Printable View
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."
So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."
The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine." :lol:
lol good one ....a wee bit cheesey[lol]
Gary was traveling down a quiet country road when he noticed a large group of people standing around outside a house. He stopped and asked a farmer why such a large crowd was gathered. The farmer replied," Billy Bob's mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died."
"I see," Gary said. "Well, she must have had a lot of friends." "Naw," the farmer said, "we just all want to buy his mule."
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stands up and offers that, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy."
"No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."
A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside...that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room is silent; none of the other children dare volunteer.
"What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton was blown up by a bomb, that would be a tragedy."
"Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!"
Q. What do Celtik & a faithful wife have in common?
A. Neither of them play away from home [lol] [lol]
Benfica Loyal
I was out shopping the other day when I saw six women beating my mother-in-law up. As I stood there and watched, her neighbor, who knew me, said, "Well, aren't you going to help?" I replied, "No. Six of them is enough".
Quote:
Originally Posted by angela5
That wasnt the original ending Angela5 though was it? [lol]
Awwwwwww! was it no, care to share it then..http://forum.caithness.org/images/icons/icon10.gifQuote:
Originally Posted by willowbankbear
A "rag and bone man" came to my Mother-in-law's house and said, "Excuse me missus, have you got any old beer bottles you can let me have?" At this, she indignantly replied, "Do I look as if I drink beer?" At this he said, "Sorry love, I suppose not. But, perhaps you have got some old vinegar bottles then?"