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funy
ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing,
she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court.
The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for
himself.
The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this:
When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition.
She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are coming!" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Logan's Liniment will
reduce the swelling" and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big
Stick Did the Trick" and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that
said, "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"... I just lost
it."
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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
milk,
a carton of eggs,
orange juice,
lettuce,
coffee,
and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to
check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed
the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly
stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was
intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed
single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing
particularly unusual about her selections that could have
tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know
what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
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Guy walks into Caithness General wi' a lettuce sticking oot his bum.
The doctor says,"Is there any other pain"
Guy says,"Here this is just the tip o' the iceberg!!!!!!!":roll:
