    I don't believe that people stereotype blondes in the way you feel they do. There are blonde jokes - always will be, but no-one is naiive enough to think that all blondes have the same traits.

    Why take things so personally?
    Last edited by henry20; 11-Sep-06 at 17:04. Reason: changed a phrase

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr & Mrs Billy Boy View Post
    lol get a grip,i would say your getting a bit paranoid about the blonde thing,it's called a JOKE if your so against these joke's why did you come and look at a thread called a" blonde joke",i dont see you in ranting in other joke threads or is it you are just "paranoid" i suggest you get some help lol,ps stop sending me ranting pm's about blonde joke's unless there good lol
    Haha rotflmao, funniest thing ive read all day

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