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Thread: miracle toilet paper............joke

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    1,350

    Default miracle toilet paper............joke

    My wife came from the shower and stood in front of the mirror complaining to me that her breasts are too small..... Instead
    of characteristically telling her it's not so, I uncharacteristically came up with a suggestion.

    If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds." She got a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asked.
    "They will grow larger over a period of years," I replied.

    "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"
    Without missing a beat I said "Worked for your bum didn't it?"
    I am still alive, and with a great deal of therapy I may even walk soon.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    2,105

    Default

    TOILET PAPER A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper."Pardon me, sir," she says to the store manager, "but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?""Well," he replies pointing out one brand, "this is as soft as a baby's bum.It's 1.50 per roll." He grabs another and says, "This is nice and soft,strong but gentle, and it's 1.00 a roll." Pointing to the bottom shelf he tells her, "We call that our No Name brand, and it's 20 pence per roll.""Give me the No Name," she says.She comes back about a week later, seeks out the manager and says, "Hey!I've got a name for your No Name toilet paper. I call it John Wayne.""Why?" he asks."Because it's rough, it's tough and it don't take crap off anybody!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    1,350

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr & Mrs Billy Boy
    TOILET PAPER A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper."Pardon me, sir," she says to the store manager, "but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?""Well," he replies pointing out one brand, "this is as soft as a baby's bum.It's 1.50 per roll." He grabs another and says, "This is nice and soft,strong but gentle, and it's 1.00 a roll." Pointing to the bottom shelf he tells her, "We call that our No Name brand, and it's 20 pence per roll.""Give me the No Name," she says.She comes back about a week later, seeks out the manager and says, "Hey!I've got a name for your No Name toilet paper. I call it John Wayne.""Why?" he asks."Because it's rough, it's tough and it don't take crap off anybody!"
    .......

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    2,105

    Default Different Type of Farters

    Vain
    You love the smell of your own farts.

    Amiable
    You love the smell of other people's farts.

    Proud
    You think your farts are exceptionally fine.

    Shy
    You release silent farts and then blush.

    Impudent
    You boldly fart out loud and then laugh.

    Anti-Social
    When the need arises, you excuse yourself from the room and fart in private.

    Strategic
    You fart and then conceal it with loud coughing.

    Sadistic
    You fart in bed and then pull the cover up over your partner's head.

    Intellectual
    You can determine from the smell of any fart exactly what food item had been consumed.

    Athletic
    You fart at the slightest exertion.

    Miserable
    You would love to let one out, but you are unable to fart.

    Sensitive
    You fart and then start crying.

    Unfortunate
    You try really hard to fart, but you poop instead.

    Scientific
    You fart regularly but you're concerned about pollution.

    Nervous
    You stop in the middle of your fart.

    Honest
    You admit that you farted but offer good medical reasons.

    Dishonest
    You far and then blame the dog.

    Foolish
    You suppress your farts for hours.

    Thrifty
    You always keep a couple of good farts in reserve.

    which one are you

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