Fits in 'e Groat ? by Donald Young
Fits in 'e Groat ?
By Donald Young
The Groat has just arrived and Chamesina (weel kent for her sharp tongue) passes comment on the local news.
Fits doan in 'e Groat 'iss week?
No much lekly. 'Ats for sure !
Sometimes ye ken id's no so bad
Bit ither times id's chist richt poor.
Noo first e' Births, fits new in here ?
Ho! Chessie Manson hes a son.
When wis she merried tho? Yis - I suppose -
'E time goes fairly flyan on.
An here's Cath Dinnad's wedding too
They say she's made a richt fine match.
An' her near forty fower an all.
Id's great how some can get a catch.
I see Wull Green wis Eichty-five.
Ach weel he hed a fair long day.
He'll be sore missed aboot 'e pleice,
He could kill a peeg a richt clean way!
Fits 'iss in twenty-five years back?
Chean Gunn 'e nurse, hed in her time,
If 'ats richt she's noo forty-five
An her sayan she's chist thirty-nine !
'E picters divan interest me
Nor dances for them wi' little till do.
As for top ten records – ochanee!
Ah dinna ken fit wur cumman till noo.
Ah see 'e fishing's good iss week,
An Wullag Maa hed a richt beeg shot.
He'll lekly hev anither spree,
An' his wife's no peyed her last new coat.
Id saya 'e consart wis richt good,
Wi' yon fiel Gaapaz Sammag's Chom.
An Lizzie Bain – och, howld yir towngue,
At her age she should stop at hom !
An' here's 'e Taylor's wedding splash,
They're allways oot till mak e hit,
Six bridesmaids an' them off till France,
A'm telt id's no been payed for yit.
Noo here's 'e W.R.I. Report
Ho ! Margie Gunn got first for scons.
They say she's weel in wi' 'e chudge
An' Bessie Sinclair should hev won.
Here's Alex Rosie hom fae abroad,
Id says he's doan things in style.
Bit he needna come his airs wi me.
Ah mind fan he wis in 'e chile !
Ah see Cheorge Budge hes selt 'e lambs
He hes thirty two at eicht pound ten.
A'll coont at oot when ah hev time.
For things lek at are fine till ken.
Iss footballs chist a wiest o' print
An' 'e back page is chist siels galore,
Weel 'ats 'e Groat read again.
A'll let ye hev id Mrs More.
Look at 'e clock ! Ats no 'e time ?
A've been sittan here two 'oors an more.
But there's no much in 'e Groat iss week.
Ah wunder fir ah buy id for !
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No I'm not starting up in competition with Donaldson !
This great ditty was dated 1965 and I hope some will find much amusement in reading it.
Trinkie
