Despair

[Kenn]

Just number me among the dead,
No more of life with all it's dread
Take away all I have and all I know,
Let me mindless onward go.
For if I cannot think or feel
Then no offence can I commit, intended or unreal.

To come so far along the way
To only take my senses all away.
This the only answer to me seems,
For if I have no sense, I have no dreams.
But if I cannot do, cannot decide,
Then it was better that I died.

And if in death emotion is all killed,
Why then the floods of tears I spilled?
For if a mind is like an empty room,
There is no seat for gloom.
No place for beauty,joy and sadness,
No place in which to entertain this madness.

So number me among the dead,
For I will banish all that's in my head.
I will be hurt and hurt no more
For I will shut and bolt the door.
Then throw away the only key
And I will be no longer me.

[Kingetter]

Lizz, thank you for a worthwhile contribution. It makes me want to know more. In my thoughts, I'm asking why?
Care to comment? please?

[changilass]

Very moving Liz

[cuddlepop]

Liz,that was very real.As a carer ifelt i could relate to it but also in a previous relationship experienced very similar thoughts.
very poinient.

[badger]

I suppose most of us have been there at some time but been unable to find expression for it. If it's real for you now Lizz, I hope not for long.

[Kenn]

Thank you all for your comments.
This was written when a friend of mine was trying desperately to come to terms with the suicide of her brother many years ago.
I thought it might still have some merit and meaning to others that have experienced deep distress.