My Poem/Rap

I've written this as a rap which I will be recording in the next few days.
Have produced the music just got to do my rap now.
I know this may be a bit different but i wrote it as a rap but think its not to bad a poem.
It only took me 10 mins to write,it just "flowed" out.
Have a read and tell me what you think.
(Can post the link to the finished song when I'm done if anyone wants)
Here goes:

My Family

Born and raised but still learning the game
never done nothing wrong to hang my head in shame
tried hard to make a success of this one and only life
Got myself 3 kids and a wonderful wife
Gonna do all I can to give them all they'll ever want
cos I know if I don't it'll come back to haunt
Me for the rest of my days until my dying breath
The only thing to separate me will be death
I'm Gonna always be there to show how much I care
Everything that is mine , is mine for them to share
I'll never walk away from them in their hour of need
Gonna try everything to make sure that I succeed
At life in general I'll always do my best
Even when all around me are trying to test
Me to see if I can be all I wanted to be
But I'll always be nothing unless I've got my ....Family




Verse 2


Life throws up many obstacles and puts in your way
All the things to tempt you and lead you astray
From your path of righteousness that you must follow through
There's only one person to blame and that's you
So you gotta get your head down get a grip of yourself
Do all that you can do to take care of your health
look into the eyes of the ones who love you the most
Be there for them forever always hold them real close
Cos you never know when your engines Gonna stop
Never know when the curtain comin down from the top
So you gotta seize the day as if its your last
Keep yourself in the slow lane,life passes too fast
Always be good to yourself and the rest will follow
Never count the days there's always tomorrow
Take a look at yourself always aim to be free
But you'll never be nothing unless you got the love of your....Family

I really enjoyed that and yes, please post the link when it is ready.....well done.:)

Yes - I really enjoyed that. I like the genre and the sentiments!

Look forward to your next

Trinkie

Thanks for that.Appreciate the comments.
As I said I know I've written it as a rap but to me it has a poem type feel.
Its just a subject that I am sure most would be able to just flow with as its something we all have and probably feel.
I write 2 or 3 raps a day but some of the subjects and lyrics may be a bit too risque (for want of a better word) to post on here!![lol]

Have put up my first take for the tune.
its here:http://www.myspace.com/hamystar
There are a few tunes I have done on there as long as you stick to the first 3 tunes there are no swear words!!!!! Just letting you know in case anyone takes offence!!!.[lol]
its just a rough version at the moment ,got a bit more work to do on it.
Hope you like it!:eek:

That brilliant , well done and thank you for sharing .
love light and laughter
whitecloud x