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An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."
paddy thinks a while. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty."
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes. The man says, "I want two more of these." [lol]
That's the Irish for you
Do the Irish know what 's gonna hit them?!! [lol]Quote:
Originally Posted by johno
Oh no...... I'm already laughing at some of the 'irish' things that are cropping up - and they're not even supposed to be funny!
Like, the house that's for rent in Father Russell Road, Dooradoyle.... Images of Father Ted were springing to mind....
Or the fact that Midleton (quite a large district) proudly announced in 2000 that they had taken on & had trained their very own traffic warden! (Also responsible as Litter Warden & Illegal Trading watchperson) Because 'visitors' were parking in the high street all day long & not leaving room for the locals!
Apparently, she's still there & doing such a grand job, they have no need for a 2nd person to join her - nor have they any plans to make her full-time..... :eek:
Here in Blackpool, we not only have traffic wardens, we have a whole company set up, with 58 employees!!
Add to all this that the people on the telephone keep saying things like 'now to be sure.... and bejaysus...' and I am on the floor!
But, on the whole, I think we're going to love it out there.... But I will stand at border control & deny all knowledge of knowing you, Johno - else I might get barred! [lol]
you cant do that Julie , cause im fixing on revisiting Ireland next year. Now i suppose i,ll have to go in disguise.......[lol]Quote:
Originally Posted by jsherris
This could be what's wrong with me, my Irish heritage! :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by NLP
Traveling on the train
There was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Tasmania. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark.
Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there.
The Englishman was thinking: "The Irish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead."
Claudia Schiffer was thinking: "The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it."
The Irishman was thinking: "This is great! The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that English man again."
Irish girl confesses sins
The Irish girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."
"What is it, child?"
The girl said, "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am."
The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "My dear, I have good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake."
;)Very good sam, thats how they should beQuote:
Originally Posted by sam