If chairs could talk what would they say,
Having to support our weight everyday,
A wet bum, a small fart causes a smell,
The chair would be chocking or going through hell

Then there's feet on the chair, a relaxed pose,
and piles of mail, no that's not where it goes
Then the pets hairs all cling to the seat
And cleaning afterwards is no easy feat

Chairs will pick up the gossip from the phone
and chairs will hear the arguments and moans
But who do the chairs turn to when their feeling down
an upholster can turn chair the frown around

Chairs have good savings down in their sides
Pounds, receipts and more can surprise
But a chair is for sitting and cuddling at times
Keeping the house's secrets inside.