Re: Just in passing

[dpw39]

“Man is born free", said Rousseau, "but everywhere he is in chains". The tragedy of man's eternal bondage, which prompted the French philosopher to utter these words, started with an act of God himself, when He created Eve out of a rib of Adam, placed her in front of him and said, "Go and choose thy wife". In recent times, God seems to have delegated his powers to Eve who now decides everything on behalf on Adam.

The other day at a wedding, as the priest asked the bride if she accepted the groom as her husband, she said, "I do". When a similar question was put to the groom, she promptly replied, " Yes, he does".

Yet, it remains a fact that all men are not slaves; some are bachelors also. Those who are lucky in love, remain bachelors, realising that it is better to have loved and lost than to do homework with three children. The ordinary mortal among the men, however, keeps on chasing a woman till she catches him and becomes his WIFE, which is nothing but a euphemistic abbreviation for 'Worries Invited For Ever'. It is indeed a pity that while a woman takes to make a man of her son, another woman makes a fool of him in 20 minutes and hooks him for a husband.

Ideally speaking, all marriages are happy. It is the living together afterwards that causes all the trouble. Before marriage, a girl gets into her fiancé's wallet as a photo, but after marriage she gets into the wallet herself. As a result, marital life becomes a matter of wife and debt. I know of a friend who didn't report the theft of his credit card to the police for the simple reason that the thief was spending much less than his wife. Unfortunately, such marriages are doomed to end in divorce. As he looses his capital, she loses her interest.

Yet, there are husbands who profit immensely from their marriage. Their wives, generally speaking, are generally speaking. Quite often, such a husband undergoes considerable intellectual growth after his marriage, as his wife gives him a piece of her mind everyday. It is precisely for this reason that King Solomon, backed by his 100 wives, was considered the wisest man on earth. Sure enough, he gave them the best ears of his life.

The essence of marital wisdom lies in the realisation that women are always smarter than men: they have figures to prove it.

Therefore, any man who thinks that he is smarter than his wife would indeed be married to a smart woman. Wise husbands discover quite early in their marital career that 'man' is only a part of 'woman', that every 'madam' has an 'Adam' in it, every 'she' has a 'he' in it and every 'lady' contains a 'lad' in it. Such realisations help a man graduate as a 'perfect husband' early in life, which in essence means developing a belief that one has got a 'perfect wife'.

[web research] Dave the Rave.

[Zael]

you want to stop smokin that waccy baccy dave, its starting to show.

[squidge]

<------------- this is a confused face. I posted this last night i think and it has gone - Why? who knows.

I simply posted a confused face because i was confused by dave's post. So i am still confused so here it is again



A bemused and doubly confused squidge.

[Colin Manson]

Squidge,

From the Rules section

posting rubbish posts (i.e. all smilies or posts that do not contribute to the thread).

Most forum users don't appreciate going to read a reply to a post only to find this one emoticon.

If you don't understand what the poster is saying then you should ask for clarification if you really want to understand their point.

[squidge]

Thanks for unexpectedly clarifying that Colin

I felt it was self explanatory as it was a confused smilie but i appreciate that maybe others did not find it as clear an emoticon as i thought it was.

However although i am - thankfully - no longer doubly confused i am still singly confused maybe Dpw39 would take a leaf out of your book.

<------------------------------ confused

[©Amethyst]

Dave, could you please explain what that was about?

[dpw39]

Is there no humour amongst us here, [and NO! Zael you need a better fly if you want me to rise to that insignificant remark...


WORDS WOMEN USE
*****************

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. If you ask what is wrong, and a woman responds with the word "Nothing"...beware! Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it…

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

Or could it have been a "bit to intelectual Squidge"

Ciao,

Dave the Rave

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the much needed laugh dpw39.Thats what I call funny LMSO

[squidge]

Or could it have been a "bit to intelectual Squidge"

No Dave it wasnt i just wasnt sure what you were trying to say with it now i am i am not confused any more and i like this last bit....

[JAWS]

dpw39, occasionally, very occasionally, take them flowers totally out of the blue.
Any questions, just say "I thought you might just like some, Dear." and slink off out of the way!

They'll drive themselves daft trying to work out what terrible sin you have committed that they have missed!

[tides of pentland firth]

Have you ever had a girl friend dave?

[Tristan]

Have you ever had a girl friend dave?

If he had, he would know better than to publish such things!

[Zael]

and NO! Zael you need a better fly if you want me to rise to that insignificant remark...

So sending 2 threatening PMs is not rising?

here's a few links so everyone can have a good laugh:

http://www.4to40.com/fastforward/ind..._manisbornfree

http://www..com/wordswomen.shtml

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=plagiarism

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=muppet (2nd entry)

Isn't the web fun :)

[dpw39]

do coffee and rabbits mix quite well then?

[dpw39]

[web research] Dave the Rave. not plagiarism

[squidge]

Hmmm Zael,

Im not sure why you posted those links - did you think that Dpw39 wrote that stuff himself? I never. Its pretty much the sort of stuff that would have been put on the JOKES board that used to be here. I just thought that Dave was sharing it with us for our amusement. I didnt think the first was WAS amusing particularly so I wasnt sure what he was trying to say with it but the second one made me smile. I doubt its really pagiarism for Dave to post this stuff here - i think you are being a little harsh to be honest.
I know sometimes there is a humour vaccuum here but Zael your posts make me suppose that either you two have a private joke going on which therefore makes it very rude of you - you should share!!!! Or you really dont like each other which is fine i guess, as long as you dont deteriorate into squabbling like apair of schoolchildren.

FinallyZael, I decided that you are actually Dpw39s Wife! I guess that Dave is a guy - cos he seems to be called Dave but i havent much idea whether a Zael is a guy or a girl so if you ARE his wife and this is your own marital squabblethen i suggest Zael your next post should read
"Fine" and should be followed by a "Deep Sigh" and Dpw39 you should take Jaws advice and buy Zael some flowers and make up.

[Zael]

LOL squidge, thats funny.

No not his wife, lol, he would be nicer to his wife I would hope.

BE WARNED, You can be easily traced! Big Brother is not just a reality game show, and I expect a full retraction of your statement and apology by personal email.

This is his example of not rising, lolololol. I would have quoted more but I really cant be bothered, it just makes me laugh that so much of what the man posts is ripped off from someone else, I would not mind if he would just post some thing like, found this and thought you might find it funny, but no. He tries to pass it off as his own.

Web Research? What is that supposed to mean? You go researching obscure websites to find something you think no one else will be able to find? Plagiarism is exactly right. I'm not saying that its not funny, its just not dave's.

:youvebeenflamedicon: :)

[tides of pentland firth]

You should write into the Groat, dave. You could be among such famous writers as Robert Shand and yon Mr Happy chiel.