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ShelleyCowie
13-Feb-10, 22:41
No i do not want fighting on this thread, i will lock it. Its just a general query.

Iv just watched a program "Leaving Home at 8" and it broke my heart. Those little girls crying for their mum.

I do understand that Bording Schools have been proven to be able to teach a broader range of skills etc etc. I really do understand that.

I just could not stand being seperated from my kids. Never! I enjoy walking to school with my OH's sons, and i cant wait to take athrun. Doing their homework with them. Tucking them in at night.

So my question is...could you seperate yourself from your child?

As you guessed.....my answer is no!!

telfordstar
13-Feb-10, 22:48
Im with you Shelley I couldnt do it with any of my 3 not in a month of sundays. Im guessing the full time high flying career parents depend on then though.

dragonfly
13-Feb-10, 22:52
So my question is...could you seperate yourself from your child

oh lord YES! :lol:

bingo1
13-Feb-10, 22:55
no way i beleive little ones need their mum and dads.

rob1
13-Feb-10, 23:13
Just a few days after my 10th birthday I was sent to boarding school and my younger brother was 9 1/2 when he went. There were somedays when I wished I wasn't there but on the whole I had a great time and made some good friends. I am sure my folks wondered whether they were doing the right thing at times but I know now that is was the best thing for me and that none of us have any regrets.

ShelleyCowie
13-Feb-10, 23:15
Just a few days after my 10th birthday I was sent to boarding school and my younger brother was 9 1/2 when he went. There were somedays when I wished I wasn't there but on the whole I had a great time and made some good friends. I am sure my folks wondered whether they were doing the right thing at times but I know now that is was the best thing for me and that none of us have any regrets.

can i be nosey and ask what school it was u went to?

Im glad you had a good time at the school. Im sure many children or parents would never regret it.

Im just a very clingy mother to my son. lol. Struggle to sleep without him when he is staying round at grannys which is round the corner :eek:

Rictina
13-Feb-10, 23:51
No, sorry there is no way that I would send any of my kids to a boarding school.

Serenity
13-Feb-10, 23:52
If I ever have kids and still live up here I would send them off. It would hurt but at least they would get a decent education unlike at the local schools where it seems everyone has to be dragged down to the level of the lowest.

rob1
14-Feb-10, 00:30
can i be nosey and ask what school it was u went to?

Im glad you had a good time at the school. Im sure many children or parents would never regret it.

Im just a very clingy mother to my son. lol. Struggle to sleep without him when he is staying round at grannys which is round the corner :eek:

I went to a school called Aberlour House and then went on to Gordonstoun

wickscorrie
14-Feb-10, 01:27
would usually say never, but after the parenting minefield of this afternoon, i think say at this moment in time, i would be very close to saying yes!

heaven help me for trying to make a 12 yr old be a bitty more civil (can appreciate hormones but when hers met mine (pms argh!) this afternoon it weren't pretty) and at least boarding school would have avoided it

hopefully hormones will be a bit more settled 2moro and then i could get back to saying no way to boarding school

then again for the level of education, could be tempted

chaz
14-Feb-10, 12:06
If I ever have kids and still live up here I would send them off. It would hurt but at least they would get a decent education unlike at the local schools where it seems everyone has to be dragged down to the level of the lowest.

I agree and if i could afford it mine would be away at high school age,yes i would miss them, but thier education is more important.Our local primary i have praise for,but high school very little.I have two at high school just now and one at primary.Oh and two who went to high school that have left.

balto
14-Feb-10, 12:31
oh lord YES! :lol:
with you here, but mayby not a young age.[lol]

ShelleyCowie
14-Feb-10, 13:27
Some interesting responses here folks! :)

I too am not sure of that the level of education given at the high schools here are even worth a child going to. I slightly dread my children going there because i want them to have a good education. Can our high school provide that?

BRIE
14-Feb-10, 14:01
When I was younger I was desperate to go to boarding school! It looked like great fun with horse riding, windsurfing etc but my mum refused to let me go!
Now im a mum myself I understand why, but for my childrens sake i would definately consider sending them to boarding school at high school age I think it would benefit them for their future.

ShelleyCowie
14-Feb-10, 14:12
:eek: I just checked the fees for the private schools....and i have to just say wow!!! It can cost from £10,260 - £15,366.

Thats really really....thats just shocking lol

Moby
14-Feb-10, 14:33
Shelley - there are some fantastic teachers at Thurso High don't you fret.

flowertot
14-Feb-10, 14:53
"If I ever have kids and still live up here I would send them off. It would hurt but at least they would get a decent education unlike at the local schools where it seems everyone has to be dragged down to the level of the lowest."


On what do you base these comments Serenity?

ShelleyCowie
14-Feb-10, 14:57
Shelley - there are some fantastic teachers at Thurso High don't you fret.

Oh i know that! I had some brilliant teachers who cared dearly about the subject they taught. I think i have just heard a few too many horror stories.

I would like for the school to crack down on the uniforms though. I thought the kids looked really smart, but now i see a majority of the pupils back to wearing what they want again.

northener
14-Feb-10, 15:05
:eek: I just checked the fees for the private schools....and i have to just say wow!!! It can cost from £10,260 - £15,366.

Thats really really....thats just shocking lol

£2-300 per week? That would only just get you BB&EM in a cheap hotel for a week. You may find that that fee is per term not per year...dunno, though. If it is per year than it's a bloody good deal IMO.

I've a few friends who went to public school, they certainly weren't bursting into tears at the gates, although they all said it took them a bit of time to settle in.

If I had kids and could afford, I'd do it with no hesitation whatsoever.

ShelleyCowie
14-Feb-10, 15:09
£2-300 per week? That would only just get you BB&EM in a cheap hotel for a week. You may find that that fee is per term not per year...dunno, though. If it is per year than it's a bloody good deal IMO.

I've a few friends who went to public school, they certainly weren't bursting into tears at the gates, although they all said it took them a bit of time to settle in.

If I had kids and could afford, I'd do it with no hesitation whatsoever.

Sorry have just checked and it can go up to over £27,000 per year. The link is here http://www.isbi.com/isbi-viewschool/2833-Gordonstoun_School_and_Aberlour_House,_The_Junior_ School-2.html

I could never afford that anyway. My OH doesnt make that in a year lol

brandy
14-Feb-10, 15:15
i want to go to a boarding school forget the kids.. they can stay home with their dad! *G*

Serenity
14-Feb-10, 16:00
"If I ever have kids and still live up here I would send them off. It would hurt but at least they would get a decent education unlike at the local schools where it seems everyone has to be dragged down to the level of the lowest."


On what do you base these comments Serenity?

Personal experience of attending a local high school for 6 years.

crayola
14-Feb-10, 16:01
Personal experience of attending a local high school for 6 years.Interesting comment. I am genuinely interested. Can you elaborate?

Serenity
14-Feb-10, 16:34
Well I don't really want to take the thread off topic but I think more classes should be split according to ability. The standard grade science classes in particular were a joke (and I took all three sciences). Mixed in with so many people who just didn't want to be there and who were aiming for general grades. Maths, French and English were a lot better (they were split according to ability).
There are good teachers there but too many struggle to control the pupils. I don't know if that has changed since I left.

crayola
14-Feb-10, 16:41
Thanks for replying. :)

I thought the experiment of mixing abilities like that had been abandoned decades ago. Most classes were streamed in Thurso High School in the 70s and it's like that now down here. Indeed they stream them in Primary School down here.

This isn't really off-topic, I had friends who were sent down the line to boarding school because their parents thought they would get a better education. In the end, none of them did as well as those in my inner peer group that stayed but that's probably not due to failure of their boarding schools.

Leanne
14-Feb-10, 17:42
:eek: I just checked the fees for the private schools....and i have to just say wow!!! It can cost from £10,260 - £15,366.

Thats really really....thats just shocking lol

But how much does general childcare cost...

How many parents are that knackered by the end of the week that they just cannot find the energy to do bonding times at the weekend?

I have my own reason consider boarding school but I don't think I'll share my reasons why yet for fear of being jumped on...

Serenity
14-Feb-10, 17:51
It might have changed since I was there. It wasn't too long ago but a few years. I think most state schools with that kind of catchment would have similar problems though. You have to include everyone but that can sometimes be to the detriment of those who genuinely want to learn and do well.

Olin
14-Feb-10, 17:56
No i do not want fighting on this thread, i will lock it. Its just a general query.

Iv just watched a program "Leaving Home at 8" and it broke my heart. Those little girls crying for their mum.

I do understand that Bording Schools have been proven to be able to teach a broader range of skills etc etc. I really do understand that.

I just could not stand being seperated from my kids. Never! I enjoy walking to school with my OH's sons, and i cant wait to take athrun. Doing their homework with them. Tucking them in at night.

So my question is...could you seperate yourself from your child?

As you guessed.....my answer is no!!


No I do not want fighting in your reply but just a general question....

Just how many hours a day do you spend sitting on caithness.org?

Leanne
14-Feb-10, 18:01
Just how many hours a day do you spend sitting on caithness.org?

There's a lot of parents that don't spend 'quality' time with their children. TV is a good substitute for play with siblings/friends/parents. How many parents feel like an idiot nowadays playing with dolls, playing hide and seek, playing with marbles? These are all things I have done with friends kids and they love it - it is something parents don't seem to do any more. Yes we have busy lives but we (the general we) have kids there to play with - do we play?

Edit - Kathy - not your kids - they are well occupied :) :) :)

chaz
14-Feb-10, 18:08
There's a lot of parents that don't spend 'quality' time with their children. TV is a good substitute for play with siblings/friends/parents. How many parents feel like an idiot nowadays playing with dolls, playing hide and seek, playing with marbles? These are all things I have done with friends kids and they love it - it is something parents don't seem to do any more. Yes we have busy lives but we (the general we) have kids there to play with - do we play?

Edit - Kathy - not your kids - they are well occupied :) :) :)

Very easy to judge as a non parent!
Sorry Shelly, you said no arguments.But its easy as a non parent to be judgemental.

Leanne
14-Feb-10, 18:16
Very easy to judge as a non parent!
Sorry Shelly, you said no arguments.But its easy as a non parent to be judgemental.

Doesn't make me any less right though in some cases.... Touched a nerve have I?

chaz
14-Feb-10, 18:47
:lol::lol: not at all with me

ShelleyCowie
14-Feb-10, 19:39
No I do not want fighting in your reply but just a general question....

Just how many hours a day do you spend sitting on caithness.org?

Thats really none of your business but not as much as i used to if you want to know. I always have my computer on so it shows me as online all the time. I come on it on the passing or when my son is in bed.

again though...what is it to you?!


There's a lot of parents that don't spend 'quality' time with their children. TV is a good substitute for play with siblings/friends/parents. How many parents feel like an idiot nowadays playing with dolls, playing hide and seek, playing with marbles? These are all things I have done with friends kids and they love it - it is something parents don't seem to do any more. Yes we have busy lives but we (the general we) have kids there to play with - do we play?

Edit - Kathy - not your kids - they are well occupied :) :) :)

I always have time to play with my son, always have the energy and i love doing it. I never ever feel like an idiot doing games with him, he loves them so thats all that matters.

So yes i always play games with him.

Leanne
14-Feb-10, 20:00
I always have time to play with my son, always have the energy and i love doing it. I never ever feel like an idiot doing games with him, he loves them so thats all that matters.

So yes i always play games with him.
Wasn't aimed at you. I said in my experience. I don't know you so how could I comment? God there's a lot of raw nerves exposed tonight ;)

ShelleyCowie
14-Feb-10, 20:30
Wasn't aimed at you. I said in my experience. I don't know you so how could I comment? God there's a lot of raw nerves exposed tonight ;)

Didnt say it was aimed at me tho....just answering a question you asked. Also on your first post you said

"But how much does general childcare cost...

How many parents are that knackered by the end of the week that they just cannot find the energy to do bonding times at the weekend?"

So to answer that....dont know how much childcare costs because i have never used it.

Im not fighting, just answering. :D

Yes being a parent is a tiring thing. But to me i really dont care if i am tired, as long as my son is fed, clothed, and is giggling away whilst playing Peek a boo a trillion times a day then im happy. :)

candycanegirl
14-Feb-10, 20:45
I went to boarding school as a child from the ages of about 8 till 12 and loved every minute of it. sure i had the occasional bouts of homesickness but I saw my parent regularly and enjoyed it as it was probably better than the time I spent with my parents, At the age of 12 we moved and consequently due to family circumstnaces my siblings and I could no linger go and had to atten the local new school. i enjoyed it just as much but did not enjoy being home with my parents! There was more to do at boarding school and life was farily predictable. If I could afford to I would definatley send my children perhaps not until high school age however.
It is worth remembering that all parents are not wonderful and many children find boarding school a much happier place than the one at home, even from an early age.

Vistravi
14-Feb-10, 21:11
It might have changed since I was there. It wasn't too long ago but a few years. I think most state schools with that kind of catchment would have similar problems though. You have to include everyone but that can sometimes be to the detriment of those who genuinely want to learn and do well.

Believe it has just got worse. My three brothers go there at the moment and my mum has had nothing but problems from the school. One of my brothers needs additonal support and the school is simply rubbish for him. My mum feels that miller academy were far better for him.

Vistravi
14-Feb-10, 21:20
There's a lot of parents that don't spend 'quality' time with their children. TV is a good substitute for play with siblings/friends/parents. How many parents feel like an idiot nowadays playing with dolls, playing hide and seek, playing with marbles? These are all things I have done with friends kids and they love it - it is something parents don't seem to do any more. Yes we have busy lives but we (the general we) have kids there to play with - do we play?

Edit - Kathy - not your kids - they are well occupied

I love playing with kids, But must admit i sometimes feel like an idiot but it doesn't bother me too much as the kids love it and i don't get left long to think about it.

As a personal choice our child will not be watching much tv if any. Neither my partner or myself watch tv our tv is for the xbox and the wii or for hooking the pc tower or laptop up to watch a film on a bigger screen. My partners mother has said she wants to watch in the night garden with our child but i've already said that it won't be happening. My partner's mum is a tv addict and one of my brothers is just as bad ;) I'm all for educational programs as they are learning something. I certainly enjoyed watching something and learning at the same time especilly nature programs.

Vistravi
14-Feb-10, 21:24
Thats really none of your business but not as much as i used to if you want to know. I always have my computer on so it shows me as online all the time. I come on it on the passing or when my son is in bed.

again though...what is it to you?!



I always have time to play with my son, always have the energy and i love doing it. I never ever feel like an idiot doing games with him, he loves them so thats all that matters.

So yes i always play games with him.


Your wee man wouldn't let you sit there in front of the pc in peace, he'd be wanting to do it too ;)

barmar62
14-Feb-10, 21:25
I worked in a boarding school down south for 6 years ( for ages 4 to 11) Although I would never send my children away it was the best thing that happened to some of them. We had children from "broken homes" referals from social services etc, just because the parents had money didn't make them good parents.
We offered a stable environment, small groups with a Mother figure to see to the children's general welfare when not in school etc. etc.,

brandy
14-Feb-10, 22:08
ahhh i love hearing the ideals of people that actually dont have children yet.. so naieve..*laughs* a little words of advice girls.. dont go preaching on what you will and wont do.. until youve actually done it. life never plays out the way you think it will.. and all those lofty ideas and plans.. will be blown out of the water..
im not knocking you..i was there at one time as well...
i can remember it so clearly..
head in the air..
im going to have a natural birth.. i dont want to sully my system with drugs.. ect..
on the day screaming.. give me an epidural.. i want my mama.. it hurts!! i dont want to do this anymore!!!
my child is not going to have junk food... he is going to eat healthily.. and not be given sweets..
yeah right...
im going to make all his baby food.. its so much better...
umm yes.. great when you can.. but always have a few tins in for emergencys!
and dont turn them orange like i did with carrots!
the tv is not going to be a babysitter.. i refuse to let my child sit in front of the boob tube..
the tv is always on even though no one is watching it until you turn it off.. then everyone was desprate to see that program that was on..
everything in moderation.. you will learn as you go.. their is no right and wrong in parenting..
keep your cool... have patience.. oh and for first time mums.. being in childcare.. working with children is NOTHING like having a child of your own.. belive me i know!!!
i was a pre-school teacher before i had children..
i worked with kids from birth to 5
im the oldest of 7 with seven more god siblings..
the day i brought sam home.. he screamed for 4 hours!
i called my mum.. crying saying.. oh god what do i do?
dont worry.. eventually you do get it...

Dadie
14-Feb-10, 22:13
And just when you think you have it cracked the kids have moved out and the grandkids appear:lol:

Thats what my Mum says anyway!

brandy
14-Feb-10, 22:15
oh god hope i dont have to deal with that for another 20 years at least.. have already said that if sam and amy end up together.. we will have to hide himfrom micheal!

Dadie
14-Feb-10, 22:21
I dont have a view on boarding schools other than if it works for you and the kids and you can afford it good for you!
Different kids flounder or thrive in different environments and all you can do as a parent is try your best to do what works for your kids (and not bankrupt yourself in the proccess)

squidge
14-Feb-10, 23:31
Mostparents do what they believe is right for them and their family. If for example you had a child who was wonderfully gifted in playing the flute, or a harp or something and wanted passionately to study that and the best place for them was a music school In Manchester - like Cheethams for example. Despite how much it hurt would you not consider it if thats what your child wanted (and they could get a scholarship:eek:)? Of course you would. Different families have different needs. We do whats best for our families and none of us should be made to feel guilty about it.

ShelleyCowie
15-Feb-10, 00:31
Squidge thats understandable. I will encourage my kids to embrace their talents like i kinda wished i had with my talents. But i will encourage it to the best of my financial abilities. Also i really still dont think i could seperate from them at 8 years old.

annemarie482
15-Feb-10, 01:57
i know a good few little "horrors" i'd gladly ship away to boarding school!
prob do a better job raising them than their parents anyway!:lol:

LMS
15-Feb-10, 09:12
Personal experience of attending a local high school for 6 years.

Well I went to a local high school for 5 years and can't say that it was that bad that I would ship my children off to boarding school. There were some little beauts to contend with, but I made the best of it.

I am a firm believer in children taking the opportunity when it is there. Far too many bleat at a later stage about 'their lack of education in poor local schools' in order to make up for their own educational shortcomings. The teachers, the books and the pupils are there for 6/7 hours a day, but then there is another 5/6 at home, and there's even the Internet these days!! Where there is a will, there is a way. Everyone has their own potential and has to assume some responsibility for their/their children's education.

Even whilst at the local college, there was a disruptive set; but again it is up to the individual to extract what they need from the class. Some of the class didn't pass ONC level, and others kept going to post-graduate level.

It's the old story, if Caithness is soooooooooooooo bad - get Over the Ord and keep class numbers down for the rest of us. The majority of teachers do a pretty good job and unless there is a queue forming for the secondary teacher training courses, please don't give the existing teachers a persecution complex.

horseman
15-Feb-10, 09:15
I went to wick high,an loved every minute of it.

Serenity
15-Feb-10, 16:13
Well I went to a local high school for 5 years and can't say that it was that bad that I would ship my children off to boarding school. There were some little beauts to contend with, but I made the best of it.

I am a firm believer in children taking the opportunity when it is there. Far too many bleat at a later stage about 'their lack of education in poor local schools' in order to make up for their own educational shortcomings. The teachers, the books and the pupils are there for 6/7 hours a day, but then there is another 5/6 at home, and there's even the Internet these days!! Where there is a will, there is a way. Everyone has their own potential and has to assume some responsibility for their/their children's education.

Even whilst at the local college, there was a disruptive set; but again it is up to the individual to extract what they need from the class. Some of the class didn't pass ONC level, and others kept going to post-graduate level.

It's the old story, if Caithness is soooooooooooooo bad - get Over the Ord and keep class numbers down for the rest of us. The majority of teachers do a pretty good job and unless there is a queue forming for the secondary teacher training courses, please don't give the existing teachers a persecution complex.

I got top grades in most of the classes I did there. But I still feel I could have got more out of a better school. The local schools teach you how to pass exams, not the subject.
Also, for example, the advanced higher choices are very limited. It seems they cater 6th year more for people repeating highers that they failed than allowing you to progress further. Saying that I did manage to get 3.

Serenity
15-Feb-10, 16:14
Oh and do you honestly think if the roll number went down it would result in lower class sizes? No it would result in less teachers also.

pops
16-Feb-10, 12:10
and thats on the councils part not the schools. i'm sure lots of schools would like to have smaller classes but the its not up to them how many teachers they have, and with all these cuts its not likely to happen

Gronnuck
16-Feb-10, 14:45
:eek: I just checked the fees for the private schools....and i have to just say wow!!! It can cost from £10,260 - £15,366.

Thats really really....thats just shocking lol

Many Service families send their children to Boarding Schools and are eligible for grants to cover most of their costs. The reason they do it is because there might not be a school where they are posted or they don't want their child's education disturbed by constant upheaval every two or three years. For many it works but for some it doesn't. For any parent I don't think it is ever an easy decision.