View Full Version : Make up your own rant.
northener
17-Feb-10, 21:49
Like it says - it's a rant thread where you make up your own ill-informed, gormless, opinionated, narrow-minded, pointless rant.
The rules are as follows:
1: Facts are not necessary - remember, this is a rant. The sort of ill-informed, unreasonable rabid foaming-at-the-mouth rant we all love.
2: No-one is to be offended by the content and start arguing (but please, this is meant to be for a laugh, no serious nasty stuff - or I'll bin the thread). If you don't like it - don't read the thread.
3: Once a rant is posted, the only responses to be posted are to be to rate the rant on a scale of 1 to 10 (eg: 3/10 - overall a poor performance, lacked wit, bite and a clear target. I was hardly upset at all).
4: You MUST include all of the following cliched rant buzzwords -
The powers that be
Conspiracy
I myself
Nazi
Why, Oh why
Them
Over to you:Razz
BTW the winer gets a cyber Tunnocks teacake.
Invisible
17-Feb-10, 22:10
To the The powers that be Why is it when you complement some girl's on their looks they think you want in their pants feels like a Conspiracy. Nazi Rage!
I myself think Its worse when drunk cos Them beer goggles do the work
Why, Oh why
northener
17-Feb-10, 22:18
Why is it when you complement some girl's on their looks they think you want in their pants. Rage! Its worse when drunk cos beer goggles do the work
0/10
Obviously didn't read any of the rules.
Back of the class for you, ma laddie.
Now, if you'd said:
"Why oh why don't those damned women stop sticking together in some sort of conspiracy every time I try to chat them up. They look at me like some sort of deviant Nazi every time I leer in their direction.
Surely the powers that be should realise that I myself am a fine upstanding member of the community and wish no harm to the cluck of wittering empty headed peroxide slappers that view poor beard growers such as myself as some sorth of wierd 'them' who are to be treated seperately from the rest of the human race?[mad]"
.....I'd be giving you 8/10.
Yoda the flump
17-Feb-10, 22:20
Oh the 'winer' gets a teacake - winer? Spelling today!
IMHO there will be no 'winer', winner possibly but 'winer' NO!
It's all a conspiracy, I myself am sure that the powers that be are encouraging bad spelling and illiteracy in schools!
Why oh why are the Nazi, Commie PC brigade allowed to get away with it?
Its ok with them, keep the kids happy and don't dare upset the little dears!
Quite frankly 'I don't believe it'!
Invisible
17-Feb-10, 22:22
0/10
Obviously didn't read any of the rules.
Back of the class for you, ma laddie.
You cant rush perfection
fixed it:)
northener
17-Feb-10, 22:25
To the The powers that be Why is it when you complement some girl's on their looks they think you want in their pants feels like a Conspiracy. Nazi Rage!
I myself think Its worse when drunk cos Them beer goggles do the work
Why, Oh why
Too late, muppet.:Razz
northener
17-Feb-10, 22:27
Oh the 'winer' gets a teacake - winer? Spelling today!
IMHO there will be no 'winer', winner possibly but 'winer' NO!
It's all a conspiracy, I myself am sure that the powers that be are encouraging bad spelling and illiteracy in schools!
Why oh why are the Nazi, Commie PC brigade allowed to get away with it?
Its ok with them, keep the kids happy and don't dare upset the little dears!
Quite frankly 'I don't believe it'!
0/10
Read the rules ya green dessicated dwarf!
[edit]
My apologies, you have put in all the required buzzwords. (Must lay off the Westons Organic Cider when on here)
4/10
The words are there, but it's a bit vague. No distinct direct attack on a singular unsuspecting section of the community. Too broad in it's scope.
However, for a firast attempt it certainly warrants praise, keep it up Yoda. I see a bright future for you in insults.
BTW the winer gets a cyber Tunnocks teacake.
I wasn't going to be taken in by such rubbish but then the chance of a Tunnocks Teacake, and a cyber one at that, well.......
BUT, what the hell is going on, "winer"; what are you insinuating?
How very dare you. Suggesting that I'm some sort of wino.
The powers that be will be notified of your ill informed accusations, I will be writing to the Mods, my MP, MEP and distant cousin in Tanzania about your scurrilous outburst.
I bet you're sat there now all smug thinking set up a nice little "pleasant" debate but oh no sunshine, this is about to descend into another quagmire of name calling and cheap shots, I bet it's bloody conspiracy too, set up so you and your cronies can start mocking and making fun of those who have serious issues to address.
Well I, myself will not going to stand for it any more. I demand you retract your outrageous comment and apologise to everyone I am outraged for, and yes that includes Mr Nagu Umbawe of Nigeria. A gentleman friend of mine who has a sizeable fortune for me to dispose of, he will be utterly outraged at the attitude of a forum Nazi like you.
Why, Oh why do you think you can get away with such utter filth and offensive crap is beyond me, it's time this ends. I will not tolerate such puerile drivel and I doubt anybody else will, I know I speak for Them all when I say this.
You should be damn well ashamed of yourself and I demand you apologise and publicly flog yourself for your behaviour.
And another thing, just who do you think you are demanding that we include "buzz" words in our responses. What a pathetic little man you are...."oooh you must say this and you must say that"
Childish nonsense!
Do you really expect me to fall for such crap? The powers that be certainly won't tolerate this rubbish, unless they are in your little Conspiracy. I myself just think this is a style of Nazi web abuse, Why, Oh why do you believe you can just abuse Them around you that share forums for decent, informative use. Not the intolerable abuse that you dish out.
I hope you are bloody well ashamed of yourself.
redeyedtreefrog
17-Feb-10, 22:40
Why oh why do those Nazi powers that be insist on forming some sort of conspiracy with them, those ill-informed lesser beings who erect wind turbines spoiling our beautiful county's natural beauty. I myself feel that we as a nation should rise up to these bankers and greedy corporate fatcats and do something about it. [mad]
RANT OVER!
northener
17-Feb-10, 22:48
I wasn't going to be taken in by such rubbish but then the chance of a Tunnocks Teacake, and a cyber one at that, well.......
BUT, what the hell is going on, "winer"; what are you insinuating?
How very dare you. Suggesting that I'm some sort of wino.
The powers that be will be notified of your ill informed accusations, I will be writing to the Mods, my MP, MEP and distant cousin in Tanzania about your scurrilous outburst.
I bet you're sat there now all smug thinking set up a nice little "pleasant" debate but oh no sunshine, this is about to descend into another quagmire of name calling and cheap shots, I bet it's bloody conspiracy too, set up so you and your cronies can start mocking and making fun of those who have serious issues to address.
Well I, myself will not going to stand for it any more. I demand you retract your outrageous comment and apologise to everyone I am outraged for, and yes that includes Mr Nagu Umbawe of Nigeria. A gentleman friend of mine who has a sizeable fortune for me to dispose of, he will be utterly outraged at the attitude of a forum Nazi like you.
Why, Oh why do you think you can get away with such utter filth and offensive crap is beyond me, it's time this ends. I will not tolerate such puerile drivel and I doubt anybody else will, I know I speak for Them all when I say this.
You should be damn well ashamed of yourself and I demand you apologise and publicly flog yourself for your behaviour.
And another thing, just who do you think you are demanding that we include "buzz" words in our responses. What a pathetic little man you are...."oooh you must say this and you must say that"
Childish nonsense!
Do you really expect me to fall for such crap? The powers that be certainly won't tolerate this rubbish, unless they are in your little Conspiracy. I myself just think this is a style of Nazi web abuse, Why, Oh why do you believe you can just abuse Them around you that share forums for decent, informative use. Not the intolerable abuse that you dish out.
I hope you are bloody well ashamed of yourself.
The sort of long-winded, self-important, pomposity that I would be proud of myself. An excellent attempt.
It has indignation and a certain nastiness behind it. However, it is a little self-centered and does not identify an outside group that is to blame for all your ills. Invisible did well in identifying wimmin as the group worthy of his bile...learn from him. And it does lack a certain vicious bile.
8/10.
The sort of long-winded, self-important, pomposity that I would be proud of myself. An excellent attempt.
It has indignation and a certain nastiness behind it. However, it is a little self-centered and does not identify an outside group that is to blame for all your ills. Invisible did well in identifying wimmin as the group worthy of his bile...learn from him. And it does lack a certain vicious bile.
8/10.
Ah well, worth a shot. Can I have another go once I've downed a bottl glass or two of wine, I could probably let rip with something worthy then....
northener
17-Feb-10, 22:57
Why oh why do those Nazi powers that be insist on forming some sort of conspiracy with them, those ill-informed lesser beings who erect wind turbines spoiling our beautiful county's natural beauty. I myself feel that we as a nation should rise up to these bankers and greedy corporate fatcats and do something about it. [mad]
RANT OVER!
Again, a good attempt...and certainly succinct in it's delivery. All the ingredients are there, it identifies a (admittedly loosely connected) target group and mentions 'corporate fatcats' - always a crowd pleaser these days.
Short and to the point. Very good.
But it's very briefness lets it down. It almost qualifies as a brief observation as opposed to a rant. I would be hard pressed to remember the content of this three minutes later. But the nice bit of rabble rousing at the end balances this out nicely.
So I can give this the same honourable score as Phill - both worthy attempts in a different format, but still lacking the vehemence and hackle raising that we really need.
8/10.
Tubthumper
17-Feb-10, 23:21
Anyone want to help? I can't get 'returns' into it - the post just comes out as one stream of gibberish...
northener
17-Feb-10, 23:26
A technical fault has occurred Please wait and enjoy the relaxing music Why not try our special 'Tennants lager'
Tubs, with respect. I'll need to be fairly sober to give my judgement upon this....it's that cramped my eyes are spinning*. i feel it may touch upon a couple of areas that have been missing so far in this thread.
*Nothing to do with westons organic cider...so don't start.
(EDIT) That's got to be the fastest edit I've ever seen.[lol]
northener
17-Feb-10, 23:27
Anyone want to help? I can't get 'returns' into it - the post just comes out as one stream of gibberish...
Oohh..ya gutless whazzock.:Razz
And you were doing soooo well...
...possibly a bit personal, mind.
In a good mood today, dont feel like a rant.
Tubthumper
17-Feb-10, 23:32
Right - I can't get any of the 'text edit' functions to work on the post reply page, and when I paste my contribution and 'post', it just goes limp. It's a thing of beauty and needs to have a shape; a blob of words is just plain wrong. Any suggestions?
northener
17-Feb-10, 23:37
In a good mood today, dont feel like a rant.
Right - I can't get any of the 'text edit' functions to work on the post reply page, and when I paste my contribution and 'post', it just goes limp. It's a thing of beauty and needs to have a shape; a blob of words is just plain wrong. Any suggestions?
Miserable excuses from you both.
Apathy and technological ineptness.
Inexcusable.
Tubthumper
17-Feb-10, 23:50
Why oh why is it, just when I've finally wrote a pome that meets the 'form' the nazis who run the posting machine conspire to make all the words run together! I myself have been trying hard to measure up, but of course, once 'They' get on the case you've had it! It's all about 'Them'! Blasteds!!
Metalattakk
17-Feb-10, 23:54
BTW the winer gets a cyber Tunnocks teacake.
winerWhat's this? There was a day once, when people took the written word seriously. :roll:
But wait, the powers that be are hell-bent on washing their hands of legibility in favour of idiotic txt spk and mumbled, fumbled, fat-fingered dyslexic keyboard-driven outrage.
Bah, and Humbug, I say. A typical knee-jerk reaction from 'Them' and their conspiracy-denying overlords, bent on stamping out the very ability to understand each other. Soon we'll all be dumb mutes, unable to convey even the most irrelevant of emotions, and therefore powerless - utterly powerless to stop their despicable machinations. We're all going to Hell in a handcart, and don't say I didn't warn you. [evil]
Why, oh why can't these evil-doers not learn to just keep their destructive blue-prints for world domination to themselves?
Honestly, it's like living in Nazi Germany... :eek:
northener
18-Feb-10, 00:00
Why oh why is it, just when I've finally wrote a pome that meets the 'form' the nazis who run the posting machine conspire to make all the words run together! I myself have been trying hard to measure up, but of course, once 'They' get on the case you've had it! It's all about 'Them'! Blasteds!!
Only covered five of the six basic keywords, Tubs. And a couple of those were dodgy.
You missed "The powers that be".
Thus void, old chap.
northener
18-Feb-10, 00:20
What's this? There was a day once, when people took the written word seriously. :roll:
But wait, the powers that be are hell-bent on washing their hands of legibility in favour of idiotic txt spk and mumbled, fumbled, fat-fingered dyslexic keyboard-driven outrage.
Bah, and Humbug, I say. A typical knee-jerk reaction from 'Them' and their conspiracy-denying overlords, bent on stamping out the very ability to understand each other. Soon we'll all be dumb mutes, unable to convey even the most irrelevant of emotions, and therefore powerless - utterly powerless to stop their despicable machinations. We're all going to Hell in a handcart, and don't say I didn't warn you. [evil]
Why, oh why can't these evil-doers not learn to just keep their destructive blue-prints for world domination to themselves?
Honestly, it's like living in Nazi Germany... :eek:
A fine attempt, MA. Intelligent, well argued and encompassing.
But I do not get any sense of hatred, vicious ill-informed opinion or downright narrow-mindedness. Your argument is too well presented and reminds me of a telling off from my mild-mannered English teacher.
And you missed out "I myself"
Another void entry.
But I like the 'knee-jerk' bit. Maybe I should have included that.....(edit)..Oooh, and the 'evil doers'..
Metalattakk
18-Feb-10, 00:22
Balls. I must have edited it out. :(
Would have preferred a Tunnocks Caramel Wafer anyway. ;)
Tubthumper
18-Feb-10, 00:27
Oh why, oh why?
Am I, am I?
So plagued by those
Who try and try
To slag my words
And make me cry
I’ll have revenge
Soon, by and by
The powers-that-be
Who hassle me
And say my tomes are
Quality-free
I gob on them
One day they’ll see
Once I get published
Hee-hee-hee
That small-mind crew
The Nazis who
Conspire to say
To me and you
Our poem form
Is less than true
Are we concerned?
Oh yes, boo-hoo
While I myself
Feel left on shelf
Those tiny minds
All small like elf
I speak of Them
With glowing health
Each pompous erse
With bullplop wealth
So Lister, though
You feel quite so
Irate at form
And better know
How poetry
Should rhyme and flow
I’ll bow to you
Away I’ll go
But I surmise
You’d win no prize
You’re full of poop
Of massive size
Your pish and wind
You can’t disguise
That’s what I think
No lies, no lies
Why oh why is it tell me that as soon as you start a blatantly trolly thread about praising poss. the most unpopular person on the planet the first six replies you get agree with you!
Then, after the MODs change the name of the thread just ‘cos I called it: Inflammatory Thread and its all going nicy nicy and its just a gentle stroll down memory lane, apart from BB who seemed to have a bit of a Bee in his bonnet about her being some kind of Nazi, murdering bitch (although I’ve just noticed he thinks she's hot now). I get a red card
Then when I myself close the thread ('cos I don't want another prefraction from them) everybody starts asking you one at a time why you closed the thread! It’s a bliddy conspiracy that’s what it is.
Anyway it’s an outrage I'm gonner see about that with the powers that be… erk! Mmmmph MMmmph MMMMPH!
northener
18-Feb-10, 00:31
Oh why, oh why?
Am I, am I?
So plagued by those
Who try and try
To slag my words
And make me cry
I’ll have revenge
Soon, by and by
The powers-that-be
Who hassle me
And say my tomes are
Quality-free
I gob on them
One day they’ll see
Once I get published
Hee-hee-hee
That small-mind crew
The Nazis who
Conspire to say
To me and you
Our poem form
Is less than true
Are we concerned?
Oh yes, boo-hoo
While I myself
Feel left on shelf
Those tiny minds
All small like elf
I speak of Them
With glowing health
Each pompous erse
With bullplop wealth
So Lister, though
You feel quite so
Irate at form
And better know
How poetry
Should rhyme and flow
I’ll bow to you
Away I’ll go
But I surmise
You’d win no prize
You’re full of poop
Of massive size
Your pish and wind
You can’t disguise
That’s what I think
No lies, no lies
If you think I'm wading my way through that lot after the amount of cider I've drunk tonight- you've got another ting coming, Tubs.
Ahm off tae bed...judgement will have to wait until the dawn.:Razz
Tubthumper
18-Feb-10, 00:36
If you think I'm wading my way through that lot after the amount of cider I've drunk tonight- you've got another tin coming, Tubs. Ahm off tae bed...judgement will have to wait until the dawn.:Razz
I've got another tin coming... yes, result!
Sorry about the length, its a perennial problem of mine.
...
So Lister, ...
... I surmise
You’d win no prize
You’re full of poop
Of massive size
Your pish and wind
You can’t disguise
That’s what I think
No lies, no lies
Clearly hell hath no fury like Tub scorned. :eek:
Poor quality, in my opinion, even by your standard.
Clearly hell hath no fury like Tub scorned. :eek:
Poor quality, in my opinion, even by your standard.
Why do you knock tub's poetry? Is it because you disagree with his views. To me it's a lot better than a lot of the modern pretentious cach that people ask you to pay for these days....... :eek: You don't want us to pay for it do you tubs?
At last, my opportunity to be a little different, risque even.
The powers that be have seen it quite fit that people with an IQ of less that 70 can go ahead and breed quite freely. I myself think that this is a very undesirable freedom as we are becoming increasingly populated by chavs.
Now, some may say that my attitudes are somewhat Nazi-like but I am not calling for the sterilisation of these individuals - simply that they must apply for a licence after proving that they are able to financially support their families, that they have attended parenting classes and signed an agreement that they will at all times be responsible for what their children get up to.
I have considered that there may be a conspiracy by the current government to increase the size of their voting-base. Why, oh why are we always giving in to the do-gooders who are constantly whinging about the freedom of individuals to do as they please (even lately, saying that body scanners are illegal - me, I wouldn't even mind stripping down as long as I don't get blown up by some terrorist)?
So, come on.... let's make a stand against them. Vote for Northerner - he will get the status quo readdressed and we can then rest assured that the average IQ of the human race is not headed on a downward track.
How's that one, Northerner?
;)
northener
18-Feb-10, 11:03
Oh why, oh why?
Am I, am I?
So plagued by those
Who try and try
To slag my words
And make me cry
I’ll have revenge
Soon, by and by
The powers-that-be
Who hassle me
And say my tomes are
Quality-free
I gob on them
One day they’ll see
Once I get published
Hee-hee-hee
That small-mind crew
The Nazis who
Conspire to say
To me and you
Our poem form
Is less than true
Are we concerned?
Oh yes, boo-hoo
While I myself
Feel left on shelf
Those tiny minds
All small like elf
I speak of Them
With glowing health
Each pompous erse
With bullplop wealth
So Lister, though
You feel quite so
Irate at form
And better know
How poetry
Should rhyme and flow
I’ll bow to you
Away I’ll go
But I surmise
You’d win no prize
You’re full of poop
Of massive size
Your pish and wind
You can’t disguise
That’s what I think
No lies, no lies
Clever. Not convinced that poem is is the correct medium for foaming at the mouth posts, though.
All the key words are there and it flows quite well. However I must deduct points for naming an individual. Again it lacks a venemous quality (think hissy fit, stamping feet, peevishness)
As a poem I would give this 8/10.
Unfortunately the 'rant' quality was a little lost.
So 7/10.
northener
18-Feb-10, 11:05
Clearly hell hath no fury like Tub scorned. :eek:
Poor quality, in my opinion, even by your standard.
I certainly agree with that Stavro.
Why do you knock tub's poetry? Is it because you disagree with his views. To me it's a lot better than a lot of the modern pretentious cach that people ask you to pay for these days....... :eek: You don't want us to pay for it do you tubs?
Slapped wrists - read the rules on posting please.
Buy feel free to score Tubs on the rant qualities of his post - and others. I'm sure there's more than me got some input into what makes a good rant.:Razz
northener
18-Feb-10, 11:14
At last, my opportunity to be a little different, risque even.
The powers that be have seen it quite fit that people with an IQ of less that 70 can go ahead and breed quite freely. I myself think that this is a very undesirable freedom as we are becoming increasingly populated by chavs.
Now, some may say that my attitudes are somewhat Nazi-like but I am not calling for the sterilisation of these individuals - simply that they must apply for a licence after proving that they are able to financially support their families, that they have attended parenting classes and signed an agreement that they will at all times be responsible for what their children get up to.
I have considered that there may be a conspiracy by the current government to increase the size of their voting-base. Why, oh why are we always giving in to the do-gooders who are constantly whinging about the freedom of individuals to do as they please (even lately, saying that body scanners are illegal - me, I wouldn't even mind stripping down as long as I don't get blown up by some terrorist)?
So, come on.... let's make a stand against them. Vote for Northerner - he will get the status quo readdressed and we can then rest assured that the average IQ of the human race is not headed on a downward track.
How's that one, Northerner?
;)
Ticks all the boxes. Blames a whole sub-section of society for a social trend. Implicates the government in a national meddling scheme. pretty good.
But where's the passion? Where's the white-knuckle, eye-bulging shriek of anger? I can't feel your pain, Ricco.
But you sucked up to me at the end of your post ...always a good thing to do in these situations.
8/10.
Folks,
I want to feel your passion, your irrational fury at things you can never change. I want take-it-to-the-streets mob mentality, paranoia on a grand scale. Don't write it- -shout it!
I feel we're getting there, but I want the full-on post, relentless and all-encompassing in its' scope and ridiculous content.
To your keyboards and write!:Razz
Well, the way I see it, the supposed cynicism of the powers that be about caged eggs as opposed to battery eggs is totally unfounded. I truly believe that they are not being cynical but politically correct instead. That in itself is a conspiracy that should be avoided and denounced at all costs.
I myself detest political correctness and if I had my way, I would ban it totally. But one has to realise that 'caged' has to be written on an egg box rather than 'battery' in case some ass wonders what sort of machine takes egg shaped batteries! Why, Oh why must we allow thick people this amount of leniency?
Personally, if I had battery hens that were giving me eggs to sell, I would be acting in the typical way that a member of the Nazi is normally portrayed and I would do my utmost to obtain as many eggs for as much profit as possible, regardless of the welfare of the hen, and stuff the rest of you!
Lastly, for those of you that didn't know it, 'Them' is a film from the 1950's about gigantic radioactive ants!
ShelleyCowie
18-Feb-10, 15:53
The rant i portray is a stand i take for many women! I rant about men!
I myself believe that a man must have directed the advert for female sanitary towels. Whenever i see that advert on the tv box "have a happy period" my head spins and fury spews out of my mouth at it. Why, oh why would a woman ever say "have a happy period". Obviously as i said written by a man as they have no idea what a period is like.
A man can say being kicked in the "Jewels" is like giving birth. Tell ya what "MEN" why dont you try pushing a baby out of a tiny space. Basically push a football through a 50p. Go on!!
Men have no idea, they seem to have contracted the evil from some sort of Nazi soldier ancestors because no women would ever say a kick in the "Jewels" wouldnt hurt.
If you look up the word "conspiracy" on the t'internet what do you get for a definition? "A combination of men for an evil purpose"
That seems right to me! [evil]
For the powers that be may men grow some common sense in that testosterone garden that they must have or may their death be upon them.
What do you take women for? ;) Im just a bad speller is all...
northener
18-Feb-10, 15:56
Well, the way I see it, the supposed cynicism of the powers that be about caged eggs as opposed to battery eggs is totally unfounded. I truly believe that they are not being cynical but politically correct instead. That in itself is a conspiracy that should be avoided and denounced at all costs.
I myself detest political correctness and if I had my way, I would ban it totally. But one has to realise that 'caged' has to be written on an egg box rather than 'battery' in case some ass wonders what sort of machine takes egg shaped batteries! Why, Oh why must we allow thick people this amount of leniency?
Personally, if I had battery hens that were giving me eggs to sell, I would be acting in the typical way that a member of the Nazi is normally portrayed and I would do my utmost to obtain as many eggs for as much profit as possible, regardless of the welfare of the hen, and stuff the rest of you!
Lastly, for those of you that didn't know it, 'Them' is a film from the 1950's about gigantic radioactive ants!
All boxes ticked. Nice bit of drum banging regarding the eggs with a sweeping generisation that the public is too thick to work something out.
However you attempted to explain something regarding the eggs ("But one has to realise that......"). Rants don't explain anything. A rant should beat everyone over the head with an opinion and never attempt to explain a situation in a sensible manner. Remember, you are always right - everyone else is a moron.
I like the inference that you would deal with the problem your own way with a blatant disregard for others feeling and welfare - this is the sort of self-centred bluster we need. You then proceed to tell everyone else what they can do with their opinion regarding this issue - thus closing off any chance of sensible debate from others. Again, good stuff.
Pointless inclusion of an old film to get yourself off the starting line...novel, I like it. Would have been better if you'd finished that sentance with a general insult such as 'you idiots'. Thus implying the opinion that anyone who doesn't know something you do is somehow stupid.
We are getting there, a bit more insulting and blaming would still be in order.
8.5/10
northener
18-Feb-10, 16:04
The rant i portray is a stand i take for many women! I rant about men!
I myself believe that a man must have directed the advert for female sanitary towels. Whenever i see that advert on the tv box "have a happy period" my head spins and fury spews out of my mouth at it. Why, oh why would a woman ever say "have a happy period". Obviously as i said written by a man as they have no idea what a period is like.
A man can say being kicked in the "Jewels" is like giving birth. Tell ya what "MEN" why dont you try pushing a baby out of a tiny space. Basically push a football through a 50p. Go on!!
Men have no idea, they seem to have contracted the evil from some sort of Nazi soldier ancestors because no women would ever say a kick in the "Jewels" wouldnt hurt.
If you look up the word "conspiracy" on the t'internet what do you get for a definition? "A combination of men for an evil purpose"
That seems right to me! [evil]
For the powers that be may men grow some common sense in that testosterone garden that they must have or may their death be upon them.
What do you take women for? ;) Im just a bad speller is all...
Ooooh...this is more like it.
It borders on incoherent in a couple of places, always a good sign that the poster is off their trolley.
A rabble-rousing call to a certain sector of the public. Ill-informed widespread blaming of 'men' for womens ills. An obvious despisal of advertising, throws down a ridiculous and unfeasable challenge to another sector of the community and use of exclamation marks and paraphrasing to heighten effect. All finished off with a ridiculous death threat.
The Nazi connection was a bit lame, but this is basically good stuff.
Congratulations, best yet.
9/10.
The straw that's broke the camels back!!! The latest missive from those bloody Health & Safety Nazi's at my work is access panels on the plant are not allowed to be hinged, they must be bolted all round instead of just one side. What flaming difference does it make? The panels still need a bloody spanner to undo them; if they are hinged, all it means is we don't hurt ourselves trying to support some heavy doors and lowering them to the ground. If you ask me it's a bloody Conspiracy, all Them H & S wallahs get together and discuss ways of keeping themselves in a job, and the more outrageous the idea, the better. I myself would be sick to the back teeth of the whole bunch, if I had any, so unlike this rant, I lack bite. Why, Oh why do we continue to put up with it? Perhaps the best thing to do is scrap the whole plant and just leave a huge empty space, that way we are unlikely to get hurt walking into, under, over or through anything. All that will be there is fresh air, and that can't hurt. Oh, silly me...what about the CO2 levels? I suppose we'll still need to wear masks. :roll: I know many of us need our jobs but surely there must come a time when we all stand together and tell all and sundry to BOG OFF, and stop being bloody petty. [disgust]
Rant over.
Come on ole plum lets be avin yours :)
northener
18-Feb-10, 20:55
The straw that's broke the camels back!!! The latest missive from those bloody Health & Safety Nazi's at my work is access panels on the plant are not allowed to be hinged, they must be bolted all round instead of just one side. What flaming difference does it make? The panels still need a bloody spanner to undo them; if they are hinged, all it means is we don't hurt ourselves trying to support some heavy doors and lowering them to the ground. If you ask me it's a bloody Conspiracy, all Them H & S wallahs get together and discuss ways of keeping themselves in a job, and the more outrageous the idea, the better. I myself would be sick to the back teeth of the whole bunch, if I had any, so unlike this rant, I lack bite. Why, Oh why do we continue to put up with it? Perhaps the best thing to do is scrap the whole plant and just leave a huge empty space, that way we are unlikely to get hurt walking into, under, over or through anything. All that will be there is fresh air, and that can't hurt. Oh, silly me...what about the CO2 levels? I suppose we'll still need to wear masks. :roll: I know many of us need our jobs but surely there must come a time when we all stand together and tell all and sundry to BOG OFF, and stop being bloody petty. [disgust]
Rant over.
Not bad at all, Jox.
Almost bordering on the sensible though, don't you think? It would have been better with a couple of cheap shots at the corporate lickspittles and a smidgin more in the insult department.
It would rate an 8.5/10.
But you missed out "the powers that be"...
So you get nuffin.[lol]
Not bad at all, Jox.
Almost bordering on the sensible though, don't you think? It would have been better with a couple of cheap shots at the corporate lickspittles and a smidgin more in the insult department.
It would rate an 8.5/10.
But you missed out "the powers that be"...
So you get nuffin.[lol]
Oh bejesus, I thought I'd done well too. I copied and pasted your chosen words and fitted my rant in around them, obviously forgot to c & p "the powers that be". :(
It would rate an 8.5/10.
But you missed out "the powers that be"...
So you get nuffin.[lol]
REF!!!!!! Objection!!!!!!, you forgot your glasses, Jox's rules [lol]
4 and a half hours to get to Inverness on the train is rediculous!
Drive it in half the time!
4 and a half hours to get to Inverness on the train is rediculous!
Drive it in half the time!
Forgive me Dadie, but you may have missed the point of this entire thread! Although I agree. It is :lol:
REF!!!!!! Objection!!!!!!, you forgot your glasses, Jox's rules [lol]
Thanks Gol.
I doubt our Dearest Lovely Lord Northener will take into account the fact I'm blind as a bat without specs. :(
northener
19-Feb-10, 20:23
Thanks Gol.
I doubt our Dearest Lovely Lord Northener will take into account the fact I'm blind as a bat without specs. :(
10/10 for observational skills, Jox.[lol]
Next!
Please see post #25
northener
19-Feb-10, 22:10
Please see post #25
I thought I'd done that one?:eek:
Jeez, sorry, old age is a terrible thing.....
I'll be back......
northener
21-Feb-10, 00:52
Why oh why is it tell me that as soon as you start a blatantly trolly thread about praising poss. the most unpopular person on the planet the first six replies you get agree with you!
Then, after the MODs change the name of the thread just ‘cos I called it: Inflammatory Thread and its all going nicy nicy and its just a gentle stroll down memory lane, apart from BB who seemed to have a bit of a Bee in his bonnet about her being some kind of Nazi, murdering bitch (although I’ve just noticed he thinks she's hot now). I get a red card
Then when I myself close the thread ('cos I don't want another prefraction from them) everybody starts asking you one at a time why you closed the thread! It’s a bliddy conspiracy that’s what it is.
Anyway it’s an outrage I'm gonner see about that with the powers that be… erk! Mmmmph MMmmph MMMMPH!
A fine entry regarding a classic rant subject.
Starts off with an innocuous post allegedly being tinkered with resulting in the OP losing control of his 'baby' and then goes on to throw hands up in air after trolling plan backfires. Good. Could have done with a bit more heated moaning here. You had the perfect opportunity to sneer and despise, yet didn't take it.
Had a go at BB, fine, and then mentioned Red Card. Again another missed opportunity for some really indignant shrieking. However, ground is regained after admitting closing thread (you should admit nothing - see earlier critiques) - by complaining about people showing interest.
Finishes with two deft strokes, the first being a direct threat to confront 'the powers that be'...nice one. The second one implying that the OP is somehow being 'gagged'. By whom he does not say.
This re-enforces the impression that the nebulous 'powers that be' have some physical hold over the OP.
So, to recap:
It starts off promisingly, but has a couple of fantastic opportunities missed. Gets into it's stride and then finishes on a high note.
Again, (and this has been a common problem with many entries) there is a little too much restraint being shown. I want to feel your Howling Fury, Ducati. You should sound like a Monster at full chat being chased by Plod - not a Honda staying within the speed limits..
Would be 9/10
But you missed out 'Them'.
Void.[lol]
ShelleyCowie
21-Feb-10, 01:14
am i still winning? cos i wud really like the prize cos im starvin! [lol]
Tubthumper
21-Feb-10, 01:16
No way Shelly - you scoffed a whole pizza, Pakora, beetroot AND a gallon of Irn Bru. You're greedy that's what you are!
Just because you're expecting doesn't give you an excuse ---- Oh have I said someting untoward?
Whoops!
Who's ego are we feeding in this thread? Is it Northener, strutting about like some Nazi Ubersturmfuhrer, or our own need to feel part of his 'cluck'? Typical of those who wield dictatorial powers, he makes the rules up as he goes along. Or does he? Who is pulling his strings? Does the motorbike riding rebel have a puppet-master somewhere? I myself believe it to be a conspiracy! Just check his location, he's in the middle of the North Sea! Why is he there? He hasn't moved for months so what sustenance is he receiving? I believe he's the possessor of a submarine, enabling hm to stay underwater for months undetected while an evil plan is hatched. I strongly suspect he's going to try overthrow the owners of the Org!! Yes, you may gasp, that is his cunning plan. Why, Oh why didn't we spot it before? By starting this thread, all he's done is size up the opposition, analysed our posts to discover our strengths and weaknesses, to get a feel for what he may encounter when he launches his attack. We must inform the powers that be immediately, so that they may plan a pre-emptive strike. We must rally together to defeat them that will see the org as theirs for the taking. We must gather all our melons and grapefruit to form a barrier against his incoming missiles of rotten tomatoes and sour grapes, show him our skins are thicker than his.
We can, and will, thwart his and his masters evil plan.
roadbowler
21-Feb-10, 01:28
mine was so good it disappeared. Scored fairly high on the wey oot the door too. I win. Anywho yer cake is mouldy noo. ;)
ShelleyCowie
21-Feb-10, 01:29
No way Shelly - you scoffed a whole pizza, Pakora, beetroot AND a gallon of Irn Bru. You're greedy that's what you are!
Just because you're expecting doesn't give you an excuse ---- Oh have I said someting untoward?
Whoops!
I never ate the pakora tho! That was GG! And how dare u say ur off to bed then come on here and post! get til bed!!! [lol]
The straw that's broke the camels back!!! The latest missive from those bloody Health & Safety Nazi's at my work is access panels on the plant are not allowed to be hinged, they must be bolted all round instead of just one side. What flaming difference does it make? The panels still need a bloody spanner to undo them; if they are hinged, all it means is we don't hurt ourselves trying to support some heavy doors and lowering them to the ground. If you ask me it's a bloody Conspiracy, all Them H & S wallahs get together and discuss ways of keeping themselves in a job, and the more outrageous the idea, the better. I myself would be sick to the back teeth of the whole bunch, if I had any, so unlike this rant, I lack bite. Why, Oh why do we continue to put up with it? Perhaps the best thing to do is scrap the whole plant and just leave a huge empty space, that way we are unlikely to get hurt walking into, under, over or through anything. All that will be there is fresh air, and that can't hurt. Oh, silly me...what about the CO2 levels? I suppose we'll still need to wear masks. I know many of us need our jobs but surely there must come a time when we all stand together and tell all and sundry to BOG OFF, and stop being bloody petty.
Rant over.
Not bad at all, Jox.
Almost bordering on the sensible though, don't you think? It would have been better with a couple of cheap shots at the corporate lickspittles and a smidgin more in the insult department.
It would rate an 8.5/10.
But you missed out "the powers that be"...
So you get nuffin.
Do I get extra points for my rant being *true?
*Yes, it really is true!! [disgust]
Why oh why is it tell me that as soon as you start a blatantly trolly thread about praising poss. the most unpopular person on the planet the first six replies you get agree with you!
Then, after the MODs change the name of the thread just ‘cos I called it: Inflammatory Thread and its all going nicy nicy and its just a gentle stroll down memory lane, apart from BB who seemed to have a bit of a Bee in his bonnet about her being some kind of Nazi, murdering bitch (although I’ve just noticed he thinks she's hot now). I get a red card
Then when I myself close the thread ('cos I don't want another prefraction from them) everybody starts asking you one at a time why you closed the thread! It’s a bliddy conspiracy that’s what it is.
Anyway it’s an outrage I'm gonner see about that with the powers that be… erk! Mmmmph MMmmph MMMMPH!
Eyesight malfunction again, if you're going to get a dog at least show him what you want to see!
What the hell is this game your playing here?
This is just blatant trolling and flaming of the forum for your own twisted amusement I imagine, you need to get out more. Get a life.
You really are beginning to take on a whole new cyber embodiment of twisted mischief making with your nefarious goings on on the.org and underhand shenanigans. Making the whole thing a Karno's for the modern world.
There is no doubt in my mind that this is conspiracy of gargantuan volume, I am sure the powers that be are merely pawns in your futile, pathetic little game.
And what you and none of your imbecilic little cronies have an answer for, is just what did happen to Rheghead? Silenced, I'm sure by 'Them' and yet no one is prepared to do anything about it, or are you too being groomed by the Bilderberg Group. I myself sit off grid and out of reach of your reptilian mind control games. All my plug sockets have those child safety things in them so you can't use the power lines to listen to my thoughts, ha ha ! You weren't expecting that were you, I'm no bozo, ......Bozo.
David Icke is my god, he knows just what your upto, he saw it coming years ago. He's even got a DVD box set and survival guide to protect us from the likes of you and the Illuminate: http://www.thefallofamerica.net/
Whilst were on the subject of Icke....BLOODY BREAKFAST TELEVISION, THAT WAS THE DOWNFALL OF THIS COUNTRY. A media invasion from our first waking moment expunging all reasonable thought from our minds, no wonder were in the quagmire were in now. Dilly dallying about with the banks and while were not looking the Argies will take the Shetlands again and before you know it the French will be blockading Calais and the Chunnel trains will stop "because its too cold" or "wrong kind of snow" on the lines.
And don't even think about talking to me about nimby, with all these bloody turbine Nazis, "You will be Turbinated", the bloody government giving away the country's gold to build windfarms in our own backyards and for what good?
Telling us we need to be green and recycle or rubbish, yeah, yeah, yeah, lead from the front why don't you? You don't see a turbine on 10 Downing St do you, oh no, that can't happen, won't be in keeping with the area will it, planners can't be having that.
Whitehall and Westminster Palace is full of wastes of space so a few more won't hurt will they.
And another thing ,ITV 3 plus 1 or whatever the hell it is, wouldn't that be channel 4 in old money. Why, Oh why can't they just call it what it is fer crisake. A spades a spade and all that, why do we need all these fancy shmancy names fer things.
We've just gone too bloody PC lilly livered "we've got rights yer know" crazy. It all started when we let wimmin in the tap rooms, that was the beginning of the end that was. And we didn't stop there did we, OH NO! Just kept going didn't we, female vicars, female MP's whatever next a female Prime Minister!!
It's just wrong. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!
And we've opened the doors to our country to any Tom, Dick or Harry. Oh yes come in one and all, bloody incomers I tell yer, destroy the place they will.
Workhouses, that's what this country needs. Get the unwashed and unwanted of the streets and out of my sight. I don't want to be looking at all these low class individuals with their problems and "poor little me" syndromes. Parasitically leeching the system and blaming society for all their ills and misfortune, fer gods sake get a grip and pull yerself together. And those that want to express their individuality by wearing brightly coloured garments in public, IT'S A DISGRACE I TELL YOU!
Conform or begger off I say. We don't underclass people invading my our public space, breathing my air. It would become contaminated with all sorts of........eeuuurrgghhh....I dread to think.
Nicholas Winterton knows what he's on about, too bloody right.
THERE'S A CLASS SYSTEM FOR A REASON, KNOW YOUR BLOODY PLACE WILL YOU!!
northener
21-Feb-10, 18:12
I need a lie down....I'm pished.
changilass
21-Feb-10, 18:35
Good rant Phill, 9.5 from me, would have been a 10 had you come back to your original point at the end.
I need a lie down....I'm pished.
That scores a perfect 10 in my book [lol]
David Banks
21-Feb-10, 23:27
Notwithstanding the lovely weather they are having at the winter olympics on the wet coast - aka the left coast . . .
Do you know that it gets soooo cold in Canada in the winter, that homeless people regularly DIE because of the cold?
Do you know that it gets soooo hot in Canada in the summer, that homeless people and housed elderly people without air conditioning regularly DIE because of the heat?
What sort of country have I chosen to live in that would allow such things to happen?
Do I have to blame living next to the US - where people are free to die any way they like - as the only plausable excuse?
What on earth is going on here? All the invective, sarcasm, prejudice and anger that is the life blood of the ORG is being bled away by a conspiracy to instigate a lemming like rush to be the first to hit the rubble at the bottom of the cliff.
Obviously the Moderators have been studying Nazi tactics and have now mounted their sleekit startegy to draw the venom from cotributors fangs and to emasculate the message board so they can sit back on their bloated behinds. Meantime their vulpan stool pigeon Northener preens his scurf ridden Aryan plummage on a perch above the dropping bespattered debris of a once proudly independent message board.
What might you ask is to be the reward for this quisling scum bag from the powers that be? I myself believe nothing less than a take over of our native home bred Caithness beligerence on behalf of his henchmen in the Gaelic Mafia.
They are softening us up for the arrival of the National Mod. All place names, roadsigns, signs in public toilets, and communication with authority will be bilingual for 6 months and then suddenly you will find yourselves completely isolated in an all gaelic world. Special constables will stalk the streets and bars issueing on the spot fines for any word of English and a weekend in the stocks at Spittal crossroads with a keen wind howling off the causeway mire and the flows for anything remotely like Caithness dialect.
An annual barefoot penance march to the top of Morven with recitations of Brochan loum at various outcrops facing to the Western Isles would also be manadatory to commemorate the arrival of the first Mod in Caithness. Why o why have we let the Gaelic jack boot gain a toehold on our native heath.
It must be something in the water and obviously the Hoy pumping station is where the insidious drug is being drip fed into purest Loch Calder. No longer will you be faced with a Gaelic Mafios making you an offer you cannot understand. It all now only to clear, Caithness dialect is consigned to the scrap heap of revisionism and Gaelic will be our lingua franca.
At your peril do not let them cross the Ord or slip past the split stane in the dead of night I myself know this is the case I have seen their advace guard infiltrating past our natural boundaries. Before it is all to late. Rise up you powers that be they shall not take our freedom!
What on earth is going on here? All the invective, sarcasm, prejudice and anger that is the life blood of the ORG is being bled away by a conspiracy to instigate a lemming like rush to be the first to hit the rubble at the bottom of the cliff.
Obviously the Moderators have been studying Nazi tactics and have now mounted their sleekit startegy to draw the venom from cotributors fangs and to emasculate the message board so they can sit back on their bloated behinds. Meantime their vulpan stool pigeon Northener preens his scurf ridden Aryan plummage on a perch above the dropping bespattered debris of a once proudly independent message board.
What might you ask is to be the reward for this quisling scum bag from the powers that be? I myself believe nothing less than a take over of our native home bred Caithness beligerence on behalf of his henchmen in the Gaelic Mafia.
They are softening us up for the arrival of the National Mod. All place names, roadsigns, signs in public toilets, and communication with authority will be bilingual for 6 months and then suddenly you will find yourselves completely isolated in an all gaelic world. Special constables will stalk the streets and bars issueing on the spot fines for any word of English and a weekend in the stocks at Spittal crossroads with a keen wind howling off the causeway mire and the flows for anything remotely like Caithness dialect.
An annual barefoot penance march to the top of Morven with recitations of Brochan loum at various outcrops facing to the Western Isles would also be manadatory to commemorate the arrival of the first Mod in Caithness. Why o why have we let the Gaelic jack boot gain a toehold on our native heath.
It must be something in the water and obviously the Hoy pumping station is where the insidious drug is being drip fed into purest Loch Calder. No longer will you be faced with a Gaelic Mafios making you an offer you cannot understand. It all now only to clear, Caithness dialect is consigned to the scrap heap of revisionism and Gaelic will be our lingua franca.
At your peril do not let them cross the Ord or slip past the split stane in the dead of night I myself know this is the case I have seen their advace guard infiltrating past our natural boundaries. Before it is all to late. Rise up you powers that be they shall not take our freedom!
Oooh, that's good, I like it.
But it's not quite a full on spittle lathering rant, more of a considered statement.
I'd give it an 8.5/10, more CAPS/SHOUTING would get it near 10/10 IMHO.
I parked a skip outside my neighbour’s house for six months and he had the affront to get all cross about it. I don’t know what the world is coming to when you don’t have the freedom to park stuff on the queens highway without some kind of Nazi taking offence and reporting you to the powers that be.
People say the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence? NO IT IS NOT I climbed my stepladder and looked over the fence and my neighbour’s grass is a DISGRACE!
The other night my neighbour was playing music at 8.00pm !! so I went round to see them to complain, and they were having a party! And they hadn’t EVEN invited me! And the guests were my other neighbours. That one across the street always going on about my hedge, the one down the road who just won’t forget I backed into his car because he had parked it wrong. The one, always complaining my dog poos on his lawn. The other one next door that my pond flooded. What kind of conspiracy is this?
I myself had a party only last week and no one came!
Just because you threaten to burn someone’s house down because you don’t like the colour of their fence, IS THAT ANY REASON TO CALL THE POLICE? And then, and then the police arrest you for breach of the peace and assault.
Then, when you go to court and some 18 year old tyke of a solicitor tells you to plead guilty and pay the fine (£200!!!) rather than demand a jury trial and you punch his lights out you get done for affray and breach of the peace and contempt of court!!
AND assault with a deadly weapon (who’d of thought a brief case could have done soo much damage?).
AND once you go to prison the FOOD IS DIABOLICAL…………..
WHY Oh WHY do you do a perfectly good rant............
The real evils in life come masquerading as "advantages" "how did you ever live without it?" "My grannie is 86 and she loves it." "my whoie family thinks it's fun"
By now you have guessed I am talking about Facebook.
Talking?
Screaming more like it!
If you ever wondered about the Nazi survivors who didn't make it to Argentina I'll tell you where they went.
They are hidden in full sight. On Wall St., in our schools, everywhere we have money, everyrhere everywhere.
We all used to have privacy as a fundamental human right but nowadays it belongs to the powers that be. Is it a conspiracy? That my friends is too weak a word to explain the why of why.
I myself am trapped. I took out an account with Facebook. I found I hated all the alleged "friends" who took over my computer. Half the planet are now my friends.
How do I escape the tentacles of Facebook - I can see it at work on the dead eyes of passers by in the street, it's like being invaded by another planet. Did I say "like" - it's not "like" i's what's really happening.
There's only one thing I can do. I go to Holborn Head. I have a backpack full of bottles. In each one there is a message. I hurl my bottles into the sea. I give them to he tide. In the hoipes there is someone out there uncontaminated.
What is the message in each bottle? DO you think I'd ever tell you?????? HAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
changilass
23-Feb-10, 17:54
Good rant Rich, 9.75/10 from me.
You got the extra .75 for the maniacle laugh at the end.
Couldnae give 10 cos that would be perfection and I think by its very nature, a rant cannot be perfect.
I like Rich's element of wild eyed paranoia. You just know if you met someone like that in a pub you'd have to beat a hasty trip to the exit before he pinned you in a corner with his spittle flecked craziness.
We should include a mark for terror and Hannibal Lecter quality to disturb a good night's sleep.
Has the Binmeister given up on this thread? Pah, and I thought he was made of strong stuff, how wrong was I? :roll:
Has the Binmeister given up on this thread? Pah, and I thought he was made of strong stuff, how wrong was I? :roll:
If his eyesight is anything to go by, I think he might have a bit of a mem. issue :roll:
northener
27-Feb-10, 16:14
Oi!
Not dead, just resting.....
I'll do the judging of the latest entries later on tonight, thanks for the additional opinions - I'll take them into account as well.:Razz
Oi!
Not dead, just resting.....
I'll do the judging of the latest entries later on tonight, thanks for the additional opinions - I'll take them into account as well.:Razz
I'm quite sure northener (if that really is your name, it's spelt wrong) that you regret starting this thread, but it aint going away so suck it up! :mad:
I'm quite sure northener (if that really is your name, it's spelt wrong)
Well I never Ducati is here a little over 5 mins in Org time and he has joined the Spelling Polis already [lol]
Does that score as a rant???
Well I never Ducati is here a little over 5 mins in Org time and he has joined the Spelling Polis already [lol]
Does that score as a rant???
It is Police!-I dont know wat u ar torking about
Its about time this was resurrected reading some of the threads and posts over the last few days.
Why oh why are people never satisfied with what they have???
If its not moaning about the Icelandic Volcanoes it’s complaining about the eateries in Wick or the price of a taxi Nazi or the vampires in Portgower, it's a conspiracy! Then there's beards and uglys and ugly people with beards then there is thongs and songs and calendars and teeth and poles and the election of the powers that be and the price of diesel and the slow cold trains and windmills not turning or turning too fast, parking at tesco and door dings and no one wants to own up and then we’re giving away castles!
What is the world coming to.......
As you know I myself never complain but I have never been so slightly irritated by all the above in all my born days, it’s an outrage.
Them them Aaarrghh
Amy-Winehouse
17-Apr-10, 10:07
What is wrong all you lot on here ????????
Not content with trying to put a taxi driver out of business by slagging (and some you didnt) him without knowing the facts , you have now turned the finger at Morags Cafe :eek: Why ??
A question to you mods, you are quick to move sports threads so why not the thread slagging Morags. DONt insult our intelligence by saying you can only Moderate some things- BULL, If you can be nit picky over someones signature why not Morags ????
Rant over[evil]
Kevin Milkins
17-Apr-10, 10:26
What is wrong all you lot on here ????????
Not content with trying to put a taxi driver out of business by slagging (and some you didnt) him without knowing the facts , you have now turned the finger at Morags Cafe :eek: Why ??
A question to you mods, you are quick to move sports threads so why not the thread slagging Morags. DONt insult our intelligence by saying you can only Moderate some things- BULL, If you can be nit picky over someones signature why not Morags ????
Rant over[evil]
I thought the procedure for getting a post removed because they are unfair, inappropriate, etc , was to press the http://forum.caithness.org/images/buttons/report.gif (http://forum.caithness.org/report.php?p=692516) button in the top right hand corner and bring the thread to the attention of the moderators.
They can then judge by the ammount of complaints and content, as to whether or not to remove or close a thread.
What is wrong all you lot on here ????????
Not content with trying to put a taxi driver out of business by slagging (and some you didnt) him without knowing the facts , you have now turned the finger at Morags Cafe :eek: Why ??
A question to you mods, you are quick to move sports threads so why not the thread slagging Morags. DONt insult our intelligence by saying you can only Moderate some things- BULL, If you can be nit picky over someones signature why not Morags ????
Rant over[evil]
Seems a lot to say about Morags:
Apr 10: http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=105421 (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=105421)
Mar 08: http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=45343&highlight=morags (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=45343&highlight=morags)
Aug 08: http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=54246&highlight=morags (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=54246&highlight=morags)
Sep 06: http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=14237&highlight=morags (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=14237&highlight=morags)
Aug 06: http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=12765&highlight=morags (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=12765&highlight=morags)
I've seen your political cadidates. Walking around shaking hands. They think we don't notice what's really going on.
But we do, dont we, you and I - I can see you are real smart.
Hhmmm, I like the feel of your jacket. Very expensive. Did your Ma pay for it? I'm sure your Ma's a lovely lady. Devoted I should think.
That's lovely. Happy families, eh!!!! (Just wait...)
Come here, a wee bit closer, just turn your head round I wont hurt you.
I'm gonna share this with you; and then you'll see.
Away with the scales around the eyes, eh, see things afresh, that's pretty good is it not OLD BEAN?
I'm calling you Old Bean because you're English, I can tell. If I thought you were Scottish I would call you AULD SPICE!!!
Oh, God, I'm funny. Always was. I was the funny one in the family.
What dae ye mean you can see that?
Haud On,Haud On, I'm just joking. Oh, is that your pint I just drank. I'm so sorry.
But you would not deny a poor auld Scotsman a wee sensation.
Good lad ye are, I can see that, be careful, watch how you go there are folk out there who could harm you. Oh, not me, no son, not me
Right, here it is. This is gonna change yer life. Politics right. Cameron and Brown and the rest of them should be ashamed. They are traitors. They are lower than that,even.
One word:
SHOES!!!!!
Have you noticed the rubber soles they're all wearing. Rubber soles, do you get my point.
Aye the mother ship is up there. That's where they get the shoes To transmit messages to them. Aye the aliens say just get in touch with the lads down below and tell them the weather forecast is for VOLCANOES.
What do you mean rubber doesn't transmit messages? This is rubber from Mars, you dunce.
Gie's another pint or I'll put the rubberized boot tae ye, ye wee jumped up snottery snob...
Amy-Winehouse
18-Apr-10, 19:01
Seems a lot to say about Morags:
Apr 10: http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=105421 (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=105421)
Mar 08: http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=45343&highlight=morags (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=45343&highlight=morags)
Aug 08: http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=54246&highlight=morags (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=54246&highlight=morags)
Sep 06: http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=14237&highlight=morags (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=14237&highlight=morags)
Aug 06: http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=12765&highlight=morags (http://forum.caithness.org/showthread.php?t=12765&highlight=morags)
It says on the thread title, Make your own rant, So I did with a little help from everyone on here(or a few rwather) But I feel better now :D
It says on the thread title, Make your own rant, So I did with a little help from everyone on here(or a few rwather) But I feel better now :D
Well done Amy, that's what it is here for :lol:
I am of a certain age :(
I have a smart phone because I need to get my emails when I am travelling for work.
I recently needed to resurrect my old Nokia because I accidently gave someone my old number (certain age you see?).
It struck me that it is completely intuitive to use, I can see the screen without having to faf about getting my reading glasses out every time it rings. Its easy to hold and is shaped vaguely like a telephone.
My smart phone, has a billion functions that I use 2 of. I'm forever dropping it because there is no easy or natural way to hold it. The screen is quite big but is completely covered in tiny graphics that mean nothing to me, none of the ring tones sound like a ring tone or are loud enough to hear unless you are actually holding the thing. If you want to do anything with it, you have to put on glasses find a dark corner before you can decifer the screen. Oh, its on 3 so you hardly ever get any reception..anywhere.
Is it just me? :eek:
The Drunken Duck
30-Apr-10, 12:21
I am of a certain age :(
I have a smart phone because I need to get my emails when I am travelling for work.
I recently needed to resurrect my old Nokia because I accidently gave someone my old number (certain age you see?).
It struck me that it is completely intuitive to use, I can see the screen without having to faf about getting my reading glasses out every time it rings. Its easy to hold and is shaped vaguely like a telephone.
My smart phone, has a billion functions that I use 2 of. I'm forever dropping it because there is no easy or natural way to hold it. The screen is quite big but is completely covered in tiny graphics that mean nothing to me, none of the ring tones sound like a ring tone or are loud enough to hear unless you are actually holding the thing. If you want to do anything with it, you have to put on glasses find a dark corner before you can decifer the screen. Oh, its on 3 so you hardly ever get any reception..anywhere.
Is it just me? :eek:
No. Its also me.
I went shopping for a new mobile phone recently and just gave up. I want a phone that allows me to store numbers and call and text people. And also rings when people call me and I can then speak to them. I don't think that's too much to expect ??
I don't want a camera on it. I have a proper camera.
I don't want an MP3 on it. I have an Ipod.
I don't want the internet on it. I have a laptop.
Trying to explain this to the annoyingly enthusiastic sock puppets who stand their repeatedly saying things like "but you can check Facebook on the move !!" like being able to check what a mate is "LOL"ing about today means anything at all. It always ends up with a ghost image of me floating out of my body and beating them to death with an iphone. Meanwhile inside my head this is being repeated over and over while I struggle to maintain my composure.
I JUST WANT A PHONE YOU GLASS EYED VACANT HEADED PRETENTIOUS GIT .. A PHONE TO SPEAK ON AND THAT'S IT !! .. ITS NOT THAT HARD IS IT ?? .. I DON'T CARE ABOUT FACEBOOK OR GPS OR EVEN AN APPLICATION THAT CAN TELL ME HOW MANY CALORIES MY SUBWAY SANDWICH HAS .. I DON'T NEED A WEATHER FORECAST ON MY PHONE I HAVE EYES AND A WINDOW AND CAN SEE FOR MYSELF !! .. I JUST WANT A PHONE TO TALK ON .. NOW CAN YOU DO THAT ?? .. CAN YOU ??
Still haven't got a new phone though. I think what I want is mission impossible.
I can sell you an INQ? phone. Hardly used-dropped a few times :roll:
No. Its also me.
I went shopping for a new mobile phone recently and just gave up. I want a phone that allows me to store numbers and call and text people. And also rings when people call me and I can then speak to them. I don't think that's too much to expect ??
I don't want a camera on it. I have a proper camera.
I don't want an MP3 on it. I have an Ipod.
I don't want the internet on it. I have a laptop.
Trying to explain this to the annoyingly enthusiastic sock puppets who stand their repeatedly saying things like "but you can check Facebook on the move !!" like being able to check what a mate is "LOL"ing about today means anything at all. It always ends up with a ghost image of me floating out of my body and beating them to death with an iphone. Meanwhile inside my head this is being repeated over and over while I struggle to maintain my composure.
I JUST WANT A PHONE YOU GLASS EYED VACANT HEADED PRETENTIOUS GIT .. A PHONE TO SPEAK ON AND THAT'S IT !! .. ITS NOT THAT HARD IS IT ?? .. I DON'T CARE ABOUT FACEBOOK OR GPS OR EVEN AN APPLICATION THAT CAN TELL ME HOW MANY CALORIES MY SUBWAY SANDWICH HAS .. I DON'T NEED A WEATHER FORECAST ON MY PHONE I HAVE EYES AND A WINDOW AND CAN SEE FOR MYSELF !! .. I JUST WANT A PHONE TO TALK ON .. NOW CAN YOU DO THAT ?? .. CAN YOU ??
Still haven't got a new phone though. I think what I want is mission impossible.
DD, there is a photograph of the month award.....I think you win the Rant of the week award [lol]
So I did a rant mentioning NONE of the topics.
A bold move, dont you think!
Calculated?
Um...no.
Laphroaged?
Um...yes.
The Drunken Duck
30-Apr-10, 15:29
I can sell you an INQ? phone. Hardly used-dropped a few times :roll:
Nah .. I have gone to Tesco and bought a pay as you go one. Its great, it just does what I want it to. Namely speak to people, store numbers and send texts. Don't know why I didn't think of just going there first.
I think its faulty, though. I sent the other half a text saying "Inbound for Lunch. Twenty Minutes. Get cracking in the Kitchen" earlier and it made her very angry. Must be something to do with the message settings .. :D
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