View Full Version : mother at 63
saw on the news today about a woman who is 63 years old is having a baby. do you think that is right?
i personally think it would be a better idea for this woman to foster kids, this way children who are needy will have someone to care for them plus this woman would have children to love.
this woman would be putting her life in danger because she will be putting her body under unnecessary stress plus she will be more than likely depriving the child of a mother in future years.
So when the kid is 15 years old the mother will be 78 years old.....hmmmmmmmmmm, not too good.
Convenient though, being able to pick up your pension and child allowance at the same time.
Your as young as u feel...
hee hee
i think this is wrong. whn the child gets older they might be bullied cos of how old their parents are and not meaning to sound nasty but she probably wont be able to see it grow or get married unless she is a tough old bird and is still really healthy. she to also cause damage to herself. if she wants to have kids at that age its up to her though.
maybe im right maybe im wrong but i feel it will be unfair to a child to be brought into the world and after a few years losing their parent. when i was 25 i lost my mother due to ilness not age, she was only 51, but that was a wrench for me. what would that child feel like because it is highly unlikely that they would have their mother to teen years.
fostering can be a short term help for many needy children and would give her the children that she yearns for.
I understood from the radio that she already has two adult children so this seems pure selfishness. Another example of "I want so I must have". How many times will the child have to explain that they are not its granddparents?
I agree with the suggestion about fostering as if she really loves children this would be a much better solution.
Bingobabe
04-May-06, 19:00
I could understand if she did not have any kids to begin with.But noing she has leaves me some what confused why would a woman of her age want another child at 63. It,s the child i feel sorry for this child will have no sibilings around the same age and its adult sibilings will be more like its parents than sibilings.Also the child will probarly end up looking after its parents thats no child hood but its her choice at the end of the day.
On the other hand a younger parent with cancer it happens but the main thing is that the child is loved and well looked after.
i agree with you there bingobabe. i feel honoured that i had 25 years with my mum. she was a very special lady. i was lucky, she showed me so much love it will be in my heart forever
umm did she intentionally get preg or did it just happen?
and in my honest opinion.. its not really any ones buisness if she choose to get preg.
any child is a gift.. even when they are throwing a huge tantrum like mine is right now.. *grins* (using the ignore the bad tantrum tec.)
but at the end of the day.. it is her choice..
i personally would rather see a 60 year old woman get preg. who will watch out for herself.. and the baby do everything she can to ensure a healthy preg and delivery.. and be a loving parent than some strung out teenager or abusive woman.. who will not care for their child and expose them to drugs and violence.. and many many times not even give the baby a chance of a drug addition birth.
but then again its just my oppinion
Alice in Blunderland
04-May-06, 19:18
How selfish she wanted so she got, has she given any thoughts towards the child and what the future holds for it.......if she had maybe she wouldnt have been so selfish.At this age my mum had the joy of becoming a grandmother which gave her loads of happiness without the sleepless nights and if in years to come my kids loose their granny at least they will still have their mum.
if she wants to have kids at that age its up to her though.
umm did she intentionally get preg or did it just happen?
It's not up to her.If it were up to her she would still have been infertile due to natural menopause. She had children at that age because of (a dubious) medical intervention.
Bingobabe
04-May-06, 19:54
i agree with you there bingobabe. i feel honoured that i had 25 years with my mum. she was a very special lady. i was lucky, she showed me so much love it will be in my heart foreverMy heart goes out to you there my mum is my best friend and i dont know what i would do without her.But you must have your own special memories and i hope they give you comfort.
Billy Boy
04-May-06, 20:32
saw on the news today about a woman who is 63 years old is having a baby. do you think that is right?
i personally think it would be a better idea for this woman to foster kids, this way children who are needy will have someone to care for them plus this woman would have children to love.
this woman would be putting her life in danger because she will be putting her body under unnecessary stress plus she will be more than likely depriving the child of a mother in future years.
I think it is wrong to have kids at that age as they arent going to be around to see them grow up and its the child who is left to deal with it.
as for getting I.V.F. i strongly believe that it should only be used in cases where people cant concieve for whatever medical reasons.not because you are passed child bearing age and decide you want another child.
I.V.F. is obviously a wonderfull thing, I have suffered 3 miscarriage's and only through haveing I.V.F. have i got my daughter which is a reminder everyday how lucky we are and how precious children are.
I.V.F in itself can be a harrowing experiance so to put your body throught all that and pregnancy and child birth at that age just to have a child to cement a relationship is wrong, kids dont make relationships.
that is why there are strict rules in this country regarding I.V.F. and the cut off age is there for a reason.
There is also a high chance of disabilities in childen born to women over 40.
willowbankbear
04-May-06, 21:01
Yuk, I thought she wouldve been past it for a jump in the sack at that age!
No seriously she went to Italy for IVF treatment as she was too old for it in the UK. She has 2 grown up children, so why be so selfish & have another at almost retiring age?
Can ye imagine at the school on the bairns first day? "Is that yer gran?", `No its my mam` What a shame on the kid, I think & so do millions of others, judging by the phone polls Ive seen
connieb19
04-May-06, 21:09
Yuk, I thought she wouldve been past it for a jump in the sack at that age!
At 63? I hardly think so.:evil
Bingobabe
04-May-06, 21:11
At 63? I hardly think so.:evil
Iv,e suddenly gone blind with the horrible mental image iv,e just seen LOL:evil
I am totally gobsmacked by this announcement on the news tonight! They say they have the childs best interests at heart - yea right - if they're around long enough. They're not only old enough to be the childs grandparents, but old enough to be its GREAT- grandparents! Can you see the father out kicking a ball with his son or learning him to ride a bike? Or if its a girl do you think the mother will be doing girlie things with her like shopping or whatever - I don't think so! Too much of an age/generation gap here. On saying that i'm sure they will be good enough parents for the little time they will share with their child, or more to the point, the little time their child will share with them. :( But who am I to judge, its just my opinion.
She cannot see any further than what she herself wants and has no regard whatsoever for the child. She obviously has the same learning skills as the toddler screaming and demanding sweets at the checkout.
Has she really stopped to think her she will cope physically keeping up with the child. I dread to think how a 70 year old would manage to cope with an agile stroppy teenager. Even getting to that stage can be very tiring even for much younger people.
The odds are is that most of the hard work will be left for others to do and just who is going to look after the child when she is dead.
I realise that a child can be in that position even with younger parents, but that is not usually expected to be inevitable, with this woman it is.
Personally, I wouldn't like to face the prospect of becoming a father at that age, (No, not even Catherine Zeta-J could persuade me), never mind the prospect of becoming a mother.
connieb19
04-May-06, 21:34
My dad's 65 and i could see him out quite happily kicking a ball with a kid. My mums the same age and there's still plenty of life in her too. I'm not saying i agree with this woman having a child at this age, but give the oldies a break. They're not all old and senile. I think 63 is still quite young. This woman could quite easily have another 30 years in front of her..
Bingobabe
04-May-06, 21:43
My dad's 65 and i could see him out quite happily kicking a ball with a kid. My mums the same age and there's still plenty of life in her too. I'm not saying i agree with this woman having a child at this age, but give the oldies a break. They're not all old and senile. I think 63 is still quite young. This woman could quite easily have another 30 years in front of her..Maybe 10 years at home with her child and the following 20 in a care home.
Maybe 10 years at home with her child and the following 20 in a care home.
10 years looking after her child and the next 20 years the child will be looking after her.
My dad's 65 and i could see him out quite happily kicking a ball with a kid. My mums the same age and there's still plenty of life in her too. I'm not saying i agree with this woman having a child at this age, but give the oldies a break. They're not all old and senile. I think 63 is still quite young. This woman could quite easily have another 30 years in front of her..
I totally agree wi you connie 65 aint old my gran is 87 this year and she goes to yoga, circle dancing, swimming, sauna, dog sits and walks for miles and she just retired last year, she is a lot fitter than people half her age.
its doing all these things that keep her fit and young at heart.;)
but she certainly wouldnt want to have babies lol :lol:
connieb19
04-May-06, 22:07
I'd rather a kid had a decent 10/15 years upbringing with old parents, than, a lifetime with unfit parents. Some folk arn't fit to look after a budgie, never mind a kid..[evil]
willowbankbear
04-May-06, 22:42
My old mam is 65 & I just cant picture her getting jiggy at that age,shes fit enough but shes happy to be grandma not a new mam,Least Id hope so.
Sorry if ye read this mother, but No[lol]
philupmaboug
04-May-06, 23:03
I think I would rather see two older parents who can provide for thier child than perhaps a single 16 year old who may have to rely on the state to bring up her child as she loses her own childhood.
connieb19
04-May-06, 23:14
My old mam is 65 & I just cant picture her getting jiggy at that age,shes fit enough but shes happy to be grandma not a new mam,Least Id hope so.
Sorry if ye read this mother, but No[lol]Give your mam a break, she's still a young spring chicky..lol:Razz
My dad's 65 and i could see him out quite happily kicking a ball with a kid. My mums the same age and there's still plenty of life in her too. I'm not saying i agree with this woman having a child at this age, but give the oldies a break. They're not all old and senile. I think 63 is still quite young. This woman could quite easily have another 30 years in front of her..
Your mom and dad, like mine, love spending time with their grandchildren. A few hours,a day, a weekend or even aholiday are completely different to living with and raising a child. To my knowledge there are not that many spritely 80 year olds with enough get go to deal with children as parents. Nature has created a system to make sure that this does not happen and we are contravening nature.
I think I would rather see two older parents who can provide for thier child than perhaps a single 16 year old who may have to rely on the state to bring up her child as she loses her own childhood.
I don't understand this 8 or 80 stuff going on. Not all young mothers are bad (though mentally I don't think they are preparedto be parents), as I am sure that there are 45 year old mums that can also be negligent. And I am sure that this sixty year old mother will cherish the child exactly because she knows the time she has is limited and precious. But this is not relevant to the issue, in my opinion.
What I think the core issue here is if medicine should be pushing these natural boundries to motherhood futher and futher back. Nature determines that we cannot have children when older. There are age limits to adoption, yet if you can convince a doctor to medicate you to reverse your menopause you can have a child at sixty odd years. It doesn't make sense.
I think it is wrong that a woman of this age was allowed ivf treatment, when so many young couples cant get it. I thought there was an age limit. she wont have the patience with a young child at her age, and the child wont have many years with its mother, who will look more like a granny than a mum when the child is ten.
darkie@dreamtilt.com.au
05-May-06, 05:48
Give your mam a break, she's still a young spring chicky..lol:RazzMust show this to the wife http://forum.caithness.org/images/icons/icon10.gif
Naefearjustbeer
05-May-06, 09:02
I am strongly against this. I always think of a herd of deer or a pack of wolves. It is the young fit strong animals that breed to ensure fit strong healthy youngsters to continue the pack. Survival of the fittest and all that. Will all these older parents produce kids that are not so strong or healthy. The risks to the mother and the unborn child must be greatly increased at that age. Why do you think older people are less fertile? It is going against the laws of nature doing this. Many doctors recon the reason that so many couple have trouble conceiving is because they don't start trying for kids until they are mid 30s. By the time they are realising they have a problem they are approaching 40. I don't need a doctor to tell me what the problem is, nature is doing it for me. When I am that age I hope to be a grandad. At 33 years old I consider my days of producing children as over. Sleepless nights and dirty nappies at 63 no thanks. I think a lot of the rules in this country are stupid but My goodness the Italian's must be crazy allowing this to happen
IThere is also a high chance of disabilities in childen born to women over 40.
There is an increased risk but the chances are not "high". Naturally conceiving a baby over the age of forty happens but your body tells you your child bearing and child rearing days should be over when you have the menopause. Miriam Stoppard said last night that this was an example of the consumer society we live in - i want so i shall just go out and buy and i think that she is right. Being 63 doesnt make you too old to be a good parent but nature tells you that your body is past child bearing. The trouble is though that fostering and Adoption sometimes discriminate against the older parent too remember. With an aging population and children in care who need fostering and adoption maye this needs re examning
my husbands mum was 43 the year she had him..
and that was all down to nature..
he will be 35 tomorrow and his mum passed in 98.
so he had his entire childhood.. and young adult years with his mum .. before she passed with a stroke..
on the other shoe..
my real mum was just 17 by a couple weeks when she had me.. and fell dead.. when i turned 17..
i am the oldest of 7.. the youngest just turned 18 this year.
she was all of 5 years old when she died..
and cause of death? natural causes.
so we can not sit back and say that someone should not be able to have children because they are too old and will not be around to care for their children..
remember that there are no guarentees in this life
we take what we are given and be grateful for it,
i will love and cherish my children as long as i live.. hopefully that will be a long long time .. but if i dont then they will know that their mummy loved them very very much and that they will always be taken care of.. as any responsible parent will have set in motion. that if anything happened to them , then they would be cared for.
My dad's 65 and i could see him out quite happily kicking a ball with a kid. My mums the same age and there's still plenty of life in her too. I'm not saying i agree with this woman having a child at this age, but give the oldies a break. They're not all old and senile. I think 63 is still quite young. This woman could quite easily have another 30 years in front of her..
I totally agree Connie my granny is 78 and she still likes to have fun she even travelled from Edinburgh to Aberdeen to watch Hibs play with my uncle. I hope i am as active when i reach that age!
Bingobabe
05-May-06, 17:17
To be fair it is her choice and who are we to judge anyone.But i have a 7 month old baby and he keeps me very active and i work full time so it is hard going at times.So the point im trying to make is im 24 years old and find it difficult what is it going to be like for a 63 year old woman. But i love my son more than life itself and wouldnt change a thing.
I totally agree Connie my granny is 78 and she still likes to have fun she even travelled from Edinburgh to Aberdeen to watch Hibs play with my uncle. I hope i am as active when i reach that age!
Why were Hibs playing with your uncle?
ps I am sure your Gran was only 58 before the game, the fixture adds 20 years to any life ;o)
willowbankbear
05-May-06, 19:58
Why were Hibs playing with your uncle?
ps I am sure your Gran was only 58 before the game, the fixture adds 20 years to any life ;o)
PMSL [lol] [lol]
I personally think 63 far to old to be having a baby. I was 36 when I had my last and that was hard work.:(
Why were Hibs playing with your uncle?
ps I am sure your Gran was only 58 before the game, the fixture adds 20 years to any life ;o)
you are right i should rephrase that my uncle took my granny to a hibs match in Aberdeen .
willowbankbear
05-May-06, 23:38
Why? I take it yer granny doesnt like yer uncle? Yer Grannie didnt have a bairn at 60 did she? Its a bit different
darkie@dreamtilt.com.au
06-May-06, 04:42
This story was on Australian TV last night,no a bad looking Girl for her age
I saw the 63 year old mother-to-be in the Daily Record on page 3 and thought "that's not right". A couple of pages further on changed my view. I saw "Scotlands Worst Ned" (self proclaimed I think) who is 16 years old (his IQ isn't as high as his age) and has just got his 16-year-old girlfriend pregnant. It brought me to these two questions: -
1)Which kid will have the better upbringing and
2)Which would I prefer as parents?
You don't need to be a brain surgeon to work it out.
The Loafer
I saw the 63 year old mother-to-be in the Daily Record on page 3 and thought "that's not right". A couple of pages further on changed my view. I saw "Scotlands Worst Ned" (self proclaimed I think) who is 16 years old (his IQ isn't as high as his age) and has just got his 16-year-old girlfriend pregnant. It brought me to these two questions: -
1)Which kid will have the better upbringing and
2)Which would I prefer as parents?
You don't need to be a brain surgeon to work it out.
The Loafer
Two wrongs don't make a right.
There is no "correct age" at which to have children but it makes a bit of sense to complete your own childhood first and nature usually tells you when it is too late.
If this woman were having a child naturally then good luck to her but I think when Dr Frankenstein is called in to assist then the questions have to be asked about where the line is to be drawn. It is not as if this woman had not already borne children into the world and she could, presumably, have had more kids if she felt the need at an earlier age and without the need for the "bull with the bowler hat" to help out.
I think more thought should be given to the child and not just the mother and her money. The woman may live a long life but what quality might it be and what if she doesn't live long after the child is born? We could all die tomorrow but the chances are more likely the older you are and my overall feeling is that this woman is selfish in her actions and she should be out playing rugby with all the other "Supergrans" and enjoying a pint of Guinness and arm wrestling for apres-rugger.
will she be putting her life at risk as well as the babys development by having the baby later in life. a womans body is not designed to have a baby so late in years. i personnally feel that IVF should be for women who could not conceive naturally. this woman has two children already.
umm did she intentionally get preg or did it just happen?
and in my honest opinion.. its not really any ones buisness if she choose to get preg.
any child is a gift.. even when they are throwing a huge tantrum like mine is right now.. *grins* (using the ignore the bad tantrum tec.)
but at the end of the day.. it is her choice..
i personally would rather see a 60 year old woman get preg. who will watch out for herself.. and the baby do everything she can to ensure a healthy preg and delivery.. and be a loving parent than some strung out teenager or abusive woman.. who will not care for their child and expose them to drugs and violence.. and many many times not even give the baby a chance of a drug addition birth.
but then again its just my oppinion
This woman is having a child via IVF treatment. The egg involved is not hers. She had to go to Russia to have it done as it would not be allowed in this country. She has already had three children of her own. She is apparently doing this to cement a loving relationship with her husband. What kind of relationship needs this to make it complete?
Of course none of this is my business and it is only my opinion, but my opinion is formed on the facts and not just a vague grasp of the story.
As usual people in the upper classes, with money, can indulge in any folly of their choice whilst people who cannot afford to have help bearing their first child, with their own genes, wait on with little or no hope. Ah the gift of a child, for those with the money to buy themselves the "gift"
rockchick
07-May-06, 09:26
Why is 63 too old to have a child?
It's not uncommon for a man to father a child when he's old enough to collect his pension! and no one raises a stink about it, so I feel it's a bit of a double-standard to raise a fuss because a woman wants the same option.
Yes, she needs medical assistance to conceive, but conception is such a small part of raising a child to me it's a non-issue. Just let her get on with it.
Why is 63 too old to have a child?
It's not uncommon for a man to father a child when he's old enough to collect his pension! and no one raises a stink about it.
You are right about men fathering children at that age, even older than that..how old is Michael Douglas again?:roll:
Why is 63 too old to have a child?
It's not uncommon for a man to father a child when he's old enough to collect his pension! and no one raises a stink about it, so I feel it's a bit of a double-standard to raise a fuss because a woman wants the same option.
Yes, she needs medical assistance to conceive, but conception is such a small part of raising a child to me it's a non-issue. Just let her get on with it.
No one, I believe, would have issue with adoption or fostering. But to buy a child in this way, to make sure that one gives birth.... your body at 63 is not made to cope with the physical drain of pregnancy and child birth. It takes years to recover, even if you don't feel it when you are young. Surely you can see that the demands on a man are not the same. Even in postnatal care the demnds are usualy huge on the women and men intervene very little ( I said usually, by the way. That means that not all men avoid changing a nappy like the plague....just most of them. )
And exactly where do you draw the line? How long before someone buy's a mini-me (clone) from an unscrupulous laboratory that decides to ignore scientific ethics (ethics such as age limits on IVF treatment).
Limited resources such as these should not be availible on demand and for a fee. They should be used for people who are in need of it ( and even then, the way I look at things there are too many institutionalized children that need families and too many people on this planet...why not adopt? I do however have to respect the wishes of a couple of childbearing age with no or one child wishing to concieve and that need help doing so)
Why is 63 too old to have a child?
It's not uncommon for a man to father a child when he's old enough to collect his pension! and no one raises a stink about it, so I feel it's a bit of a double-standard to raise a fuss because a woman wants the same option.
Yes, she needs medical assistance to conceive, but conception is such a small part of raising a child to me it's a non-issue. Just let her get on with it.
Have you actually read this thread or the full details of the story?
This woman has already had three kids and the sole reason she now needs medical assistance (as you call it) is because she is too old. This is another womans egg she has had implanted in her body so the child is not her own and, therefore, she would have been as well to have adopted a child. A child in need of a good home has been denied the chance of one and another person has been added to the world's population to satisfy whatever whim it is that has made this woman pursue this avenue.
As the old story goes "Were you at the birth?", "Why no, I wasn't even at the conception"
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