Caithness Map :: Links to Site Map Paying too much for broadband? Move to PlusNet broadband and save£££s. Free setup now available - terms apply. PlusNet broadband.  
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 61

Thread: Joke

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    19

    Cool Joke

    has anyone got a good joke . ill start

    knock knock
    whos there
    boo
    boo who
    what you crying about i got cake and ice cream down here!!!!!!

    beat that*

  2. #2

    Default

    there was a big tall man at a bar
    and a little small man comes in
    he says i wouldnt mind some of that
    after a few pints the small man says "can i have some of that"
    the tall man says yeah sure and hands him some bar peanuts
    good aint it


  3. #3

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Funky_Foal
    there was a big tall man at a bar
    and a little small man comes in
    he says i wouldnt mind some of that
    after a few pints the small man says "can i have some of that"
    the tall man says yeah sure and hands him some bar peanuts
    good aint it
    What were you thinking


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Wick,Caithness,Scotland,The World
    Posts
    2,269

    Default

    Knock Knock

    Who's There?

    Madam

    Madam who?

    Madam foots stuck in the door.
    Their coming to take me away.....haha-hee-hee-ho-ho

  5. #5

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cedric
    Knock Knock

    Who's There?

    Madam

    Madam who?

    Madam foots stuck in the door.
    ha ha where did you get that one?


  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    19

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Funky_Foal
    there was a big tall man at a bar
    and a little small man comes in
    he says i wouldnt mind some of that
    after a few pints the small man says "can i have some of that"
    the tall man says yeah sure and hands him some bar peanuts
    good aint it

    that is complete and utter tripe

  7. #7

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by DaScout
    that is complete and utter tripe

    well your one isnt that good either!!!!!


  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Wick,Caithness,Scotland,The World
    Posts
    2,269

    Default

    Knock Knock

    Whos there?

    Hufta

    Hufta who?

    Hufta pee,can I use your toilet.
    Their coming to take me away.....haha-hee-hee-ho-ho

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    2,105

    Default

    How many goths does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    None, they'd rather be in the darkness.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    1,350

    Default

    I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.

    "That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said. "That dog really seemed to enjoy the film."

    The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book."

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    2,105

    Default

    How many potheads does it take to change a light bulb?

    Two: One to hold the bulb against the socket, and the other to smoke up until the room starts spinning.

  12. #12

    Default

    A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. after a few more he needs the toilet. he doesnt want anyone to steal his beer so he puts up a sign saying "I spat in this beer do not drink". a few minutes later he returns and sees another sign beside it saying "So did I".


  13. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    round the bend
    Posts
    947

    Default

    An old woman walks into a doctors office.She says "My farts don't stink and they make no sound." The doctor give her pills and tells her to come back in a week.A week later she comes back and says "My farts stink but they still don't make a sound"
    The doctors turns to his nurse and says "The sinus pills worked but now she needs a hearing aid"
    The man who views the world at fifty,
    the same as he did at twenty,
    has wasted thirty years of his life.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    wick
    Posts
    249

    Default

    knock knock
    whos there
    adair
    adair who
    adair once but now im bald.



    knock knock
    whos there
    acid
    acid who
    acid down and be quiet.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    65

    Default

    What does deputy P.M John Prescott & an Homebase flatpack have in common?

    A few screws in the wrong place & the whole cabinet falls apart

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Wick
    Posts
    3,335

    Default

    Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"
    "My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbour was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
    Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Wick
    Posts
    3,335

    Default

    There was once a blonde girl named Sally. Her husband was at work, and to entertain herself, she decided to do a puzzle.
    Her husband came home later to find his wife angry and breathing hard at the table.
    "What is it?" he asked.
    "I'm trying to do this stupid puzzle! It's supposed to be a tiger!" she replied.
    The husband looked at the puzzle, sighed, and said,"Sally, dear, put the frosted flakes back in the box!"

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Wick
    Posts
    3,335

    Default three doors

    An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

    The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

    The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    1,655

    Default

    How many Dounreay scientists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None, they dont need lightbulbs-they all glow in the dark

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Wick
    Posts
    3,335

    Default wittle wabbit

    A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"

    And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"

    The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •