glasgow nicknames.

Two Soups - his real name is Campbell Baxter.

Norrie Two Bunnets - the Glasgow taxi-driver who wears a wig under his cloth cap.

The Colostomy - the girlfriend of a married man (ie. the wee bag on the side).

The Parachute - lets everyone down at the last minute.

Cashline - an experienced young lass who's open 24 hours a day.

Vaseline - his real name is Willie Burns.

Rembrandt - loves saying to colleagues: 'Let me put you in the picture...'

Bo Derek - a chap called Derek with terrible body odour.

Brewer's Droop - his real name is Willie Falls.

The Genie - magically appears whenever anyone opens a bottle.

The Marksman - when it's his turn to buy a round, he always shoots the craw. (disappears)

Dulux - his pals reckon he's only got one coat.

Soapy - washes his hands of any problems that crop up.

The Gas Man - he's serviced loads of old boilers.

The Woodpecker - he's always tapping.

Mussolini - woman in a Glasgow office who has rather loose morals (aka the great dicktaker