Hello, a'bdy, and gid morneen til e all.

Jessie Banks is ma name. Am an 80-year-owld speenster and I live in ma wee crofty here in Mey. I hev decided to write a wee bloggy aboot my life and all eh hings me and wee dowgie Choppers get up til. I call eh dowg at because he's afil fond o a peece o meit. But hell, hev things no cheynged ower eh years here in Mey. Wance fill of hunners o cuzeens, crofts, and freens, Mey's no quite e same as hid used til be. Mercy, no. All iss incomers, weendmills, and eh loss o eh local post offece, has put me at a reicht low. Ham no as fit as I used til be, boy, but I can still dock eh neeps in eh hard frost, and I lek nuheen better than til listen til eh Barrock cowboy on eh wireless when I'm no playing eh bingo, eh lottery, or wakinn eh dowg doon Jocky's rod err.

Chist last week err I hed Graham Beggs come oot til put in iss hing called eh Internet but I canna fur eh life o me find oot how to pit hid on Page 101 fur eh news. Eh wee loonie that pit id in says Ceefax is now called eh Internet, but my wee dowgie didn't seem too enamored way what he said, either. Wance a got a had o it tho, it wez chist lek watter off a duckies back. Now I'm on til an online dating site and nixt week I'll be meeting some chill from Staxigoe at eh Mackay's hotel in Week for a drammy or two. I howp he's now a slounk, and I howp he's no efter a qweek jump, either, because by Christ I'll put im in his place. No til worry, tho, I've got my wee dowgie here til look efter me.

Wish me luck, and good health til e all!

Chessie.