View Full Version : How are the gender roles percieved?
How do you think the roles of men and women are percieved as? Is it the traditional approach or a more modern approach?
I ask this as i have been thinking about it lately due to becoming a mum for this first time this year. I want to only work part time as i don't want to miss seeing our child grow and develop. I want to see our child more than just in the morning and at night for bedtime. I want to be a working mum as i don't want my partner feeling that he has the sole responsibilty of keeping our household in order. I want him to enjoy his time with his child too and not worrying about making the money all the time.
Everyone's ideas of the roles of men and women are different and i just wondered as a whole what everyone thought the roles are.
(This is not a stereotype question, just a curious thought)
changilass
12-Feb-10, 19:13
I think everyones roles are different, depending on the people involved.
My hubby spends as much time with our child as I do.
The wee man deosn't find it strange that either of us wash up, make meals, weild a chainsaw (actually thats mine), chop wood.
I do, however, stay home whilst hubby goes to work. This is a matter of choice and something both of us decided on long before we ever had kids.
I really do think that its what makes you comfortable and that you shouldn'ty let others make your decisions for you.
Good luck and have fun, they grow up very very fast.
I think everyones roles are different, depending on the people involved.
My hubby spends as much time with our child as I do.
The wee man deosn't find it strange that either of us wash up, make meals, weild a chainsaw (actually thats mine), chop wood.
I do, however, stay home whilst hubby goes to work. This is a matter of choice and something both of us decided on long before we ever had kids.
I really do think that its what makes you comfortable and that you shouldn'ty let others make your decisions for you.
Good luck and have fun, they grow up very very fast.
I just can't wait to meet our child and get to know him/her. I'm a bit scared as don't know what to expect but i'm looking forward to it none the less.
onecalledk
12-Feb-10, 20:25
hi there
I dont see any difference between males and females with regard to work or bringing up children. When two people have a child they are equally responsible for that child. It should be entirely down to what each parent feels they want to do. So if the man is happy to cook then he should cook , if the woman is happy to put up shelves then she should put up shelves etc etc.
There is no difference expect the obvious physical differences between men and women. Gender roles are created by society.
K :-)
ShelleyCowie
12-Feb-10, 21:26
Obviously as you know Vistravi i dont work, my OH does. This is because he knew i wanted to stay at home with Athrun.
I did go back to work last summer for a while with my mum but didnt need a child-minder because i worked flexi-time.
My OH understands my desire to stay at home and he is happy to go to work for all of us.
And obviously i cant get a job now ;)
Obviously as you know Vistravi i dont work, my OH does. This is because he knew i wanted to stay at home with Athrun.
I did go back to work last summer for a while with my mum but didnt need a child-minder because i worked flexi-time.
My OH understands my desire to stay at home and he is happy to go to work for all of us.
And obviously i cant get a job now ;)
Running around after your wee man is a full time job ;) He's quite a energetic monkey lol.
ShelleyCowie
12-Feb-10, 21:39
Running around after your wee man is a full time job ;) He's quite a energetic monkey lol.
Definetely! Now that he is actually running around! The other day he just decided he wanted to run off and he aint been off his feet since! :eek: Mummy needs more coffee now! :lol:
hi there
I dont see any difference between males and females with regard to work or bringing up children. When two people have a child they are equally responsible for that child. It should be entirely down to what each parent feels they want to do. So if the man is happy to cook then he should cook , if the woman is happy to put up shelves then she should put up shelves etc etc.
There is no difference expect the obvious physical differences between men and women. Gender roles are created by society.
K :-)
Aye i agree.
I know i could stay at home with our child but i want to work part time but only part time as i don't want to be a mum that only sees thier child in the morning and at night for bedtime. I want to be able to spend the afternoons or mornings with out child.
Does anyone else think the same that gender roles are started from birth by putting a girl in pink and a boy in blue and people expecting this?
You can tell i've been thinking about this alot recently ;)
ShelleyCowie
12-Feb-10, 21:47
Does anyone else think the same that gender roles are started from birth by putting a girl in pink and a boy in blue and people expecting this?
You can tell i've been thinking about this alot recently ;)
You think waaaaaay too much! Lol
But i think that nowadays alot of people feel they have to dress their wee boy in blue or girl in pink because its quite frustrating when people say "is it a boy or a girl?"
I had athrun in creams, white and yellow for the first 6 weeks. I had nothing small enuf to fit him. But i always made sure he had a wee blue hat and mittens on him :Razz
You think waaaaaay too much! Lol
But i think that nowadays alot of people feel they have to dress their wee boy in blue or girl in pink because its quite frustrating when people say "is it a boy or a girl?"
I had athrun in creams, white and yellow for the first 6 weeks. I had nothing small enuf to fit him. But i always made sure he had a wee blue hat and mittens on him :Razz
Aye i know LOL :lol: I'm in a thoughtful mood ;)
As i don't like pink i would put a wee lassie in anything but pink lol. My sister did say to me but what if someone asks says what a lovely boy your daughter dressed in a bit of blue is? I just said that i wouldn't really mind and would just say she was a girl lol. If she was old enough to make the choice of what she wanted to wear and it was pink she wanted to wear then that would be fine as its her choice but untill she was old enough to voice her choice she would be going in anything but pink. (don't mind in socks though as i have some mad socks in weird colours)
Neutral colours are the way to go though as its so much easier to sell on if you decided to or to use for either.
I've always thought about how do children learn gender roles and when i've heard kids say things like "thats a girls toy" or "thats a boy toy" i've always wondered where it is they learn this from and expect this. It's an unanswered thought that occurs to me occasionally. Watching children play always makes me think about how we learn.
onecalledk
13-Feb-10, 00:08
there have been various studies done where a baby was dressed in a blue romper suit and then in a pink one. The person holding the baby was not told what sex the child actually was. The studies show quite clearly that people ASSUME the gender of the baby and treat accordingly. So the baby in the study whilst dressed in pink was handled very carefully but the SAME baby dressed in blue was handled more robustly.
The gender roles start from the moment that a child is born. By telling a child in nursery that something is a "girls toy" or a "boys toy" reinforces this. Telling boys that "boys dont cry, be a brave boy" also reinforces this.
Tis all nonsense , boys do cry just like girls do and shouldnt be made to feel guilty for doing so. It is not "unmanly" to cry. Just like being female doesnt mean that you arent violent.
why do we as a society need to put people in pigeon holes ? why does somebody have to fit into something. What is wrong with just being?
K
Just being who we are is fine but hey ho after four boys i delight in putting my darling wee girl in PINK PINK PINK. IM not ashamed of that nor embarrassed by that.
I stay at home with our babies. I like it. Because im at home, i do the washing, cooking and ironing and cleaning. If i struggle to get it done for whatever reason then the bruce helps, the older children have their own chores to do and they help with the wee ones too. The Bruce goes to work and does the woodcutting and shifting stuff and cleans the windows and things that i dont like doing ( including cleaning the oven yeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaa).
It seems to people that we are opting for "traditional roles" and i have been asked how i can consider myself to be a feminist when i have that sort of arrangement. My answer is that I can be whatever i want or choose to be. And thats the same for you vistravi - equality is about having the choice to do exactly that - arrange your life doing what you want to do. You do what suits you and your wee family. I have been a working mum with a stay at home husband, a single mum, a part-time working mum, a working mum with a working husband and I will no doubt be any or all of those things again. I do what suits my family with absolutely no regard for whether its a man's role or a woman's role.
Boozeburglar
13-Feb-10, 02:53
Squidge, I am surprised at you!
I thought you of all people would know pink was very much a man's colour in days of old.
No reason you had to wait to have a girl!
;)
BB is right.. traditionally Pink is a Mans color.. it is just recently (time wise) that it was designated for girls. it was only in the 20's that pink became for girls and blues for boys.. in fact blue was a girl color as it was considered delicate.
the roles of man and woman go back to our more primative days, and relate to the Hunter/Gather instincts.
even in todays society with all of our higher ideals.. women are still percived as the weaker sex, to the point that we still make less in the workplace. its a sad fact but still a fact. On the plus side we have more freedom and rights than we have ever had in the history of mankind, and we have become lazy and contented with it. its all well to say I am woman hear me roar when all you have to do is open your mouth and complain, when a few short decades ago.. doing that would have you picking yourself up off the floor for impudence... and you deseved what you got in the eyes of most people.
it was only a few hundred years ago that the church debated on wheter women even had souls.. and she was just the chattel of her husband.. if you died in childbirth or just after you were considered unclean and could not be burried in concencrated ground.
Men are physically stronger than us.. thats a fact
women on a whole are mentally stronger than men, in as far as we can cope with
amounts of stress that would cripple most men.
as a species we compliment each other perfectly.. one is strong where the other is weak.
I often think that if we didnt over think everything... and look back to the simpler things that we would see this clearly. look at any animal that is monagamous and you will see it.
both parents care for thier young. the male protects and the female nurtures. the roles are interchangable depending on the situation.. but they use thier strengths as a unit to help out each other.
on a note though about going back to work.
you have 9 months paid maternity leave before you have to think about it.. *Grins* enjoy it.. then make your decision.
i went back to work 4 years ago.. just to help out with bills and to get some grown up company. it was only for 16 hours a week.. and i loved it. ben was just a toddler at the time. i worked about Dons shifts so one of us was always home.
it became hard though as we never spent time together as a family.
i was lucky enough to be able to pack my work in last dec.
and now im a full time mom.
if you decide not to go back to work.. dont worry about it.
being a mom is the hardest job in the world. or let me rephrase that.. being a good mom is.
any one can pop out a baby.. but the blood and tears and laughter and joy. the Fear and anxiety and hope and despair that go into the day to day work of being a parent is worth it. everytime that little face looks up at you and smiles. gives you a kiss, tells you they love you.
parenting is not about rocking babies, and changing nappies.. lots and lots of nappies.
its about all the hard decisions that you have to make every single day. the tough choices and mistakes that will eat away at you when you make them. everything you do you doubt. am i doing this right? what about if its the wrong thing?
at the end of the day their is no right or wrong answers .. and you muddle thru..
as many books as there is out there.. that claim they are.. there are no parenting manuals.
you take each day at a time.. muddle through it and hope for the best.
by the second time round though.. you are a bit less stressed out..
but it is the best thing in the world..
and a little pratical hint on the color thing.. when you have your baby.. there will come a time when you wont care what color it is as long as its clean.
ill end my ramblings here.. .its early, im full of flu and may be delusional.. may be hallucinating soon.. i think my kids are sitting together on the couch TOGETHER.. without arguing. must be hallucinating!
anyway..(This is very un pc but very true)
Women have a special bond with their children.... no matter how much their daddy loves them. we have something they can never have.
we created that spark of life, we nurtured it in our bodies.
we knew that child before it ever knew itself. every movement and twitch we felt.
we deeply loved that tiny piece of life more than anything else.
most women live and die for thier children.
this is a generalisation and not everyones choice..
but in a life and death situation...
the doctor asks.. which to i save?
a mans choice will noramlly be.. my wife
a womans choice will normally be... my child
Boozeburglar
13-Feb-10, 10:25
Great post B. :D
riggerboy
13-Feb-10, 10:44
[QUOTE=Vistravi;659043]How do you think the roles of men and women are percieved as? Is it the traditional approach or a more modern approach?
I ask this as i have been thinking about it lately due to becoming a mum for this first time this year.
i should think it the first this year its on february lol
stay at home and bring the kids up you only get 1 chance with them take it coz when there older your gonna lose them no matter what you try they will go off and live the life they want, i still remember the first time my wee lad (not so wee 6 footer now)came home from school and didnt want to watch telly with me he wanted to go out and play with his new friends,i was broken, there are many other times they will change and you`ll feel left out but thats the way it is, enjoy what time you have with them each stage has its on treasured moments
Brandy your absolutely right about the mother & child relationship it is unique & no father could ever have that bond, in a recent survey it was shown that women have that bond as soon as they are pregnant but it doesnt really hit men that they will be a parent until their baby is actually born.
Back to the original question my OH insists that I be a stay at home mum he thinks the children need a parent there all the time, plus he earns more money than I could ever do so its practical too.
On the topic of blue or pink... After having my last son who i ALWAYS dressed in baby blue the amount of people that asked me if he was a girl was amazing & I did looked stunned alot of the time & stated hes dressed in blue!. Yet I often dress my older little boy in his favourite pink T-shirt with the caption " tough enough to wear pink!" on it.
[quote=Vistravi;659043]How do you think the roles of men and women are percieved as? Is it the traditional approach or a more modern approach?
I ask this as i have been thinking about it lately due to becoming a mum for this first time this year.
i should think it the first this year its on february lol
stay at home and bring the kids up you only get 1 chance with them take it coz when there older your gonna lose them no matter what you try they will go off and live the life they want, i still remember the first time my wee lad (not so wee 6 footer now)came home from school and didnt want to watch telly with me he wanted to go out and play with his new friends,i was broken, there are many other times they will change and you`ll feel left out but thats the way it is, enjoy what time you have with them each stage has its on treasured moments
I've decided i do want to go back to work after my 9 months to a year of maternity leave as i love my job. I only want to do 4 to 5 hours a day though as i don't want to miss out too much on our wee one. I love working with children and i am already thinking of how hard it is going to be on my last day of work as i won't see the kids at work for up to a year. When one wee lassie and her family moved away i cried saying goodbye to her and wishing her family well. She was also my next door neighbour and i saw her every day.
I truly love my job. I have no choice but to take early maternity leave and i am already dreading the few weeks of not working. Once our baby is born then its a different story but untill then i will have to make sure that when i am on maternity leave i am busy and still on the go.
How do you think the roles of men and women are percieved as? Is it the traditional approach or a more modern approach?
I ask this as i have been thinking about it lately due to becoming a mum for this first time this year. I want to only work part time as i don't want to miss seeing our child grow and develop. I want to see our child more than just in the morning and at night for bedtime. I want to be a working mum as i don't want my partner feeling that he has the sole responsibilty of keeping our household in order. I want him to enjoy his time with his child too and not worrying about making the money all the time.
Everyone's ideas of the roles of men and women are different and i just wondered as a whole what everyone thought the roles are.
(This is not a stereotype question, just a curious thought)
There is no right or wrong answer to your question its just a case of what yous want to do unfortunatley we all need money to live so that usually has a big influence on your decision
Squidge, I am surprised at you!
I thought you of all people would know pink was very much a man's colour in days of old.
No reason you had to wait to have a girl!
;)
I Like pink on my wee girl she is soooooooooooooooo pretty!!!!
I liked Blues on my eldest, Greens and browns on the second, Number three looked the part in bright colours - orange, red and bright green. Baby number four looks fab in blues, purple and dark greens but my wee girl looks just fabulous in pink and purple. ;)
Im laughing at Lauren as it doesnt matter what colour I choose for her to wear, if I give her a choice she always chooses PINK!
She got to choose the colour of her bedroom and I tried to steer her towards lemon and mint but she chose PINK!
She will deliberately choose PINK above any other colour and she is 3!
I have never forced the colour on her and have had her in blue, lemon, purple, basicly anything but pink but there goes:lol:
I worked part time after the first 2 children as I wanted to be at home with them while they were little (after a years maternity each time) but wanted to earn my own money and have some adult conversations too!
I am on a years maternity at the moment and its far to early to think about work!
Hubby works fulltime.
I cook as he is not to hot in the kitchen, but apparently I dont stack the dishwasher properly, he does the bins, I clean the loo, we both hoover, we both do nappies, but if things are not done when he comes home he will take over so we both do house stuff!
and again i say to you.. give me my baby back... well hes to little to acutually be one of mine no one would belive it! but i want him! see hijacking other peoples babies when their not looking is a totally female thing to do! not many men do that either.. i would so have all three of daddies babies if she didnt know where i live.. however me and lauren are working out a deal...
Im laughing Brandy as you would have to take my boobs too!
That is another just female thing we can breastfeed babies!
(but Euan is not fussy he will breastfeed, take a bottle of expressed or fomula)
see i dont need your boobs! give me give me give me!!
ohhh also another thing on the female side..
women seem to be more open to love anothers child...
its harder for a man to accept a child not his own..
now thats not true across the board.. but well.....
i think its more a nurture thing..
where a man would be more.. yes ill take care of a child in need
a woman is more.. let me love it.. i need to mother it.. poor wee thing.
ohhhh and women are much more devious than men...
starts plotting ways to get the baby......
starts plotting ways to get the baby......
Well...it starts with a mummy and a daddy and they have a special cuddle......erm dont you know this already brandy??????
a woman is more.. let me love it.. i need to mother it.. poor wee thing.
Seriously though dont you find that once you are a mum you become EVERY child's mother? News reports adverts and documentaries, films and cartoons (:roll:) Can have me bawling my eyes out even within a couple of minutes of starting if there is a child related nasty/sad/dangerous thing going on. See the rolling eyes i get from the Bruce and my older boys but i cant help it. Its the hormones!!!!!
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