Lachie couldn't believe his eyes, here in among all the rubble and dust was.....
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Lachie couldn't believe his eyes, here in among all the rubble and dust was.....
was morag wi rolling pin in hand
And here was his MALTESER.... :eek:
At Heinz guy, hes a lot tae answer fur cried Morag wi hir heid in hir hans
He's only gone and left me wi child......
... then Morag realised she could feel something wet on her face. Wide eyed, she looked at her hands. They were covered in...
Tomato sauce from e pan o beans left on e stove when lachie blew e ouse up. Just as he thought things could'nt get any worse, Lachie turned and saw his mother -in-law, Big Jessie coming up e garden path. Hoots mon ............
chocolate and it was melting quicker and quicker with the heat from the flames, then she realised, she'd found Lachies stash o maltesers. Lachie, Lachie she roared after him..........
Melted maltesers and baked beans, and now her mither inlaw coming down the street toward her, what more could possibly happen. She felt her chin begin to quiver, then taking a deep breath, decide to get even! She would...
take the shovel and swing it
smashing Lachie's last malteser into a million melting pieces, unfortunately though for big Jessie a chunk of chocolate shrapnel flew up and choked her, unable to perform the heimlich maneuver on Jessie's ample girth he proceeded to whack her with the shovel in a vain attempt to dislodge the sweetie. "Stop, stop" cried Morag as big Jessie....
gripped e shovel an rammed it up .....
... into the air, and with a cry she screamed, " YOU BLIGHTERS, you just wait till I get me..."
me corset off, then im gonna ..............
"... go down to the Trinkie for a swim, and wash all this crushed melted malteser off me face. When I get back, I'll be calling for the ..."
fire brigade ,the mannies in the white coats & the undertaker cause were sure gonny need them a
week at least tae sort oot a this mess you created Lachie, just because ye were drunk in the first.......
... year of your life, doesn't mean you can stay drunk for the rest of it!" With that she turned and flounced out of the front garden and up the road. But they knew they'd not seen the last of her. Lachie gave himself a bit of a scratch and said, "...
But an ben my granny left us in her will ! "Ye great galloot" shouted......
Morag 'you've jist gone an blew that aff the face o the earth and onto the moon, ya gormless pillock, whits gonna happen tae.........