View Full Version : Checkout Kommandants
buddyrich
01-Dec-09, 00:44
Does anyone else find it incredibly irritating with the way they herd you to the express till at tesco? It's either the automated ones in Wick or the 10 items or less in Thurso. The fact that they do it in a VERY LOUD VOICE, just to ensure that passers-by know that you're a complete imbecile for going to apparently the wrong till makes it even more bile-inducing: "CAN YOU COME TO THIS ONE PLEASE, YES OVER HERE, EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE NO CUSTOMERS AT THE ONE YOU WANTED TO USE AND THE ASSISTANT IS SITTING DOING NOTHING, PLEASE CHANGE DIRECTION AND WALK ALL THE WAY OVER TO WHERE THIS OTHER ASSISTANT IS DOING NOTHING. WHAT A COMPLETE CRETIN YOU ARE FOR CHOOSING THE WRONG TILL. DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'd quite like to have that job. Seems like a good racket, waiting to pounce on people and order them about.
Metalattakk
01-Dec-09, 01:39
Why don't you just ignore them and insist on using the manned till. They don't like that sort of thing.
Then if the Tescommandant really really insists, simply place your shopping on the floor and walk out. They don't like that sort of thing either.
Sheesh, it would never happen in ASDA though, eh? ;)
I was struggling to get an assistants attention in B&Q last summer, they were either all too busy or ignoring me so I lit a ciggie up. Within 5seconds of doing so I had the attention of three assistants, so I nipped it and put it back in the tin and asked them where the fluro tubes were.:lol:
PS. The wife didnt speak to me for the rest of the day. Double result.:lol:
northener
01-Dec-09, 10:39
I don't think they go far enough.
I believe that many of the customers need herding with electric cattle prods, as they're quite incapable of being in the store without blocking the aisles whilst wittering away to their halfwit chums.
Many seem unable to differentiate between queueing at a till for the purpose of purchasing goods and standing at a till slack-jawed and dribbling whilst they fanny around with 37 outdated coupons (from Asda or Lidl) and then begin trying to find a two pence piece in the botton corner of their overstuffed bag rather than break into a twenty pence piece, whilst all the time droning on about the lack of small independant retailers in Wick and what that woman said up the street about the cat in Dempster Street and how Satanists are planning on opening a vegetarian laundry in Pulteneytown.
They should all be taken to a railway siding, loaded into trucks and......[evil]
.....and relax......
Buddyrich i totally agree with you i find that very annoying two when i go shopping i like to be left in peace instead of being told were to go.
Northener you should listen to yourself maybey you should change your name from northener to Victor Meldrew lol you do have a valid point
Satanists are planning on opening a vegetarian laundry in Pulteneytown.
I bet that's bloodywell subsidised by some leftwing lilly livered PC loony "it's society's fault" tree hugging hippy quango too!
How quaint!
northener
01-Dec-09, 10:57
......Northener you should listen to yourself maybey you should change your name from northener to Victor Meldrew lol
Aw, shucks.:o
That's the nicest thing anyones said about me for a long time. I'm flattered.:Razz
[quote=northener;627579]I don't think they go far enough.
I believe that many of the customers need herding with electric cattle prods, as they're quite incapable of being in the store without blocking the aisles whilst wittering away to their halfwit chums.
Many seem unable to differentiate between queueing at a till for the purpose of purchasing goods and standing at a till slack-jawed and dribbling whilst they fanny around with 37 outdated coupons (from Asda or Lidl) and then begin trying to find a two pence piece in the botton corner of their overstuffed bag rather than break into a twenty pence piece, whilst all the time droning on about the lack of small independant retailers in Wick and what that woman said up the street about the cat in Dempster Street and how Satanists are planning on opening a vegetarian laundry in Pulteneytown.
They should all be taken to a railway siding, loaded into trucks and......[evil]
.....and relax......
... to true.. to true, i hedtae laff readin that!
line of customers building up and up.... and yep the customer yer servin is still lookin for that odd penny.. then efter 5 mins ..nope they dinnae hev enuff! so anither 5 minutes puttin all the dross back in the purse/pocket!! customers can be just as much hassle as staff can be beleive u me!!
we're never happy one way or anither!!
Sheesh, it would never happen in ASDA though, eh? ;)
I remember from back in Mancunia in the few days before Christmas wifey had the fine idea of beating the queues and heading off to a 24hr Asda at 4AM.
We spent an hour or so in the busy as heck store gathering all our xmas goddies on which to be overly gluttonous with before heading off to the rammed checkouts, we waited and waited and then an Asdammandant started to play silly s with the queues and dragged us off to another checkout and put us in a longer queue!
And then tried to put people in front of us that had just rocked up to the checkout!!!!!
Me being my shiney smiley best after a couple of hours sleep and another hour of hellonearthasdamongering had a few choice words to say before leaving a massively overloaded trolley with said Asdammandant.
Happy infarction Christmas were my parting words I believe however they didn't seem full of the Christmas spirit.
:eek:
its the ones that try to help me at the self service tills that bug me!!! SELF service!!! means i want to do it mySELF rather than have someone else screw up my method of bag packing, putting the eggs at the bottom of the bag or overfilling a bag so it splits before reaching the trolly, or putting large items like the 12 pack of cat tins in a bag........come on, if i wanted help id have gone to one of the goons at the tills for "assistance"
My mates a taxi driver and he told me that he once picked a fare up at Morrisons. After loading her trolley full of Groceries and waiting for her to take her trolley back he asked her where to? The blue mondeo at the other end of the carpark. He told me if he hadnt already loaded her bags he'd have just drove off and left her there. Mind you it was 50 yards away.:roll:
northener
01-Dec-09, 11:45
My mates a taxi driver and he told me that he once picked a fare up at Morrisons. After loading her trolley full of Groceries and waiting for her to take her trolley back he asked her where to? The blue mondeo at the other end of the carpark. He told me if he hadnt already loaded her bags he'd have just drove off and left her there. Mind you it was 50 yards away.:roll:
You'd be suprised just how lazy some people can be whe it comes to taking taxis.
Camps bar to Wetherspoons? (about 80 yards)...no problem sir, i'll just stick the meter on....
tonkatojo
01-Dec-09, 11:49
You'd be suprised just how lazy some people can be whe it comes to taking taxis.
Camps bar to Wetherspoons? (about 80 yards)...no problem sir, i'll just stick the meter on....
Some folk have sore feet others are plain lazy, how do you differentiate ??.
Camps bar to Wetherspoons? (about 80 yards)...no problem sir, i'll just stick the meter on....
Aww c'mon. That's a hellova crawl when it's pishing down!
Turquoise
01-Dec-09, 13:34
You'd be suprised just how lazy some people can be whe it comes to taking taxis.
Camps bar to Wetherspoons? (about 80 yards)...no problem sir, i'll just stick the meter on....
I think the best one I ever heard was Top Joe's to the Central...
catherine nicol
01-Dec-09, 14:02
I don't think that I have laughed so hard in ages, fantastic warmer on a chilly day like today.
:lol::lol::lol:
tonkatojo
01-Dec-09, 14:04
I don't think that I have laughed so hard in ages, fantastic warmer on a chilly day like today.
:lol::lol::l
Was it you ??. ;)
Was in Homebase (Wick) at the weekend and needed some assistance, from an assistant ;) !!!!!
Well, I searched the lower floor all over...... not even one Homebase employee to be found ... anywhere !!!!!
We ended up going to the "help/check out", where the lassie there was very helpful, but she had to leave her desk unmanned (leaving only one check out for other customers) 'til she managed to assist us with our enquiry !!
I really felt for the lass on the other counter, as her queue had at least ten people in it.........and still no sign of any other Homebase employees around !!!!!!
On a busy (it was "Fun Day", also 10% discount day at Homebase !!) Saturday, I thought this was pretty dire customer service [evil] !!!!!
BNL Are Me
01-Dec-09, 17:45
To play devil's advocate, they are under a lot of pressure in Tesco because the queues at the tills are monitored in a somewhat draconian fashion using a system called "one in front." Those black balls above all the tills aren't cameras, they're infra-red sensors that are used to monitor the number of people in a queue at any given time. Not that that's, well, sinister or anything!
seems like someones had a bad day.....
seems to me those poor folk are damned if they do...damned if they dont...although i do agree manners maketh the man..... theres no need for anyone to be rude to anyone.....but hey that works both ways....
changilass
02-Dec-09, 00:38
Tesco has had a 'one in front' policy for years.
It is basically a promise that if there is more that one person in front of you in a queue, then they will open another untill such a time as all checkouts are open.
Nothing in the least bit sinister, just an acknowledgement that we hate queues.
goldenguernsey
02-Dec-09, 00:55
so they are cameras then and not infra red sensors
BNL Are Me
02-Dec-09, 02:20
Tesco has had a 'one in front' policy for years.
It is basically a promise that if there is more that one person in front of you in a queue, then they will open another untill such a time as all checkouts are open.
Nothing in the least bit sinister, just an acknowledgement that we hate queues.
There's nothing wrong with the system, but the way it's monitored never looked fair to me and always caused a great deal of stress.
Tesco has had a 'one in front' policy for years.
It is basically a promise that if there is more that one person in front of you in a queue, then they will open another untill such a time as all checkouts are open.
Nothing in the least bit sinister, just an acknowledgement that we hate queues.
Yeah, but knowing my luck the one second in my queue would only have a few small items(No its because youre ugly:lol:) And the one in front of me in the new queue would have a skip full.:roll:
I don't think they go far enough.
I believe that many of the customers need herding with electric cattle prods, as they're quite incapable of being in the store without blocking the aisles whilst wittering away to their halfwit chums.
Many seem unable to differentiate between queueing at a till for the purpose of purchasing goods and standing at a till slack-jawed and dribbling whilst they fanny around with 37 outdated coupons (from Asda or Lidl) and then begin trying to find a two pence piece in the botton corner of their overstuffed bag rather than break into a twenty pence piece, whilst all the time droning on about the lack of small independant retailers in Wick and what that woman said up the street about the cat in Dempster Street and how Satanists are planning on opening a vegetarian laundry in Pulteneytown.
They should all be taken to a railway siding, loaded into trucks and......[evil]
.....and relax......
When does this vegetarian laundry open and will it be staffed by one legged,left handed,lesbian dwarf satanists or just your regular satanists?
northener
02-Dec-09, 10:54
When does this vegetarian laundry open
Christmas Eve. They were originally aiming for Hallow'een, but the goat escaped and they've only just managed to get a replacement.
and will it be staffed by one legged,left handed,lesbian dwarf satanists or just your regular satanists?
Regular Satanists for now, we they've stated that one legged lesbian dwarves will be employed in the Thurso branch, as there's lots of them up there*.
No left-handers though, they're just plain wierd fowk.
* This is not an attempt to ridicule persons of restricted growth with mobility issues whose sexual preferences may incline them to bat for the other side. Some of my best friends fall into this category.....but not left-handers, no way, they should be ruthlessly hunted down and burnt at the stake for their un-natural goings on.
So there.
as there's lots of them up there
Ah ha, blatant discrimination again. Pandering to the majority.
What about the cross dressing gender confused alcohol dependant disenfranchised individuals????
ooops, wrong thread, sorry. Carry on........
northener
02-Dec-09, 12:39
.........What about the cross dressing gender confused alcohol dependant disenfranchised individuals????.......
Nice of you to stick up fer me, Phill. But I've already got a job.:Razz
Nice of you to stick up fer me, Phill. But I've already got a job.:Razz
Hmmm, I've heard about this "job" apparently you've been seen hanging around street corners at night waiting for "business".
:eek:
George Brims
02-Dec-09, 22:42
I was struggling to get an assistants attention in B&Q last summer, they were either all too busy or ignoring me so I lit a ciggie up. Within 5seconds of doing so I had the attention of three assistants, so I nipped it and put it back in the tin and asked them where the fluro tubes were.:lol:
PS. The wife didnt speak to me for the rest of the day. Double result.:lol:
High five!
When shopping in Tesco in Thurso I always aim for the checkout nearest the loo as that is my next stop after packing the bags. When they started trying to herd me to the checkout next to the kiosk I stood my ground and explained to the lady trying to herd me about the reasons why. When she insisted I go to the bottom end of the shop I told her I was going to the loo and if she didn`t want the place at a standstill she would need to put my stuff on the conveyor, pack it when it was scanned and I would be back to pay for it when the job was done.....I have never been herded since.......and her bag packing was atrocious!!
I also stand my ground in Lidl and refuse to pay until my stuff is packed and safely in the trolley.
I also stand my ground in Lidl and refuse to pay until my stuff is packed and safely in the trolley.
Sorry Lidls is a different situation. They employ fewer staff to keep prices down. While you are standing your ground you are also holding up the people in the queue behind you - oh not to mention ruining the stats of the checkout operator. Can you not just put your stuff in the trolley, pay quickly and pack it at the wide windowsills designed for packing?
Tesco is so infuriating - I choose which till I want to go to for various reasons. I know they are only doing their job so I don't complain when herded but it is so annoying. One of the main reasons I avoid the 10 items or less tills is because 99% of the time they don't give you the option to pack. Wick Tesco is bad in general for packing your stuff when you don't want them to. I am too shy to ask them not to. What I really don't understand is why the company instructs them to pack but gives them no training on how to pack stuff properly (well this could go further back to why do most checkout operators have no common sense whatsoever when packing groceries).
And don't get me started on bag packers in the Co-op.
Cant people pack their own bags, its not that hard is it?
Mr P Cannop
04-Dec-09, 10:32
Sorry Lidls is a different situation. They employ fewer staff to keep prices down. While you are standing your ground you are also holding up the people in the queue behind you - oh not to mention ruining the stats of the checkout operator. Can you not just put your stuff in the trolley, pay quickly and pack it at the wide windowsills designed for packing?
Tesco is so infuriating - I choose which till I want to go to for various reasons. I know they are only doing their job so I don't complain when herded but it is so annoying. One of the main reasons I avoid the 10 items or less tills is because 99% of the time they don't give you the option to pack. Wick Tesco is bad in general for packing your stuff when you don't want them to. I am too shy to ask them not to. What I really don't understand is why the company instructs them to pack but gives them no training on how to pack stuff properly (well this could go further back to why do most checkout operators have no common sense whatsoever when packing groceries).
And don't get me started on bag packers in the Co-op.
whats wrong with the bag packers at the co-op's ??
dragonfly
04-Dec-09, 11:12
I just ignore them if they try to herd me to a queue I don't want to go to for one reason or another, not had any probs yet
is it just me or do the Thurso tesco's get a backhander from the brew for some of the people they employ, but also want to say that the majority of them are lovely people!
Slightly off topic, but bear with me, on the subject of Lidl.
When in Lidl I ensure all of my shopping is on the conveyor before the operator starts scanning, even if it means letting folk with a few bits go in front of me. I pack as it is scanned, obviously it is on the conveyor in the order it is going in the bags, but there are always a couple of items at the end which i pack before paying. I have never held up a huge queue but before I learned to stand my ground have had goods damaged with other things being thrown on top of them. Shopping is a trauma for me as I do not have the energy to manhandle the goods two or three times and the management have no complaint with me. I am sure they prefer my way to having me collapse in the shop, which did happen some years ago when put under pressure by staff (no longer there).
Sorry Lidls is a different situation. They employ fewer staff to keep prices down. While you are standing your ground you are also holding up the people in the queue behind you - oh not to mention ruining the stats of the checkout operator. Can you not just put your stuff in the trolley, pay quickly and pack it at the wide windowsills designed for packing?
Tesco is so infuriating - I choose which till I want to go to for various reasons. I know they are only doing their job so I don't complain when herded but it is so annoying. One of the main reasons I avoid the 10 items or less tills is because 99% of the time they don't give you the option to pack. Wick Tesco is bad in general for packing your stuff when you don't want them to. I am too shy to ask them not to. What I really don't understand is why the company instructs them to pack but gives them no training on how to pack stuff properly (well this could go further back to why do most checkout operators have no common sense whatsoever when packing groceries).
And don't get me started on bag packers in the Co-op.
tesco policy is to pack the 1st and last bag...this is to help the customer...the first to give them chance to unload their shopping onto the belt...and the last to allow them time to get their payment ready....if the customer doesnt want help all they need to do is say....its part of the mystery shopper measures that they physically and verbally offer help.....again damned if they do ....damned if they dont...
whats wrong with the bag packers at the co-op's ??
it the co op... they struggle to say hello let alone pack a bag.....
ShelleyCowie
06-Dec-09, 01:06
it the co op... they struggle to say hello let alone pack a bag.....
Agreed! I went to the coop last week for marzipan and the woman at the counter couldnt even crack a smile, or make eye contact. Dont worry people smiling is free!! :lol:
I don't think they go far enough.
I believe that many of the customers need herding with electric cattle prods, as they're quite incapable of being in the store without blocking the aisles whilst wittering away to their halfwit chums.
Many seem unable to differentiate between queueing at a till for the purpose of purchasing goods and standing at a till slack-jawed and dribbling whilst they fanny around with 37 outdated coupons (from Asda or Lidl) and then begin trying to find a two pence piece in the botton corner of their overstuffed bag rather than break into a twenty pence piece, whilst all the time droning on about the lack of small independant retailers in Wick and what that woman said up the street about the cat in Dempster Street and how Satanists are planning on opening a vegetarian laundry in Pulteneytown.
They should all be taken to a railway siding, loaded into trucks and......[evil]
.....and relax......
Ye can't relax until after the Chrissy rush min,,wait til ye see them,,bumbling around like weeble pinball all speaking to their sky high spirit guides in Klingon who seem to want whats not invented yet that could possibly be in the bakery aisle! an will ye need batteries ?? Who knows.
Agreed! I went to the coop last week for marzipan and the woman at the counter couldnt even crack a smile, or make eye contact. Dont worry people smiling is free!! :lol:
The general public's ability to make them not smile ,,priceless..
I've seen some customers treat staff in many different retailers in a way they shouldn't, if they stood back and just watched themselves they'd be amazed at the shear professionalism of the staff member to stay still without vaulting the counter and smashing their pumpkin heads in with a well used baseball bat.
Now this is a reason to go to Tesco's just to watch staff get their own back !
Can you imagine the polite and easygoing shoppers ye'd find if there was consequences such as this if ye went to far at the staff..hahahah
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