Toilet humour

**pultneytooner** · 15-Jun-06, 22:26

**George Brims** · 15-Jun-06, 22:42

Hilarious!

**Angel Eyes** · 15-Jun-06, 22:46

At wis a cracker!!!

**Chillie** · 16-Jun-06, 01:22

Very Funny, is this true life experience or a joke.

**angela5** · 16-Jun-06, 14:34

**landmarker** · 16-Jun-06, 15:16

that's the funniest toilet gag I've heard since the legendary poem...

'here I sit broken hearted.
Paid my penny and only trumped.'

..was observed scrawled on a wall in Warrington c.1963.

**angela5** · 16-Jun-06, 15:33

A drunk man staggered into a Catholic church and sat down in a confession box, saying nothing.
The bewildered priest coughed to attract his attention, but still the man said nothing.
The priest then knocked on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally, the drunk replied, "No use knocking, mate, there's no paper in this one either."

**JAWS** · 16-Jun-06, 15:34

The one that sticks in my mind was in Windermere Railway Station Gents Toilet.
It read, "Follow this line!" with an arrow and a line going along to wall in front of the stalls and then on to the side wall where there was a note saying, "You Are Now Urinating On Your Left Foot!"
I refuse to comment on it's accuracy!

krieve · 16-Jun-06, 15:43

what women use duct tape for.

krieve · 16-Jun-06, 15:45

**angela5** · 16-Jun-06, 15:49

**connieb19** · 16-Jun-06, 16:08

I remember being in the pub one night, this woman had a bit too much to drink, anyway, she went to the toilet and came bak ranting and raving that someone had stolen her skirt. What she didnt realise was that was when she went to the toilet, she had pulled the skirt up, and it was around her waist and she as not amused when every-one in the bar was in stitches..

**melted_wellie** · 16-Jun-06, 16:20

Originally Posted by connieb19

I remember being in the pub one night, this woman had a bit too much to drink, anyway, she went to the toilet and came bak ranting and raving that someone had stolen her skirt. What she didnt realise was that was when she went to the toilet, she had pulled the skirt up, and it was around her waist and she as not amused when every-one in the bar was in stitches..

go on admit it,it was really you.

**Billy Boy** · 16-Jun-06, 18:09

**Billy Boy** · 16-Jun-06, 18:13

**George Brims** · 16-Jun-06, 18:41

Once there was a wee boy who lived in the country with his mum and dad. They weren't well off, and their toilet was a wee shack at the bottom of the garden, at the edge of the river. The little fellow, like all little boys, would get in trouble now and then, and would sometimes lie to get out of trouble.

One day his father confronted him. "Who pushed the outside loo in the river?" "Wasn't me" said the lad. "Look", said his dad, "I didn't do it, your mother didn't do it, and there are no other kids for miles. It must have been you, own up." "No, wasn't me" insisted the boy.

The father decided to try a different tack. "Do you remember the story of George Washington? He chopped down a cherry tree, and when his father asked him about it, he confessed straight away, saying he could not tell a lie. His father was so impressed by his honesty that he forgave him." "Hmm. In that case, yes, it was me"

The dad proceeded to put the boy over his knee and give him a thrashing. "Wait, wait" said the lad, "what about George Washington's father. He forgave him."

"Aye, but George Washington's father wasn't sitting in the cherry tree at the time"