My Friend .. Daft as a Brush.

[The Drunken Duck]

I have known him for a few years, he is a lovely guy, a really close friend and a real character, but he is a bit gullible, and to be quite honest he isnt going to be winning any Noble Prizes in the next few years. He is one of the most well liked guys I have ever met but he has this habit of coming out with things that just make us howl with laughter.

Just been out with him for a quick pint and while sitting at the bar we saw some kids outside with helium balloons and I commented that we should go get some, inhale it and phone up some other mates for a larf. He then asks why the balloons just float away and when I said it was because they were lighter than air he said "Ah. Because its the weight of the air that keeps us all stuck to the ground" and nodded knowingly. "No, thats gravity" says I and he comes back with "Yeah but thats what gravity is isnt it ??, the weight of all the air" ..

He thinks Sinn Fein is "that woman who sang that "Nothing Compares to You".

He once commented on a bright summer day that the sun "didnt look right" and had to be told that was because it was the moon. Ok we had had a few pints but how drunk do you have to be to mis-identify the sun ??

I once watched him try to make cheese on toast. In a toaster. And it took TWO attempts before he gave up and laid it on its side for the third. He has a perfectly good grill and his actions here actually kept me up that night through sheer confusion. I later found out that he reckoned that once the cheese "cooked" it naturally "stuck" to the bread.

He has only just started speaking to me again after seeing my PS3 up and running and being quite impressed. Anyone who has one knows if you hook it up to the internet either with an ethernet cable or wirelessly you can play online etc etc. While showing him the PS Store, PS Home, Life with Playstation and the built in browser and internet search he thought this was great. "So this is all done over the Internet ??" "Yes mate, over the net" says I "I access them through my Home Hub there", I am with BT. Found out later he went out and bought a PS3 but cancelled his current ISP contract (costing him money) and got a BT contract because he thought it was the BT Hub that sent all the goodies to the PS3 when they are actually built in. He still maintains that I misled him. Thats why I was having a pint with him, to say sorry for the money loss incurred by me "lying" to him.

While in the Pub another lad we know came in who has a wicked sense of humour. He has somehow convinced our friend, over the last week or so, that "Save the Children" are an anti paedophile vigilante group and they urgently need his £3 a month to finance their crusade.

Anyone else have mates like this, or am I just specially blessed ??

[joxville]

Tell your mate the word 'gullible' isn't in the dictionary, he'll look to prove you wrong.

[Leanne]

I have a friend that thought mixer taps had to be cold or hot and you couldn't have an inbetween bit - she never even tried.

She though that fish didn't wee cause the ocean would flood.

She thought that when you turned off a light switch it 'took the light away'

I was with her in a clothes shop once and she said 'that girl over there looks really like you". I replied - it's a mirror...

[wicker8]

hi yes i have a dear friend whos father in law passed away some time back she asked said she was fed up waiting for her oh to come home from inverness [where her father in law is from]and i said your oh will be dealing with his affairs only for her to reply he was not having an affair he never got over his wife passing away she was so serious i could not comment just gave a wee laugh to my self

[Cattach]

I have known him for a few years, he is a lovely guy, a really close friend and a real character, but he is a bit gullible, and to be quite honest he isnt going to be winning any Noble Prizes in the next few years. He is one of the most well liked guys I have ever met but he has this habit of coming out with things that just make us howl with laughter.

Just been out with him for a quick pint and while sitting at the bar we saw some kids outside with helium balloons and I commented that we should go get some, inhale it and phone up some other mates for a larf. He then asks why the balloons just float away and when I said it was because they were lighter than air he said "Ah. Because its the weight of the air that keeps us all stuck to the ground" and nodded knowingly. "No, thats gravity" says I and he comes back with "Yeah but thats what gravity is isnt it ??, the weight of all the air" ..

He thinks Sinn Fein is "that woman who sang that "Nothing Compares to You".

He once commented on a bright summer day that the sun "didnt look right" and had to be told that was because it was the moon. Ok we had had a few pints but how drunk do you have to be to mis-identify the sun ??

I once watched him try to make cheese on toast. In a toaster. And it took TWO attempts before he gave up and laid it on its side for the third. He has a perfectly good grill and his actions here actually kept me up that night through sheer confusion. I later found out that he reckoned that once the cheese "cooked" it naturally "stuck" to the bread.

He has only just started speaking to me again after seeing my PS3 up and running and being quite impressed. Anyone who has one knows if you hook it up to the internet either with an ethernet cable or wirelessly you can play online etc etc. While showing him the PS Store, PS Home, Life with Playstation and the built in browser and internet search he thought this was great. "So this is all done over the Internet ??" "Yes mate, over the net" says I "I access them through my Home Hub there", I am with BT. Found out later he went out and bought a PS3 but cancelled his current ISP contract (costing him money) and got a BT contract because he thought it was the BT Hub that sent all the goodies to the PS3 when they are actually built in. He still maintains that I misled him. Thats why I was having a pint with him, to say sorry for the money loss incurred by me "lying" to him.

While in the Pub another lad we know came in who has a wicked sense of humour. He has somehow convinced our friend, over the last week or so, that "Save the Children" are an anti paedophile vigilante group and they urgently need his £3 a month to finance their crusade.

Anyone else have mates like this, or am I just specially blessed ??

Maybe he is just too smart for you and having you on. And who wants a friend like you?

[Invisible]

I had a friend who thought you put condoms on your tongue, cos of the flavour and because of this when he got of with a girl at a party he was led to believe he could have got her pregnant by not putting a condom on, even though it was just a kiss.

Same friend though Red Bull was alcohol.

[Gronnuck]

With friends like you lot, who needs enemies

[wicker8]

hi i am posting this on behalf if my oh there was a good friend of his that was asked would he like to buy a answer machine for his phone he replied what do i want one of them for i am never in ??