Caithness Map :: Links to Site Map Paying too much for broadband? Move to PlusNet broadband and save£££s. Free setup now available - terms apply. PlusNet broadband.  
Results 1 to 18 of 18

Thread: Bad joke lol

  1. #1
    unicorn Guest

    Default Bad joke lol

    A man is driving along a highway
    and sees a rabbit jump out
    across the middle of the road.
    He swerves to avoid hitting it,
    but unfortunately
    the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.



    The driver,
    a sensitive man as well as an animal lover,
    pulls over and gets out to see
    what has become of the rabbit.



    Much to his dismay,
    the rabbit is dead.



    The driver feels so awful
    that he begins to cry.



    A beautiful blonde woman
    driving down the highway
    sees a man crying on the
    side of the road
    and pulls over.



    She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.



    "I feel terrible," !
    he explains,
    "I accidentally hit this rabbit
    and killed it."



    The blonde says,
    "Don't worry."



    She runs to her car
    and pulls out a spray can.



    She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit,
    bends down,
    and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.



    The rabbit jumps up,
    waves its paw at the two of them
    and hops off down the road.



    Ten feet away the rabbit stops,
    turns around and waves again,
    he hops down the road another 10 feet,
    turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves,
    and repeats this again and again and again,
    until he hops out of sight.



    The man is astonished.



    He runs over to the woman and demands,
    "What is in that can?
    What did you spray on that rabbit?"



    The woman turns the can around
    so that the man can read the label.



    It says..





    (Are you ready for this?)











    (Are you sure?)











    (This is bad!)











    (It's definitely a Blonde Joke!)











    (You know you could just click off
    and not read the punch line....)








    (You can still delete it)











    (You know you're gonna be sorry)











    (Last chance)











    (OK, here it is)










    It says,







    "Hair Spray -
    Restores life to dead hair,
    and adds permanent wave."

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Here, there and everywhere
    Posts
    1,425

    Default

    Brilliant - brightened up an otherwise pretty awful day!!!!!!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    wick
    Posts
    229

    Default

    Nice one Unicorn. I really liked it!!!!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Upper Gills, Caithness
    Posts
    82

    Wink bad joke,*L*

    you deserve what comes next!


    A vampire is out for the evening and has had a really good time,
    He's visited the local dark disco and with the strobes & music
    managed to pull and get his nourishment with no-one the wiser.

    As he walks home in good spirits, he thinks he hears someone following
    a quick turn and no-one there.

    A short distance further and something hits his shoulder,
    He spins round and there's a chicken leg.

    He carries on feeling a bit wary and bang,
    he spins again and there's a pork pie.

    on he goes really ticked off, he hears footsteps...
    so using his supernatural powers,
    gathers his cape and does the vanishing turn.

    As he re-appears he feels a sharp pain.
    looking down he see's a cocktail stick with a mini sausage
    sticking out of his heart.

    with his dying breath he ask's

    'Who are you?'



    (ok this is the revenge part)





    (are you sure you can cope?)






    Buffet, The Vampire slayer!
    Perserverence is the Key
    Searching Hazel,Campbell,Sutherland,Bremner,Calder,Gunn.
    Jacquie

  5. #5
    unicorn Guest

    Default

    ok that was worse than mine lol
    1 more, and no I am not anti-blonde, I am blonde.

    A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    a long time ago in a galaxy far away
    Posts
    817

    Default

    its worse they get unicorn. thou the first one had me in stitches.
    no amount of darkness can drive out darkness
    only light can do that.

  7. #7
    unicorn Guest

    Default

    Q: What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards?
    A: A receding hare line.

  8. #8

    Default

    Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit?



    It was an inn-grown hare!












    - -


    Don't wrestle with pigs, you just get all dirty and the pig enjoys it.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Wick,Caithness,Scotland,The World
    Posts
    2,269

    Default

    Why did the bald guy draw rabbits on his head?

    Because from a distance they looked like hares!!!
    Their coming to take me away.....haha-hee-hee-ho-ho

  10. #10

    Default

    Q: How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy?
    A: Eggsercise, particularly hareobics.
    Don't wrestle with pigs, you just get all dirty and the pig enjoys it.

  11. #11
    unicorn Guest

    Default

    Yours are worse than mine lol.....

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Wick,Caithness,Scotland,The World
    Posts
    2,269

    Default

    Two rabbits are discussing their love lives.The depressed one says,"mines not going great,the wife just bought a Rampant Human."
    Their coming to take me away.....haha-hee-hee-ho-ho

  13. #13

    Default

    Whats invisible and smells like carrots?
    Rabbit farts..lol
    Don't wrestle with pigs, you just get all dirty and the pig enjoys it.

  14. #14
    unicorn Guest

    Default

    What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a Spider?

    a Hare net!

  15. #15
    unicorn Guest

    Default

    Knock,knock. Who's there? Ether Ether who? Ether bunny.
    Knock, knock. Who's there? Stella Stella who? Stella nother ether bunny.
    Knock, knock. Who's there? Justin Justin who? Justin other Ether Bunny.
    Knock, knock. Who's there? Samoa Samoa who? Samoa Ether Bunnies.
    Knock, knock. Who's there? Beryl Beryl who? Beryl of ether bunnies.
    Knock, knock. Who's there? Dewey Dewey who? Dewey have to listen to any more ether bunny jokes?
    Knock, knock. Who's there? Consumption. Consumption who? Consumption be done about all these ether bunnies?

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Out of Caithness... sadly
    Posts
    2,773

    Default

    OK. Cop pulls over a speeding car and walks over to the driver's window. The driver, a blonde, winds down the window and asks what the problem is. The cop tells her that she was speeding and asks for her driving licence. The blonde fishes around in her bag for a while and then proudly pulls it out and hands it over. The cop opens it up and looks down. The cop looks up and apologises - "Sorry, I didn't realise you were a police woman too". She hands back the 'licence' and rides away on her motorbike. The blonde driver goes to pput the licence back in her back and realises that it was her compact mirror.
    "Step sideways, pause and study those around you. You will learn a great deal."

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Wicktopia
    Posts
    541

    Default

    Q: What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?

    A: Hot cross bunnies.
    The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea. ~Isak Dinesen

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Out of Caithness... sadly
    Posts
    2,773

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Elenna
    Q: What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?

    A: Hot cross bunnies.
    Dog! I had to chuckle at that one!
    "Step sideways, pause and study those around you. You will learn a great deal."

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •