Spring Cleaning

[trinkie]

Spring Cleaning by Jenny S Stewart

Wi springtime fast approachin now an twa'r three bursts o sun
E Winter stoor shows in e hoose an makes ye want till run,
Boot wance e cleanin bug gets in yur blood soon starts till sing
As ye wage war wi' cloot an Flash on ivry single thing

Wur room wiz kinna moochy lek, e walls wis broon wi' smok
Id looked at drab id seekind his, so then we ran amok,
Bocht taw 'r three rolls o peyper an twa gret beeg tins o pent
Then hommed in on e fou'some walls an gave wur muscles vent

E peypur didna strip richt off so sopp an watter lotion
Wiz clapped across e sticky bits an soon e magic potion
Wi help o twa blunt dennur-knives revealed e wall ablow
Boot took an awful lock o time, wur progress wiz real slow.

So fa wid pent e ceilin? Yes, ye've guessed id, poor ould me,
An elongated rollur wid be easy work, ah'd see,
Ah'm less than five feet two wi short airms, boy Ah stretched at hard
Ma under-cleys a perted an ma muscles turned till lard

Ah'd pent ablow ma left eye-broo, id streaked across ma airm
Id dreeped until ma eyes lek mad boot caused thum no real hairm
Ah'd surgeon's cep clapped on ma heyd till keep it oot ma hair
Boot michtn've bothered, fringe left oot choost beckoned skinties ere.

Wur Chanis did e wan wall at we's hingin peypur till
An meyde a gran chob for first go (at least id's hingin still)
Ah pented walls an glossed e doors, wur carpet's scrubbed lek new
So, wan room's spring-cleaned for e year wi' three left till do !

[unicorn]

I was spring painting today in the garden the house can wait until a rainy day :)

[trinkie]

Ma Easter Bonnid

Last Sunday bein Easter day an time for fancy gear
Ah thocht ah'd rake ''straw-basher'' oot, announce at spring wis here
In mind a fancy blue affair, a gift fey ma pal Chinnad
She took id homm fey Aiberdeen an ah looked fair swell in id

Ah planned a reeg aroond iss hat an thocht ah'd be sensation
New skirtie bocht an bag an shoes fair filled me wi elation
Admit ah'm choost conceited cat, ah love till look ma best
Although ah'm e nyuck at times, ah go till town fan dressed

So, tried id on an swanked 'fore mirror thinkin ''fas's lek me?''
Twistin lek a dowg wi flech ma rear view for till see
Merched doonstairs till flor 'fore mam, id met wi her approval
Anithur teet in gless 'fore contemplatin reeg's removal

Then Seturday dawned bricht an sunny, rubbed ma hans wi glee
Ah nivvur noticed getherin clouds a' gangin up on me
A day-long fou'some shooer or snow, no thochts o gien in
''Straw Basher'' lyin wrapped in tissue ready, fit a sin

Undaunted, found anithur cep an thocht ''ah'll toff iss up''
Twa roses button-holl fey weddin lyin in a cup
A feather brooch in sorry steyt responded till a brush
Stuck in wi two bress safety-peenies, end result wiz lush

So Chenny hed an Easter bonnid wan way or anithur
Although e sicht o a yin snow hed pit hur in a dithur
An better days are comin soon, ah'm sure ah'll get ma chance
Till sport ma gran blue bonnid at ma special cocky stance.

[changilass]

A friend just sent me this:


HOW TO CLEAN THE HOUSE

1. Open a new file in your PC.
2. Name it "Housework."
3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN
4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN
5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?"
6. Calmly answer, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly......
7. Feel better?

Works for me!