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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    19

    Cool Joke

    has anyone got a good joke . ill start

    knock knock
    whos there
    boo
    boo who
    what you crying about i got cake and ice cream down here!!!!!!

    beat that*

  2. #2

    Default

    there was a big tall man at a bar
    and a little small man comes in
    he says i wouldnt mind some of that
    after a few pints the small man says "can i have some of that"
    the tall man says yeah sure and hands him some bar peanuts
    good aint it


  3. #3

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Funky_Foal
    there was a big tall man at a bar
    and a little small man comes in
    he says i wouldnt mind some of that
    after a few pints the small man says "can i have some of that"
    the tall man says yeah sure and hands him some bar peanuts
    good aint it
    What were you thinking


  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    19

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Funky_Foal
    there was a big tall man at a bar
    and a little small man comes in
    he says i wouldnt mind some of that
    after a few pints the small man says "can i have some of that"
    the tall man says yeah sure and hands him some bar peanuts
    good aint it

    that is complete and utter tripe

  5. #5

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by DaScout
    that is complete and utter tripe

    well your one isnt that good either!!!!!


  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Wick,Caithness,Scotland,The World
    Posts
    2,269

    Default

    Knock Knock

    Whos there?

    Hufta

    Hufta who?

    Hufta pee,can I use your toilet.
    Their coming to take me away.....haha-hee-hee-ho-ho

  7. #7
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    Jan 2006
    Posts
    2,105

    Default

    How many goths does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    None, they'd rather be in the darkness.

  8. #8
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    Jan 2006
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    Wick,Caithness,Scotland,The World
    Posts
    2,269

    Default

    Knock Knock

    Who's There?

    Madam

    Madam who?

    Madam foots stuck in the door.
    Their coming to take me away.....haha-hee-hee-ho-ho

  9. #9

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cedric
    Knock Knock

    Who's There?

    Madam

    Madam who?

    Madam foots stuck in the door.
    ha ha where did you get that one?


  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    1,350

    Default

    I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.

    "That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said. "That dog really seemed to enjoy the film."

    The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book."

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    round the bend
    Posts
    947

    Default

    An old woman walks into a doctors office.She says "My farts don't stink and they make no sound." The doctor give her pills and tells her to come back in a week.A week later she comes back and says "My farts stink but they still don't make a sound"
    The doctors turns to his nurse and says "The sinus pills worked but now she needs a hearing aid"
    The man who views the world at fifty,
    the same as he did at twenty,
    has wasted thirty years of his life.

  12. #12
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    Jan 2006
    Location
    wick
    Posts
    249

    Default

    knock knock
    whos there
    adair
    adair who
    adair once but now im bald.



    knock knock
    whos there
    acid
    acid who
    acid down and be quiet.

  13. #13
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    Apr 2006
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    round the bend
    Posts
    947

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sam
    An old woman walks into a doctors office.She says "My farts don't stink and they make no sound." The doctor give her pills and tells her to come back in a week.A week later she comes back and says "My farts stink but they still don't make a sound"
    The doctors turns to his nurse and says "The sinus pills worked but now she needs a hearing aid"
    so you found this joke rude chillie, enough to leave me bad rep, well i find that even more amusing that the joke lol ha ha ha ha ha

    (really we both now the real reason you gave me bad rep lol)
    Last edited by sam; 13-May-06 at 18:37.
    The man who views the world at fifty,
    the same as he did at twenty,
    has wasted thirty years of his life.

  14. #14

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sam
    so you found this joke rude chillie, enough to leave me bad rep, well i find that even more amusing that the joke lol ha ha ha ha ha

    (really we both now the real reason you gave me bad rep lol)

    He he, you make me laugh , you remind me of the title of a Laurel & Hardy film.
    Not all chillies are hot but do not be deceived

  15. #15
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Chillie
    He he, you make me laugh , you remind me of the title of a Laurel & Hardy film.
    what film is that then??
    cos you remind me of something out of one flew over the cookoos nest lol
    The man who views the world at fifty,
    the same as he did at twenty,
    has wasted thirty years of his life.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Wick
    Posts
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    Default Good and Bad news

    Doctor: Well, I have good news and bad news.

    Patient: Go with the good news first.

    Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.

    Patient: What?! How about the bad news?

    Doctor: I forgot to call you yesterday.

  17. #17
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    Apr 2006
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    65

    Default

    What does deputy P.M John Prescott & an Homebase flatpack have in common?

    A few screws in the wrong place & the whole cabinet falls apart

  18. #18
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    Default

    Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"
    "My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbour was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
    Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your stupid cat."

  19. #19
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    Default

    There was once a blonde girl named Sally. Her husband was at work, and to entertain herself, she decided to do a puzzle.
    Her husband came home later to find his wife angry and breathing hard at the table.
    "What is it?" he asked.
    "I'm trying to do this stupid puzzle! It's supposed to be a tiger!" she replied.
    The husband looked at the puzzle, sighed, and said,"Sally, dear, put the frosted flakes back in the box!"

  20. #20
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    Location
    Wick
    Posts
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    Default three doors

    An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

    The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

    The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

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